How Horrible...

Writers: Devin, Miriah
Date Posted: 6th March 2024

Characters: N'vanik, Enali
Description: N'vanik confronts Enali alone
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 20 of Turn 10

N'vanik

For once, Enali was thankful that she was heavily pregnant; it meant
that she didn't have to ride dragonback anywhere. The notion always
frightened her and she'd never been comfortable around the big
beasts...they seem to stare into your very soul and pluck out your
thoughts. She shuddered at the notion even as she settled into her
seat to wait. The chair wasn't uncomfortable, but neither was it
cushioned enough to really relax, just like her bed was just
comfortable enough to sleep, but not so much that she could melt into
it.

She sighed, staring out dully in front of her. There was little for
her to do in this tiny little weyr. There was nothing to occupy her
mind but her own misery and mistakes. Perhaps that was the idea.
Hardly any company except the Healers checking on her and that one boy
that had caught her. Occasionally the Mindhealer would come, but it
wasn't often. She supposed it was just to make sure she didn't jump to
her death. She had considered it, but that blasted old green dragon
kept far too close of an eye on the ledge. And even so, she was scared
to look down off of the ledge; there was nothing but the crash of
ocean waves on the rocks below. The thought of falling so far, even
for control of her own death, was too terrifying. **I'm a coward,**
she thought.

The scrabble of talons drew her from her thoughts as her brows rose.
Was the boy back? The sharp sound of heavier boot heels told her it
was no light young man and it didn't sound like the soft footsteps of
the MindHealer or other Healers. She sat up, her hands tightening on
the arms of the chair as she waited.

N'vanik had seen Enali as little as possible since she was caught. The
rage wasn't going to do him any good. But he'd calmed some over the
sevendays that had passed and decided to pay the prisoner a visit. He
stepped into the seaside weyr, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the
dimmer interior. "This is much nicer than you deserve, but a storage
room would be bad for the baby."

It wasn't who she was expecting at all. She shrank back in her chair
and looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. "Why are you here? I'm
miserable. Doesn't that make you happy enough?"

"It does make my days a little brighter." His smile was more a showing
of teeth. "How's my little dragonrider doing?" He pointed at her
belly.

Enali's jaw tightened, refusing to look at N'vanik as her hands
tightened over her belly as if shielding it from the Weyrleader's
gaze. "It's alive." Her lower lip trembled even as she tried to
stiffen it." Are you going to kill me after it's born?"

"Clever of you to get pregnant so I couldn't hurt you. You better hope
that little one stays healthy."

She finally looked over at him, her lips tight against her teeth. "Or
what? You'll kill me even more?" She snorted. "I don't really have any
other choice, do I?"

"No, you don't." Much as he wished she wasn't pregnant so he could end
her as soon as possible, maybe in some ways this was better. To make
her stew in her misery, make her think about what she'd done and worry
about what was coming for her. "Did they put you up to this too?
Trying to get knocked up with my kid?"

Enali looked away again, her knuckles whitening on the arm of the
chair as her other hand laid flat on her belly. What good would it do
to not tell him? She knew full well that she'd been used. Her
shoulders slumped just a little. "Yes. But it didn't work. Instead I
got...his."

"Same result." N'vanik shrugged, though inside he was furious all over
again that she'd used this to hurt J'ackt. "The father could be a
drudge and it still would've saved you. The healer, Bertin, he's
making a case that you were just being used. That the people behind
this took advantage of your grief and that me and the Weyrwoman should
show you mercy." He wanted her to suffer, but he didn't want her so
hopeless she might kill herself -- and the babe with her.

Her fingers began stroking over the rounded abdomen and she shifted
uncomfortably. "I don't think the Weyr believes much in mercy, do
you?" Her voice was soft, defeated now and flat with dull acceptance.
The fire that had once been in her had been firmly squashed by her
imprisonment, discussion with the Mind Healer, and the realization of
her own blindness in the entire affair. "This baby won't even know who
I am. You'll take it and kill me. I'm not stupid."

"Stupid enough to come here and try to kill dragons." He watched her
with narrowed eyes.

"Apparently." She didn't deny it and didn't look at him, simply
staring into the dark of the quiet weyr. "Are you finished? Is there
anything else you wanted, Weyrleader? Or did you just want to make
sure that I know what's coming to me? I do."

"What did you think would happen if you would've succeeded? Escape the
Weyr and then what? Every dragonrider on Pern would've been hunting
you."

Her voice remained dull. "Not if no one knew it was me. But it doesn't
matter. I was supposed to be taken out by wagon." Enali's finger's
plucked aimlessly at her chair arm. "I was foolish to believe that it
would happen. I couldn't have gone home. Not like this. Not with
child. I would have been shamed. No one would have wanted me." She
gave a small sigh. "Everything was a lie. Is that what you want to
hear?"

"You always regret it after you get caught, huh?" N'vanik crossed his
arms. "Grevan was the same. Raged and cursed at everyone at first, and
then he sat there and felt sorry for himself."

Unseen, a single tear leaked down Enali's face as she kept herself
into the shadows. **Grevan...** She inwardly moaned in grief, memories
of his face causing fierce stabs of pain in her chest. "What do you
want me to say, Weyrleader?"

He really didn't know. Curiosity had brought him up here, to make sure
she was miserable but wasn't going to hurt herself -- because that
would endanger the baby. "Nothing." He shook his head. "If you'd
attacked me, I might've been able to forgive you. But you went after
the hatchlings, and it was only luck that you didn't succeed. _And_
you poisoned the Weyrwoman." He took a breath to push down the surge
of rage.

"Not to kill her." Enali immediately objected, her eyes swinging to
meet him. "I never meant that. I just wanted her to sleep. That's all.
So her queen wouldn't get involved. " Even she hadn't been foolish
enough to consider killing a queen!

"She's pregnant. You could've killed the baby." Not that he expected
Enali to care.

Enali fell silent for a moment, chewing on her lower lip, then looked
away. "Aye. I could have." She didn't deny it. "And that would have
hurt you, wouldn't it? Since everyone knows it's your babe. But that
wasn't what I was trying to do."

"Mine or her weyrmate's." Though N'vanik wanted to believe Cyradis's
feeling that it was his. "And if you'd succeeded in killing the
weyrlings it would have hurt Grevan's brother, probably killed him
too. And who knows how many other newly-Impressed would have followed
their hatchlings to death. Or lived on with half their hearts ripped
out of them, never whole again."

"That's how I felt when Grevan died, not that anyone ever cared about
that." Enali's voice remained flat and dull even as she looked away.
"Are you finished telling me how horrible I am now? Can I go back to
bed?"

N'vanik frowned at her for a moment, wondering if he could even make
her feel shame for what she'd done. "I suppose. Rest is good for the
baby." He rubbed his chin. "I think I'll give it some of my name."

At that, Enali closed her eyes, turned her face away, and a single
tear leaked down her cheek as she swallowed. She didn't want him to
know that she wept, so she kept her face turned and didn't brush the
tear away. "I'm sure you will." She awkwardly pushed herself up out of
her chair, struggling just for a moment to right herself. Saying
nothing more, she waddled to her bed, keeping her back to the
Weyrleader.

N'vanik wondered if he'd hit the mark with that one. He walked away
with a not-at-all-pleasant smile.

Last updated on the March 9th 2024

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