A Needed Change

Writers: Heather, Miriah
Date Posted: 3rd September 2021

Characters: R'nar, D'hol
Description: R'nar reports for duty and reflects on D'hol's visit
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 9, day 1 of Turn 10

D'hol

The irrational need to avoid the eyes of others wasn't nearly as overwhelming
as he walked from his weyr at Barrier Lake towards the Weyrleader's
office to report in as it had been at Dolphin Cove. Really, R'nar had
D'hol to thank for coming to Barrier Lake, until his former Wingleader
had stopped by Dolphin Cove
to see him, he hadn't entertained the thought of leaving.

**Flashback**

}:Yumath's rider is here to see you.:{ Iorath nudged into R'nar's
solemn thoughts softly.

**D'hol?** R'nar sat up quickly and began tearing through his weyr,
tossing things here, stuffing things there, to make the place look
more presentable. After Reyela's help, the weyr had remained neat for
approximately two days and then... well... it had started to slide.

Running to the mirror, R'nar began tucking his shirt into his pants
with stiff jerks of his hands, and then he ran his fingers through his
curly hair, but it was unnameable so he quickly gave it up in favor of
stamping his feet into his boots instead. He didn't want his former
Wingleader, a man he looked up to, to see him at his worst.

There was a soft rap at the door between the Weyr and the ledge after
Yumath settled long enough to allow his rider to dismount. Yumath
bobbed his head briefly at Iorath, then withdrew to not crowd the
younger dragon's weyr with his larger bulk. "R'nar, do you have a
moment free?"

"Of course, sir, come in." R'nar said, stepping back so that the
Barrier Lake Weyrleader could enter.

D'hol stepped in and glanced around the weyr only for a moment before
his eyes settled on R'nar. "I was just visiting your mother. She told
me what happened." His lips thinned. "I thought I might check up on
how you were."

Of course D'hol had been there to visit his mother, R'nar thought.
Perhaps that was what made him look up to D'hol more than he looked up
to his own father. "I'm um..." well, it was clear he was flailing, so
there was no point in lying. "I'm surviving," he finally managed to
say.

"Hm." D'hol's initial grunt was noncommittal as he studied the young
man he'd known since childhood. Finally he replied. "Sometimes that's
all you can really do, R'nar." He fell silent for a moment before
continuing. "Losing someone you care about is never easy.
Unfortunately, we're told to expect it but it doesn't make it easier.
Do you have friends that are helping you through this?"

R'nar thought of A'vel immediately and then K'deren's son K'don. "A
friend and some extended family." Then he thought of the one person
who really kept him putting one foot in front of the other. "And
Eranar, my son."

D'hol nodded slowly. "And I assume your mother is helping the best she
can." But with Cyradis' duties and her own pregnancy, he knew that she
could only do so much for her son. He didn't bother asking about
R'nar's father; he doubted the man would be bothered much. "Have you
seen a Mindhealer yet?"

"Just enough to be cleared to fly." R'nar answered. He'd been on his
best behavior and minded his p's and q's so he could get back into
Threadfall. Drills and Threadfall were the two things keeping him
sane.

Frowning, D'hol rubbed his jaw in thought. He liked the young man and
often found it difficult to separate his memory of the young child he
had known. "You need more than that, R'nar." He spoke carefully. "You
need to do more than survive. You know that."

A wry smile crossed the younger bronzerider's lips. "This is coming
from the man who hid his illness for months?" It struck him as ironic,
how he was more like D'hol in some ways than he was his own father.

He shrugged. "I've had to see a Mindhealer more than once. Sometimes
it's helpful. And don't think your mother didn't recommend it for me.
She did. I just don't always listen to her." D'hol considered the
younger man. "But I think you should and I'm recommending that to
you." He frowned again and glanced around the family weyr. "You're
still living in the same weyr. Do you think that's a good idea?"

R'nar glanced around. "Most of her things are gone," he said, but he
could still hear her laugh and see the mischievous glint in her eye in
every corner. "I haven't… I haven't been able to bring myself to say
goodbye to this weyr yet…." He shrugged, the action made to try and
hide his emotions. "It's the last place I saw her."

"Yet the memories are still there." D'hol finished. "R'nar, I've had
losses. Several. You'll need a fresh start in a new home. Ask the
Headwoman. She'll be able to find a place for you, I'm sure."

"I could do that," he reasoned, "but what about the Weyr? I watched
her Impress in the Dining Cavern. I helped her bathe her dragon in the
Weyrlake. She sat and glared at me in the Dining Hall when we had an
argument."

Sighing, D'hol spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. "You may be
too young to remember, but after your mother and I no longer were
amicable, I tried to stay in our Weyr. It didn't work. When I had
other losses in other Weyrs, I had similar issues." His lips lifted
humorlessly. "There's a reason I've been to so many Weyrs, R'nar. But
even if it was what I needed to do, it doesn't mean that it's what you
need to do."

"I only meant, if I'm going to see her memory around the Weyr, then
what's the difference in seeing her here in the weyr we shared?" R'nar
had not really considered leaving Dolphin Cove. It was where he'd
impressed Iorath, where his son had been born, and where Ranni had
died. It was a mixed bag of good and bad memories. "I suppose this is
where you say a mindhealer could help sort that out."

D'hol gave an answering nod. "Yes. You have to do what's best for you
and your son, R'nar. A mindhealer might help you figure that out."

"I'd appreciate it if you don't tell Ma that I'm thinking about
leaving." R'nar said around a grin.

Brows shot up. "Not a chance. Do you know what your mother would do to
me? I value my goods, thank you."

That made R'nar chuckle. He'd seen his mother's wrath before and
completely understood.

***End Flashback***

R'nar knocked smartly on the Weyrleader's door, and then pushed it
open when he heard D'hol's voice on the other side. "Reporting for
duty, Weyrleader."

D'hol looked up at R'nar and nodded. "I see you're in one piece." His
lips lifted quickly, then settled to his normal cool exterior. "Let's
talk about your wing placement."

Last updated on the October 1st 2021

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

A Needed Change