The Dragonsfall Angst Club

Writers: Aaron, Duskdog, Halyonix, Heather, Iluva, Sia
Date Posted: 22nd June 2024

Characters: M'thos, Casmari, Varethos, S'yen, Zaphare, Z'renh, M'rhas, E'kirim, H'lem
Description: M'thos surprises some of the candidates left Standing with a old family tradition.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 9, day 24 of Turn 11

M'thos

The evening after Chioneth's hatching was one of revelry, of toasting of the latest pairs and their lifemates now that the little hatchlings were tucked safe in their wallows.

And that was why M'thos waited at the candidate barracks' common room for the unlucky ones to return- some sooner than later, some more intent to sulk than others- with a bottle of fine rum from Leeward Lagoon and enough glasses for the gaggle of those that returned early. It had become a bit of a tradition with his older children after each hatching, and he hoped that they didn't mind extending the gesture to the other ones.

"Everyone else is toasting themselves." He said to the few that didn't mind his presence in their space. "And I think we can toast with something stronger than a bit of wine. Just a little, though."

"Thanks," Casmari said, being one of the sullen ones. Her mother was waiting to take her back to Barrier Lake, but she'd wanted to at least have this one last moment with the other Dragonsfall Candidates that hadn't Impressed this time either.

"'Just a little'?" Zaphare echoed. "How much is a little? Because if it's not enough to get drunk off, it might as well be water." She hadn't actually expected to Impress -- she wasn't supposed to be here at all, she _knew_ that -- but she couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed. Watching the baby dragons _choose_ somebody -- _want_ somebody -- had stirred a weird feeling inside her, and she wasn't sure whether she liked it or not. Booze, however, was always welcome. She picked up a glass and reached for the rum. "Give."

M'thos fixed Zaphare with an even stare as he filled Casmari's glass with a finger of rum. If they'd been in the wings together, he would have approved. As one of 'his' children, he could not. Thankfully he had learned to school his expression long before he'd taken a Weyrlingmaster position.

He took her glass and filled it to the exact amount and slid it back. "That's more than the new weyrlings get, Zaphare. It'd be irresponsible of me to let you get _wasted_."

He poured another glass and handed it to Varethos, who took it and held it gingerly with both hands. "I thought a green was coming for me." He said mournfully. "But then stupid Mazhel got in front of me." Maybe it was childish for an eighteen-turn old to call another guy stupid, and to think Mazhel stepped in front when in reality it was more like he was _rushing to his lifemate _, but still.

Lemhask eyed M'thos and scooted closer several times while trying very hard to pretend that he was not hoping he might be invited to try the stronger drink this time. He was not about to actually _ask_ and risk being told no. No, sir, at all.

Zorenh, on the other hand, had no such compunction. He had never had rum after failing to Impress before. And he was especially distraught after he had moved himself to the other side of the world only to find the dragons here had no more interest in him than those at Dolphin Cove.

"Could I convince you to let me have a double?" he asked.

"Well, the new weyrlings also get a _dragon_, so I don't think they're crying about not getting as much rum as us," Zaphare replied sourly. "Let the boy have a double. And give Varethos a double. He got robbed. And give me a double. No reason, I just like to drink."

"IIIIII...heard there was drinking," a new voice slurred. In walked Syerin, who obviously had an advantage when it came to being drunk that evening. His expression was sour, his tone was worse. "Are we toasting to being single yet again, friends? Oh, it's my _favorite_ time of a Hatching."

"Oh but that would be _irresponsible_, Zaphare." Merhaskel grinned, which momentarily masked the disappointment of being here with this lot and not with the Weyrlings, not with a dragon. He bounced his eyebrows at M'thos and jerked a thumb at himself and Casmari, "Yeah c'mon, Dad," then Syerin, despite already sounding sauced, "Some doubles for all us singles. It can't hurt more than being rejected." Again.

