All The Difference In The World

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 6th March 2007
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: Talryne, Merasaby
Description: Talryne takes refuge in a weaver's workroom after her encounter with N'vanik, and gets some friendly advice from Merasaby.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 28 of Turn 4

Talryne

Talryne hesitated on the threshold of the workroom where some of the weavers kept supplies. One or two of them had welcomed her into their midst in the past few sevendays, urging her to take whatever supplies she wanted and come for help whenever she needed it. One kindly old lady had even winked at her and said that it was never too late to pick up a craft. She'd crept out of her weyr when two candlemarks of tossing and turning restlessly in her bed. The disasterous end to her evening with N'vanik had rattled her far too much for sleep. She'd thought to sneak into the workroom and spend some time alone looking through the yarn, but someone was already inside, working with far too much energy for the late candlemark.

Hearing a sound behind him, Merasaby looked up. "Talryne! Sweetheart, what are you doing here so late?"

Talryne smiled shyly. "I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd look for some yarn."

"I'll give you a hand. I need a break, anyway. My eyes are starting to cross!" Merasaby got up from the stool and stretched his back until it popped. "All right. But I don't really know what I'm looking for..." She ventured into the room and tried not to be nervous. She'd talked to Merasaby a few times during her visits, and he'd always been very nice to her. He was easy to talk to, and not in the least bit intimidating. "I don't really have a project in mind yet."

"Well, let's see what sparks your imagination." He walked over to the yarn supplies.

She followed behind him and dragged a stool over to the shelf to sit on. "I finished that scarf. I think it turned out all right."

"Did he like it?" Saby asked. She hadn't said who it was for, but her choice of yarn was a good indication it was meant for a bronzerider.

Talryne's cheeks flushed as she studied the shelf carefully. "I guess so." N'vanik's reaction to the gift would probably not be what she remembered best about the evening.

He turned to look at her. "You guess so? Oh, honey, did he not seem excited?"

The corner of her lip twitched up in a dark smile. "Oh, a lack of excitement wasn't exactly the problem." At least the evening hadn't reburied her sense of humor. The months she'd spent not being able to laugh at things had been miserable.

"Ohhhhh." Merasaby smiled. "I should make more scarves. I didn't know they were _that_ good!"

Talryne hunched her shoulders and poked at one of the baskets of heavy wool. "I don't think I need to be giving any more scarves for a while."

"Did something bad happen?"

She picked up a skein of yarn and ran her fingers over it lightly. "Sort of. I feel young and stupid right now."

Saby pulled a stool over and sat next to her. "Ah, yes. I still get that feeling myself sometimes. Now, the feeling young isn't a problem, but why do you feel stupid?"

Talking to someone she hadn't known very long should have seemed hard, but Saby had a way of putting her at ease, even now when she didn't want to see people. "I was pretty sheltered until a turn or two ago when I came to the Weyr. I didn't get much of a chance to adjust before I Impressed. And sometimes I feel like there's a lot of stuff I never learned." Like what it was like to actually have feelings for a man beyond the expectation of pleasure.

"That doesn't make you stupid. You have plenty of time to learn," Saby said.

Talryne's cheeks turned a little pink as she looked back down at the yarn. "I think... I think I have feelings. For someone. But I've never had feelings for a man before, and now... I can't tell if it's because of everything that's happened, or if I'm really--" She couldn't even say the words. **Falling in love.**

"I know a little something about having feelings for a man." He sighed happily at the memories. "It can be very confusing the first time."

She wasn't sure how much of her relationship with N'vanik had become fodder for gossip, so she glanced at the weaver. "Do you--do you know where I lived until recently?"

"I've . . . heard a few things," he said carefully. She tried to laugh. "Probably pretty wild things. I know people like to gossip about N'vanik." Between his relationship with Traelyn and his fistfight with U'kaiah, N'vanik had secured a permanent place in weyr gossip.

Saby smiled. "Honey, I've heard everything from the romantic to the horrifying about that man, and I admit I've helped spread a few of them."

"Well, nothing was going on. Romantic _or_ horrifying." She shrugged and smoothed a strand of the yarn back into place. "He was really nice. And his dragon would talk to me, sometimes. And I got to feel like I wasn't alone. And I really needed that."

"And things are different now that you've moved out?"

She set the yarn aside and picked up a different skein. "Not really. At least, not at first. I didn't sleep well, so sometimes he stayed with me, and sometimes I stayed with him. I had my own space... but it was just more comfortable not to be alone at night." Her fingers tightened around the skein as she closed her eyes. "I needed him for a long time. How am I supposed to tell the difference between needing him and... and just wanting him?"

"Well, I can't really say. You went through something very difficult and I can't begin to understand what that was like--what it's still like for you now." He patted her knee gently. "Maybe you could ask yourself if you want him, or just what he gives you?"

Talryne didn't open her eyes. She wasn't sure she could say the words if she opened her eyes. "I kissed him tonight. I've kissed him before, but tonight... it was different."

"There was something else there?" It was as much a statement as a question. Her thoughts drifted back to earlier in the evening, and the intense reaction she'd had to kissing him. "I think so. But--I don't know. For a long time I didn't really feel very much. I don't think I've ever felt like that before... but everything's so different from what it was before." She sighed and opened her eyes. "I'm not making any sense."

Saby put a hand on her shoulder. "It's alright, sweetheart. Feelings are confusing."

She met his eyes. "I never believed much in romance. Can it really make so much of a difference?"

A wide smile lit his face. "It can make all the difference in the world."

Last updated on the March 10th 2007

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All The Difference In The World