We Need To Think About It . . . Or Not

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 12th March 2007
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: N'vanik, Talryne
Description: N'vanik finally tracks down Talryne, and they try to have a serious discussion on what happened.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 1 of Turn 4

N'vanik

Talryne

Nearly a full day had passed since she'd run out of his weyr. He kept giving himself reasons to stay away, but here he was, standing at her door. N'vanik knocked. "Tal, are you there? It's me."

The door opened after a few moments, revealing an exhausted looking Talryne. For a moment she just looked at him, her eyes blank and unreadable. Then she took a step forward and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest with a gentle sigh.

Blinking in surprise, N'vanik wrapped his arms around her. "So you're . . .okay?"

She shook her head against his chest, her body slumping against his. "Not really." It wasn't a very helpful statement, but she was so tired from the last day that she didn't care. "Want to come inside?"

"Okay," he said, wondering what she meant by 'not really'.

Talryne pulled back and let him move past her into her weyr before closing the door gently behind him. For a moment she leaned her head against the door, trying to gather the courage to face him again.

N'vanik watched her, feeling a strange ache in his chest. "I didn't mean to push you."

The words made her laugh helplessly and turn to face him. "Shards, N'vanik. How can you think you pushed me? You have been nothing but patient and understanding and--" **Perfect.** "It's me. I messed things up. It's what I do."

He laughed awkwardly. "Hey, you're stealin' my line! Messing things up is my specialty."

She smiled weakly and stayed leaning against the door. "You've got competition now. I'm... pretty talented at it."

"I'd rather not have a contest," N'vanik said quietly.

Talryne cleared her throat. "You didn't push me, N'vanik. It was--it's been a while since I felt anything. And what I felt when you kissed me--it was pretty overwhelming. I didn't mean to lead you on, I just didn't realize how intense it would be."

"Intense is the right word." He sighed. "Tal, I want you. I mean, that's--it's pretty obvious. But I'd rather be frustrated than do something that would chase you away. If I had to go through what you did, I'd be dead." Loseth sent his assurance that he was still here and he wasn't going anywhere. "So you can do what you need to feel comfortable. It's not like I don't go off and--take care of things."

That brought a rush of color to her cheeks. "It's just confusing, N'vanik. And I feel stupid. I'm acting like some innocent holdbred girl who has never seen a man with his shirt off."

**Like that book?** "Don't feel stupid. You're just . . . adjusting."

She hesitated for a moment and then decided to give him honesty. Maybe not the complete truth... but enough that it might scare him away anyway. "No. I'm scared. I couldn't even sleep last night because I wasn't with you. If I need you that badly now--" She swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to meet his eyes. "You might not like having me quite that attached to you."

N'vanik swallowed and struggled not to look away. "I slept with Loseth last night, cause I wasn't sure If I'd sleep otherwise." Honesty was easier with her than anyone else, but shards it was still frightening.

"I don't know what we're doing," she admitted in a voice that was almost a whisper. "I've never been with a man who was interested in anything other than how quickly he could get my clothing off. I don't know what you want, or what I should do."

"_I'm_ not even sure about what I want. I should be running from you, but I just can't seem to do it." They were treading dangerously close to things he didn't even want to admit to himself.

Talryne closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the door. "Maybe we need to think about it, then, before we do anything else. I don't think I am up to losing anyone else that I--" She let out a ragged breath. "That I care about."

He reached out and took her hand. "Maybe we could just sit down and I could read you something. We can worry about thinking later." Or, never.

"All right." She let him lead her to the couch, determined to distract herself even if it wouldn't make things better. The more confused and upset she felt, the harder she had to fight against the temptation to fling herself into the arms of the first man who seemed willing. N'vanik was more than willing, and oh-so tempting...

And not the type of man you wanted to fall hopelessly in love with, no matter how tolerant he seemed now. She couldn't rid herself of the fear that once the tension and expectation was behind them, N'vanik would grow bored of having her in his life instead of just his bed.

Last updated on the March 13th 2007

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We Need To Think About It . . . Or Not