"Look here, baby tunnelsnakes." M'thos said as he poured a bit of rum for Zorenh and Syerin both. "One drink is all you get with me. Once you're in the Wings you can take _me_ out for shots. Maybe Syerin can show you where he got whatever he stuck his head in." He pulled his arm back to reach for another empty glass, not realizing how close Lemhask had gotten (or that the quiet 'squeak squeak' of his chair had faded) and was doubly surprised when his elbow came in contact with the boy's face.

"Hi, Pops." Lemhask did not even flinch. He just... stared. Hopefully. As was his wont.

"Sorry, buddy." M'thos said and poured him his drink. He tilted the kid's head back to investigate the damage. Maybe a bruise, later, but at least no broken nose. Lemhask seemed no worse for the wear, so M'thos ruffled his hair fondly before turning back to the other kids, tucking in his elbow just in case.

Lemhask beamed and held the drink like it was made of solid gold. He quickly scampered off to throw it back, in case someone tried to take it away from him.

Casmari sipped the drink down. She didn't cry but her eyes were glassy. "I'm leaving," she told M'thos and the others. "I'm going back to Barrier Lake. There should be another hatching there in a few months." She knew that probably seemed desperate but she wanted to know that she had put forth every effort to find her dragon.

"Why?" Syerin nearly exploded, projecting his own hurt into his words. "So you can double your chances at rejection?"

"Hey." Zorenh frowned at Syerin. "We're all here doing the best we can to serve and protect the people from Thread. You don't have to give her any slag for it." He knew exactly what it was like to be apart from family, to rejoin family, to move for the sake of finally finding one's place.

Merhaskel's eyes widened a little at Casmari, then flung right open at the blustery accusation, looking about wildly for someone to exchange astonishment with. Syerin could be right, of course. His stomach ached, though it wasn't from downing the shot in one gulp like he hoped. Right now it was the disappointment and annoyance that not a single dragon had so much as sniffed at him. "Well. Good luck, Casmari. Put in a good word for me?" Only having the sense to be a touch quieter, he added, "Not for them, though."

"My mother and one of my siblings are at Barrier Lake. It's not just about Impressing, _Syerin_ but I'll be sure to let you know when I _do_ Impress," Casmari shot back. She winked an eye at Merhaskel, letting him know she'd heard that last part.

"Why is everybody hanging their self-worth on getting picked by a dragon, anyways?" Zaphare questioned. "They just seem sort of like judgemental jerks? I mean, there's all this talk about how noble and gentle they are, but here they are sifting through people's brains or whatever, and just being like 'nah, not good enough' and it's probably just for dumb reasons anyway, just like it is with people." She paused to shoot back her rum all in one go. "Whew... anyway, don't let it get to you. People are jerks. Dragons probably are too."

"Yeah!" Ekirim agreed. He only caught the tail end of the conversation, but he'd learned quickly that he and Zaphare had a similar outlook on these kinds of things. "It's not _our_ fault if a dragon doesn't choose us. We are perfectly good options, right here."

"Some dragons are jerks." M'thos agreed mildly. "And the choose the person that's best for them. Take that however you like." Though, he did turn to wink at Casmari. "Barrier Lake has less clutching queens than Dragonsfall, even with that new goldrider coming. It's not about the number or frequency of clutches, Syerin."

Casmari made a face at Zaphare's comment. She didn't think dragons were jerks nor had she felt like any were "sifting" through her brain, either. **I can't believe the _Weyrlingmaster's Second_ agreed that some dragons are jerks. Faranth, maybe we _are_ a group of duds if half the Candidates or more have such negative opinions of dragons... Why are they even trying to Impress to begin with?** It was probably best she was leaving, she felt.

A fit of coughs erupted from... somewhere close by. Lemhask must have drunk the shot.

"The dragons don't have to be _jerks_ for not choosing us," said Zorenh. Although, why else would bronze after bronze have chosen someone else. "They just haven't been right for us yet. They have to live in our heads for the rest of our lives after all."

