Comfort and Advice

Writers: Suzee, Miriah
Date Posted: 8th February 2014

Characters: D'hol, Cyradis
Description: D'hol goes to the last person anyone suspects for comfort and advice.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 5, day 13 of Turn 7
Notes: Follows "Ain't Love a Kick in the Head"

Mentioned: Saibra, Jeyme, K'deren

D'hol

Cyradis

After a night and day of wallowing in drink, D'hol had not yet fully
sobered, even after Saibra had treated him to a metaphorical kick in
the groin. The weyr felt devastatingly empty and that damnable scarf,
unfinished sat on his couch, its yarn accusing him with its very
presence. He had spent the night holding it, plucking at the
unfinished strands, but resisting the urge to unravel in out of pure
spite. She had left it. Just left it. Like she had left him.

His inebriated mind couldn't quite grasp the fact that she hadn't come
back. She loved him. She was supposed to simply be angry and come back
after a candlemark or so, they would talk, bed each other and it would
be fine the next day. But it hadn't happened that way. Yumath couldn't
get Quinneth to respond to him and now the big bronze was giving him
the silent treatment. He stared around at the empty weyr and suddenly
couldn't stand the sight of it. Standing, his legs wobbled and he
shook his head, forcing it into some semblance of clarity.

Letting his feet guide him, uncertain and uncaring as to where he was
going, he found himself outside of Cyradis' weyr. His brow furrowed.
Was he coming to see K'deren? No...he was at drills, wasn't he? He
blinked and knocked at the door.

Cyradis had been up reading unable to take the nap she'd planned. That
sometimes happened to her when she was pregnant. She'd get extremely
tired but when she tried to lay down, sleep wouldn't come. She got up
and padded to the door in her bare feet.

"D'hol? What..." But she could smell what. He reeked of alcohol and
she waved a hand in front of her nose. "You shouldn't be drinking like
this, you're barely out of the infirmary."

He stared at her blearily and swallowed. "We used to talk. All the
time." He leaned against her door frame. "Before everything else...we
talked, didn't we?" He closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head
against the door. "We were friends, once..."

She paused and her eyebrows knit together for a moment. "Yes D'hol,"
she said carefully. "We were friends." They'd been great friends
before love had broken everything and messed with their minds. "Do you
need to talk?"

He opened one eye and looked at her wearily. "Do you have anything to
drink? I ran out...don't want to go back to the weyr." He slumped
slightly. "Its empty."

"Empty?" She opened the door wide and stepped aside. "What happened?"
Then she sighed and shook her head. "What did you do?"

He stumbled in, headed for the couch and collapsed into a slumping
sit, half bent. "She hasn't come back. She was supposed to come back.
I told her I cared about her and it wasn't enough." He swallowed. "I
grabbed her. She hit me. You know I can't stand being hit in the face.
Never could..." He lifted his head. "I never lied about my
feelings...maybe I should have."

"Oh boy," Cyradis said and pulled her pot of Klah from the sideboard
to pour him a cup and refresh her own. Then she curled up on the other
end of the couch. "So what I am getting from this is that Jeyme left
you?"

He didn't take the cup from her, but stared down at the floor, then
gave a bitter laugh. "Oh yes and then Saibra came to pay me a visit.
That woman is an unholy terror. It made me think too much." He
slowly turned his head to look at her. "You know...my life would be a
hell of a lot simpler if I could hate you, Cyradis." He rubbed his
eyes and sighed. "Can't even do that. And now..." His head bent again,
resting his brow in his hands, shoulders slumped.

The corner of her mouth quirked up. "You did hate me for quite awhile
there you know. It didn't really work either." She wrapped her hands
around her steaming cup. "It was very hard for me to give myself
permission to feel again after you left. Somehow you need to let go of
the past and look to the future, if that's possible."

"Sometimes I still want to." He admitted softly. "And it doesn't
change how I feel, Cyradis. Not about you. It's not like I can just
stop loving you. It may be easy for you to do, but its not for me,
shaffit." He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "But damn it to blazes, I
feel for her too. It doesn't make sense. Shards...I need a drink. Are
you sure you don't have anything?"

"I know you can't turn it off any more than you can turn off the
ocean." She shook her head knowing she should never admit it to him...
yet. "But you can learn to live with it and learn to love more than
one person at a time. Just like you can love more than one child at a
time. Loving her doesn't mean changing your feelings for me any more
than mine for you though I love K'deren more than I can say. It's
almost like you find a new room in your weyr."

"Neither of you are children." He snorted and frowned when she didn't
offer him anything hard to drink. He did _not_ want to sober up. He
eyed her klah cup and rubbed at his temples. But then something sank
into his beleaguered mind and he slowly turned to look at her. "You
didn't deny still loving me." He then held up his hand, stilling her
from answering him. "Don't...don't answer that. I'm too drunk. " He
pinched the bridge of his nose and looked back down at the ground with
a muttered curse. "Don't know what to do about her, Cyradis. I...I
miss her."

"Thats not what I meant." she chuckled. "And Of course I have stuff
but you've already had plenty. And don't look at me like that." She
leaned over and pushed the Klah toward him. She knew he'd remember
what she said later but rather hoped he'd turn back to Jeyme. It would
be better for him and better for her. "Do you think you might love her
a little? Because I don't think you'd be getting this drunk just
because she wasn't in your bed. You're a bronzerider, crook a finger
and you could have a dozen women in your bed."

He couldn't maintain the grumbling scowl as she pushed the klah at
him. Drunk and still wavering, he took the cup and instead glowered at
the dark liquid in it. "Rather have wine or something like it. " He
took a sip and sighed, then looked back up at her with a slight huff.
"Saibra said the same thing. You all must run in packs." He grimaced
and looked back down at the cup. "I couldn't say this to her, but..."
He paused, staring down at the liquid in the cup. If he had been
sober, none of the words in his head would now be spilling out of his
mouth. "How I feel about Jeyme is not the same as how I feel about
you. It's different. I didn't think it was as deep." He took another
long drink and turned his head to look at Cyradis, suddenly feeling
vulnerable. "Yeah. I guess I do. " He slowly reached out a hand to
find Cyradis' and held it lightly, staring at her fingers in his own.
"I miss this...being able to talk to you."

"Oh did she now," Cyradis half smiled proud of her 'second. But her
fingers closed willingly in his when he reached for her hand. "Every
love is different from all others because the person you love is
different," she said softly. How could she even compare the way she
felt for K'deren with the way she had for D'hol? It wasn't at all the
same at all. "Just let it be what it is and let her know you're a
silly fool and didn't realize how much you cared."

Then she smiled and squeezed his hand. "So have I D'hol, We were
friends for Turns before we were lovers. I've missed that friendship
most of all."

He looked down at their hands, his thumbs stroking over her fingers.
"I meant what I said, Cyradis, about never stopping loving you." He
stopped, watching their fingers for long moments. "But I guess we both
have room in our hearts for more than one person."

"I know," she said softly. "You'll always own a piece of my heart
too," she added with another squeeze of his fingers. "But right now,
you should sleep this off and then go find Jeyme and tell her how you
feel about her." She leaned forward and put a finger under his chin.
"And be nice."

He rubbed his tired eyes and nodded. "Thank you, Cyradis. For doing this."

"Of course," she smiled and stood up. "Now go... sleep."

Last updated on the February 26th 2014

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Comfort and Advice