Sharing The News (2/2)

Writers: Avery, Devin, Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 31st October 2017

Characters: Cyradis, N'vanik, L'pin, J'ackt
Description: J'ackt finally hears the results of L'pin's investigations.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 5 of Turn 9
Notes: Notes: Part 2 of 2

Cyradis

N'vanik

J'ackt

J'ackt leaned forward, putting his face in his hands. For a long
moment, he didn't move, but just held his hands over his face. Then
slowly his shoulders began to shake, but it wasn't tears that moved
them. A low, guttural laugh emerged and as he pulled his hands away
from his face, J'ackt threw his head backwards and his laughter was
tinged with anger and bitterness that slowly grew as he spoke. "So I'm
a bastard too? Oh that's just rich. The old man knew it too...He
called me a little bastard often enough." He laughed further, wiping
at his eyes; he couldn't bear the moisture that seemed to suddenly
appear. "Makes sense!" He suddenly rose, the chair falling back behind
him as a surge of anger erupted. "A bastard!!"

L'pin wasn't sure if J'ackt's laughter was bitterness or joy. He'd
hated his father, hadn't he? So how was he feeling about this?

"You might have a father who's alive. Who you could get to know, if
you wanted. And you could know your aunt too. she wants to meet you."

"A lucky bastard," N'vanik said. "You know what I wouldn't give for
the hope that my whershit of a da wasn't actually my da at all?" He'd
fantasized about it often enough, that some day his _real_ father
would come and take him away. Comforting lies he told himself.

J'ackt turned his face away, trying desperately to control the flood
of emotions he felt. Anger, relief...pain. So much remembered pain;
he had wanted his father to love him once. He had craved it when he
was young. He felt a sudden lurch in his stomach as though he wanted
to sick up and he swallowed hard. He should feel happy that he knew
the truth, but it was buried somewhere deep inside him. His hands
shook, so he clenched them into fists as he closed his eyes.

His Mam, she'd lied to him. Was another man really his father? Why
hadn't she told him? And this woman, his Mam's sister, where had she
been while they were struggling to survive? While his mother was
dying? Where had this supposed other man been? "No." The words were
choked out as he shook his head and looked at L'pin. He swallowed
again and took a shaky steadying breath. "I don't give a feck about
her or him. I've done fine without either of them so far. That man, "
he pointed at N'vanik, "is more my father than someone my mother may
have bedded. And as for her sister..." A single ear finally leaked
down his cheek. "where was she when my Mam needed her? " He shook his
head. "When I was a boy? No, I don't want her. I don't need her."

N'vanik stood and put an arm around him. "Family is more than blood.
Whatever you find out about your past and who might be related to you,
I'm still here for you. That won't change." It was a lot to take in,
and maybe throwing out an anchor would help.

**Is Zith okay?** he asked Loseth.

Cyradis stood too. "She didn't know about you J'ackt. She didn't know
your mother needed her. Your mother never told her and cut off
communication." Her own mother's heart was torn by the naked agony.
"Neither of them knew."

He didn't want to hear it. J'ackt turned his face away to look at
L'pin even as he accepted N'vanik's half-embrace. "Thank you for
looking, L'pin." His voice was hoarse with repressed emotion and he
swallowed. "How old am I? Did they even bother writing that down? Do I
have a birthingday, or will that be a lie too?"

"You were born the 14th day of the 4th month, and you're 19. The
Hold's records say that," L'pin said. He wished month 4 wasn't so far
away, he wanted to celebrate it for J'ackt when the time came.

Other than his professed anger at his father and other relatives
J'ackt hadn't asked a question yet. So Cyradis suppressed her need to
spill any more beans that second trusting N'vanik to get the younger
man where he needed to go.

"Well now we know when to throw the party," N'vanik said in a light
tone as he tightened his arm around J'ackt.

The surge of anger faded into numbness. The lightness to N'vanik's
words didn't even register. "At least I know now." He knew more than
his birthday. But he didn't know why his mother hadn't told him the
truth. "Why didn't she tell me..."

"Dragonless," Cyradis said almost as much to herself as to him. She
couldn't fathom what that kind of existence would mean to her. "And
you weren't old enough."

"Sometimes a loss that deep hurts too much to talk about." N'vanik
only understood it secondhand from what Tal had told him and seeing
how it affected her.

"I know this isn't anything like the answers you expected," L'pin
said. "If you're not interested in meeting them, you don't have to.
Nobody will pressure you into a relationship you don't want."

"But," Cyradis stood and walked over to look up at him. "You don't
have to decide anything right away. Why don't you sleep on it tonight?
I know this is a lot to absorb. If you want to know more then we can
talk again. If not, we can just move on."

J'ackt swallowed hard and closed his eyes, struggling to maintain his
faltering composure. His hands clenched and released, then clenched
again. "I can't do this right now." He swallowed hard and turned away
from them, scrubbing at his face. "Thanks, L'pin...for looking. I just
can't..." He shook his head.

Cyradis nodded, "Let us know when you wish to speak again," she said
gently and patted his arm. She felt a great deal of motherly concern
for the young bronzerider. Whether or not he felt any sort of
connection with her other than as an authority figure. She nodded to
L'pin and N'vanik and left the room.

"I'm glad I looked into this for you, J'ackt," L'pin said. It hurt him
to think about how J'ackt seemed overwhelmed or unhappy with the news.
It must be a lot to absorb for him. He hoped that finding out more
about who he was would help him out in the long term.

Zith responded softly to Loseth, his voice just a little strained. **I
am calming him, but his emotions are very jumbled. He's very confused.
And feels abandoned? It's hard for me to understand, but I am helping
where he lets me. He will go back to his weyr and hit his bag after
this.**

For a moment, J'ackt leaned against N'vanik, nodding as Cyradis patted
him and left the room. He looked at L'pin and straightened, offering a
shaky hand. "I owe you one. Thanks."

}:My rider will let yours have time if he needs it,:{ Loseth told the
younger bronze. }:But if yours wants someone or if he's sad too long,
my rider will come to him.:{

"Not a problem." L'pin said.

Last updated on the November 2nd 2017

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Sharing The News (2/2)