Zaphare shrugged. "Eh, I'm not saying they're jerks for not choosing us, just that they're the same as people are. Arbitrary rules. Arbitrary standards that they won't define. Standards you can't ever meet 'cause you don't know where the bar even is -- which just leaves you to sit around and wonder why you're not measuring up, what's wrong with you. It's crap. And that's why you shouldn't let it get you down. It's not your fault. You can't do better, or _be_ better, to achieve something if you don't even know what it is that you're supposed to _be_, let alone what you can do to become that. Everybody says you have to be special to Impress a dragon, but they also can't seem to say exactly what it is that makes them choose a person, except 'oh, it's the right person for them'... like, okay? What's special about that? I could choose Varethos right now because he has a cute rear, but that doesn't mean he's _special_ -- geez, it just means his butt is cute. That's all. Doesn't mean that people with flat butts are doing something wrong, it just means they aren't the person for me' right now or whatever. Nothing anybody does means anything, dragons included. Don't stress!"

If Syerin was about to extend understanding over Casmari going to Barrier Lake to see family, it was quickly retracted by everyone else shutting him down. He tossed back the drink, slammed the empty cup on the nearest flat surface, and drunkenly said, "You can nurse your wounds with whatever words you think will help but you'll still wake up with the truth in the morning. So good luck there." And he staggered out of the room to go find entertainment elsewhere.

Zorenh, on the other hand, took a glance to see what was so special about Varethos's butt.

"If you spot it, you got it, Zaphare." Rhas knew plenty of jerks who were chosen for some 'reason' or another - but calling all dragons jerks just outed her as one. Not that anything else she'd said or done had convinced him otherwise, and not that he even cared if she was. It certainly didn't prevent Merhaskel from catching Varethos' attention and nodding a supportive 'nice' in his direction at her comment, cause at least this jerk woman had eyes. She'd need those if some jerk chose her and she landed in the Wings with them.

On that note, Casmari stood and gave her glass back to M'thos. "Thank you, sir, for the drink. I'd better be going." She turned and waved to the group. "Good luck everyone on your next time out."

"Rhascal." M'thos' tone had a hint of warning in it, though he ignored the rest for Varethos' sake. "You're welcome, Casmari. Zaphare makes an…imaginative, but valid point. We don't know how dragonets choose. Some folks think there's only one person for any given dragon. Others think it's a general personality trait, or something the dragonet thinks they want in their other half. There's no 'right' answer, and they aren't telling us any time soon. We just make sure there's a good spread of kids for them to pick from."

Varethos caught Zorenh's glance and raised his eyebrows, a quiet question and silent dare. "Yeah, I think I'm going to head out too. Thanks for the drink, Dad."

Whatever that look was, it was lost on Zorenh. Maybe he was bragging? Zorenh tried to turn enough to see whether he could tell what his own butt was lacking by comparison... but he got nothing.

Zaphare wasn't sure exactly what she'd said wrong, but she was at least aware enough to pick up on the subtle shift in tone from some of her peers. Why did it always feel as if the temperature in the room dropped every time she opened her mouth? "I was just trying to make you jokers feel a little better, shells," she grumbled, pushing her chair back from the table and standing. She slid her glass in M'thos's general direction as she turned to leave, then stopped and half-turned towards the Weyrlingmaster's Second again, adding belatedly, "Thanks for the booze. I'm gone."

Merhaskel frowned thoughtfully. The heavy scope of emotion over the past few candlemarks just started to hit him. No dragon. No alcohol. No fun. No compliments. No sense of humor. And no Casmari. Who was he going to stare at in lessons now?? The only way this could get worse was if his dad told him his other dad was joining the Weyrlingstaff, too.

In retrospect, he felt a little bad and wondered whether Zaphare knew that her spotting of Varethos' butt implied that _hers_ was just as nice! That it was as much a goading as it was a compliment. And given the sway of Zaphare's hips as she left, it was practically painful.

Last updated on the June 24th 2024

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The Dragonsfall Angst Club