Sharing Trust

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 29th August 2026

Characters: N'vanik, I'serin
Description: N'vanik confesses a secret to I'serin.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 3, day 14 of Turn 13
Notes: Mentioned: K'valdran, N'kevyn

N'vanik

I'serin

Today it was just the two of them, on an isolated beach where they could relax and have a quiet conversation. "So how's it going, being a Wingthird?" N'vanik asked as he poured I'serin a drink.

There was a pause as I'serin considered how best to answer that. "Different," he said with a mixed tone. "I somehow thought that it would be easier coming from Weyrleadership. I would already be used to the policies and procedures." He accepted the drink and took a sip. "Yet, there is...tension? Transition? Something that I am trying to navigate."

"Hard to take orders again when you're used to being in charge?" N'vanik didn't know how he'd be able to handle it if he lost his rank, and he'd be furious to be demoted all the way to Wingthird, but he and I'serin were very different in many ways.

But I'serin shook his head. "No, it is not that. It is..." There was a long, contemplative pause as he figured out how to articulate his thoughts. "Like you thought you understood how something worked and then discovered that it does not work that." Another sip. "I feel somewhere in between. Betwixt. I am part of the leadership circles yet viewed as...not." He had a feeling that the latter part was because the current leadership held his inexperience against him.

"He gave you the lowest rank he could without pushing you back to wingrider," N'vanik said with a frown. "It sounds like he's rubbin' it in." He wouldn't, he knew it would only cause problems, but he had an urge to go to Dragonsfall and give K'valdran an earful.

That sounded plausible but I'serin was not entirely convinced. "I would have _preferred_ to spend more time as a wingrider rather than be treated as this...looming threat. The Weyrleader and my new Wingleader have made it clear that I am to be trained better since Aluneth may win Chioneth's favor again and then where would the Weyr be?" He rubbed his forehead as he exhaled softly. "I am tired of this transitionary feeling though. I would far prefer knowing what direction to move in. As I did with the Holdless." Even though people disputed his decision, he knew he had made the right decision in saving _people_, not letting their label damn them.

N'vanik made a low, displeased noise that was almost a growl. "Offer still stands to come to Dolphin Cove." Then he took a breath, trying to shake off his anger. "Oh, I did want to talk to you about something. I talked with N'kevyn about the whole liking men thing, and he thinks _I'm_ the weird one for not wanting an occasional tumble with a man until now. We could maybe include him in some of our chats, if you'd like another bronzerider to talk to?"

I'serin stilled like an animal that sensed a trap closing in. He knew N'kevyn but not very well. Most of their conversations had occurred in formal settings, not friendly ones like this. "I...would like to pass on that. For now," he said. And he hoped that N'vanik would understand. Yes, it was of great relief to know that he was not alone in his sexuality but for every person he revealed that to, the greater the chance that someone unsavory discovered this and I'serin was not ready to open himself up to more attacks just yet.

N'vanik nodded. "I get it. It can be hard to let more people in when you've been holding something like that close for so long." He shifted as his thoughts turned to his own secrets, his stomach tightening with nerves. "You put a lot of trust in me when you told me, and that means a lot."

"You showed me that you had earned that trust," I'serin pointed out truthfully. The Dolphin Cove Weyrleader had moved from professional colleague to mentor to friend in a short amount of time because his openness and support. I'serin deeply appreciated that.

N'vanik's heart was racing. Shards, why was this so hard? He wanted to extend the same trust he'd been shown, and he wanted I'serin to know, to understand this deeper truth about him. "I've got something I've been holding close, too. When I ran away from my father, I didn't join a caravan with my ma's relatives." He swallowed. "I was Holdless."

For some reason, that admission did not surprise I'serin as much as he thought it would. Perhaps it was because N'vanik had such a storied life already. But, still, there was cause to be concerned, perhaps, because while someone's past did not foretell their future, it could still be present in many ways, and thus, that was why I'serin asked quietly, gently, "For what?"

N'vanik took a breath. "At first it was just 'cause I ran away, but then . . ." He hadn't planned on sharing this part. "I started stealing. To eat, to survive. But I liked it -- the thrill of it, and having marks in my pocket -- so I took far more than I needed." He wondered how I'serin would take that, and part of him braced for judgment.

Silence descended for a long moment. It was obvious that I'serin was mulling this information over but on what side of the mark his stance would be was hard to discern. Finally, he asked, "Did you ever purposefully harm someone?"

Silence stretched again as N'vanik looked away. Finally he said, "Yes."

I'serin's voice was stripped of emotion. "What did you do?"

Fear and shame welled up inside N'vanik, making his throat tight. Honesty might cost him a friendship, but he'd already come this far. "I hurt people a few times, when they wouldn't give me what I wanted. I could make all kinds of excuses for what I did, but . . . I wasn't a very good person."

}:I love you.:{ Loseth tried to push the bad memories and feelings from his rider's mind.

The other bronzerider's eyes lifted towards the sky, as though the words he sought to say were somewhere in the clouds. He was a long time in finding them as he balanced what he knew about N'vanik now, how I'serin had also made mistakes (though not to the same degree), the question of should the past define the present of a person, and onwards, until he finally asked, "Have you learned better lessons from that time?"

A little half-laugh escaped N'vanik. "Shards, yes. Loseth saved me. He showed me what love felt like, and fighting Thread gave me a purpose, and eventually I learned to let myself care for other people instead of following all my worst impulses and then feeling guilty about it. And I let other people care for me, too. The rush of stealing is nothing compared to all that."

I'serin was not thinking of the theft but rather the harm caused to others but he tucked it away to pore over later. "Then I am glad that those Turns are behind you," he said quietly, though it was heartfelt. I'serin was not certain if he could amiably resolve being friends with someone still willing to hurt others as Holdless were known to do.

N'vanik was quiet for a moment. "I'll always carry some part of who I was back then. It marked me deep -- the desperation, the strength it took to survive, the dark things I learned about myself. But hurting people just so I could take things from them . . . I'll regret that forever. That time, that kid, is so far away from who I've become, and yet it's right there behind me."

"Our past often is," I'serin agreed somberly as he looked back up at the sky. He exhaled softly, lowered his gaze, and then said, "I thank you for telling me. I appreciate your honesty, even if it is painful to admit." He offered N'vanik a small but genuine smile.

"Only a handful of people know. But I trust you." N'vanik took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feeling of being exposed. "Now you know why I'm so willing to offer the Holdless a chance."

It did indeed make more sense now. "So far," I'serin said slowly, "we have had surprising success with their Weyr integration. Though, I have some concerns about how adjusted they will be once they graduate and are fighting Thread." That, however, was not his problem.

"Thread focused me. It might do the same for some of them," N'vanik said.

"It might," I'serin hesitantly agreed. Or it might spell disaster of another kind. Which was still not his problem per se, but I'serin felt responsible nonetheless.

He did his best to shake off the feeling. Reaching over to their supplies, he refilled their drinks. "Though, I am a mere Wingthird now. That will be someone else's problem to navigate," he said as he lifted his glass to toast.

N'vanik chuckled as he clicked their glasses together, some of the tension leaving him. "You settling into that now? Do you like being a Wingthird?"

I'serin made a small, unhappy face. "Not...really," he admitted. He then chuckled. "It could be worse. I could have your rank again."

N'vanik patted his friend on the shoulder. "At least there's that."

Last updated on the September 13th 2026

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Sharing Trust