Mama Wher is Fiesty

Writers: Heather, Miriah
Date Posted: 30th December 2020

Characters: J'ackt, Saibra
Description: Saibra is a mama wher and J'ackt is her prey.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 6, day 18 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Alina, Saidrene, Cyradis, K'ran

J'ackt

Saibra

J'ackt checked the straps as Zith shifted from foot to foot. The visit
with Timassa had went well, but it had been short. She'd been busy
with wingthird duties and even though she'd been glad to see him,
asked that he come back later when she had more free time. It was
disappointing, but understandable. He slapped Zith's hide and looked
up. **Ready to go?**

"J'ackt!" A familiar voice called. From behind him, a familiar
goldrider crossed the weyrbowl, having just been dropped off by her
own ride.

J'ackt went still. **Feck.** He debated on simply climbing on Zith to
leave and go /between/. It would likely be the safer option; but the
voice was too close. He sighed and turned, steeling himself for the
inevitable. "Hello, Saibra."

"I haven't seen you in months," she said, approaching the bronzerider
with a good-natured smile. "How are you and Zith?"

He blinked, surprised. Why wasn't she angry at him? He spoke slowly.
"I'm good. Been busy and not a lot of reason to do any traveling your
way." He rubbed Zith's hide slowly as the bronze tilted his head to
peer at Saibra. "He's good too."

"How is your weyrmate, what's her name...." Saibra searched her brain
for a second. "Alina? Yes, that's it. How is she?"

J'ackt began to relax. Perhaps things were better than he thought. He
finally offered a bit of a smile. "Yeah, Alina. She's doing really
well. We both are." **Now, at least.** "She's doing some weather
duties now and we've settled in together pretty well. It's working
out. How are things going with you?"

"Oh, everything is fine." Saibra glanced toward the pathway to the
Weyr. "You here to see Saidrene? We can go together."

That put an end to his relaxation and he stiffened just a bit. "No,
I'm not. I'm here to see Timassa. I was about to head home, actually."

The change in his demeanor was notable. "You mean you two haven't made
up yet?" Saibra hadn't known Saidrene and J'ackt to stay miffed at one
another for very long, if at all, in the past.

Jaw setting, J'ackt turned away and quickly began to check Zith's
straps, tugging on them lightly. "I haven't spoken to Saidrene in months, so...no. And we're
not likely to." Zith looked down at Saibra, then turned his gaze to
J'ackt, quietly blinking.

"Well, you might possibly have a daughter, they named her Saikera, by
the way. You shouldn't let something like this come between you and
the first friend you ever had."

Facing away from her, J'ackt's back immediately went ram-rod straight
as he went still. His hand tightened on Zith's straps until his
knuckles whitened. "I don't have a daughter, Saibra. The baby's
K'ran's child, not mine. I don't want children and I won't be
involved."

Saibra sighed. "And here I thought Cyradis might have talked a little
sense into you."

He slowly turned to look at her, eyes narrowing. So _she_ had been the
one to talk to Cyradis and had earned him the complete arse-chewing.
He had assumed it was Saidrene. His jaw tensed, then relaxed before he
started to breath slowly and deeply like Bertin had advised him.
"About what exactly? About not telling a woman what to do with her
body? Yeah, I got that lecture and I was wrong about what I said." His
lips thinned. "But it still doesn't mean I'm going to have anything to
do with K'ran and Saidrene's child."

"You don't have to, which is really one of the great things about
living at the Weyr, but you could talk to Saidrene, at least. This
hasn't been easy on her either."

"No." His response was prompt and harsh. "She tried to split Alina and
I up." His grip tightened on the straps, causing Zith to lower his
head a bit. "She didn't give a shaffing feck and still doesn't as far
as I know." His jaw clenched. "I know I fecked up with Alina. I get
that. That was my mistake. But I don't trust many people; I trusted
Saidrene and she flung what I trusted her with back in my face. What
makes you think I'd want to talk to her after that?"

Saibra rolled her eyes. "Oh please, she wasn't trying to break you and
Alina up, not everything is about _you_, you know. You don't always
get to be the victim."

That brought a flare of temper that he struggled to control. "You
weren't there. I'm sure she told you exactly what she wanted you to
hear." He noted that she didn't say a word about any breach of trust;
at least she didn't deny it. "If anyone is, it's Alina. But their
friendship is between them. If Alina wants to forgive her, she can."
He turned back to the straps and Zith lowered himself at a mental
command.

"So Alina can accept the situation and continue to still be friends
with Saidrene, which clearly shows that your weyrmateship is not
endangered, but you're still going to be mad? Because she didn't rush
to tell you and have you berate her for being pregnant?" Saibra didn't
know why it bothered her so much, but it did, perhaps because she was
a mother seeing her child hurting and knowing that if the bronzerider
in front of her would swallow his fat ego and talk to Saidrene the
whole situation could be resolved.

"What part of the whole trust thing did you miss, Saibra?" He spoke
through clenched teeth. "Did that just slip past you or do you just
think it's not important? " It was certainly important to him;
Saidrene had used his emotions as a weapon against him and he was
sharding well sure he wasn't ever going to let her do it again.

"She trusted that you would love her more than her wanting to keep her
baby. And you didn't. So your trust wasn't the only one broken. She
had no expectations of you being a father, but I think she did expect
for you to be her friend. Biologically, if the baby is K'ran's," she
held up a hand, "I know, before you say, it's his no matter what, but
biologically if it is and she had aborted it, what a disservice that
would have done to a man who _did_ want a child. You are mad because
she didn't put your needs, your daddy-issues, above her needs or
K'ran's needs."

For a moment, he paused to consider what she was saying and part of
him relented as he tried to see things from Saidrene's perspective.
Visibly wavering and stepping down to think, it was clear that he was
taking Saibra's words in and mulling them over. And he could indeed
begin to see how she would feel and how betrayed she might have felt
as well. He had loved Saidrene dearly and the separation secretly
pained him deeply. He missed her; but then all of that was promptly
disintegrated by her last words.

He went stiff. "Daddy-issues?" The comment made his temper
immediately flare and he turned to glare at Saibra with real heat.
What she'd said made his own experiences seem as though they were
nothing important. As though every single blow from his father didn't
matter, the turn of beatings and his own mother's death irrelevant. He
felt his blood begin to boil and even Zith had to strain to calm him
before he exploded in a fury. "My father killed my mother, Saibra. I
watched her die. It's more than just _daddy issues_."

Saibra didn't bat an eye. "And if Saidrene had died in childbirth? You
would have let her die thinking you hate her? You couldn't do anything
as a child to help your mother, but you are old enough to do something
now."

Perhaps Bertin's training on controlling his anger had a side benefit.
Instead of exploding in a temper, J'ackt was filled with a sudden
cold clarity as he managed to rein back his impulse to lash out.
Neither Saibra nor Saidrene gave a wherry's arse about how he felt;
unlike K'ran, who'd actually made an effort to attempt to see things
from his point of view, both women were either incapable, or
unwilling, to look beyond their perspective. In the time he'd known
both women, he realized, he'd never heard or seen them apologize or
even acknowledge a mistake either of them had made. They were entirely
focused on how things affected _them_ or how it made _them_ feel.
Saidrene would never admit or acknowledge that she could have handled
things any differently and neither would Saibra. His 'fragile
emotions', what he'd experienced, or how he felt simply didn't occur
to them or mean anything to them unless it was something to mock or
roll their eyes at. Nothing he could say would ever penetrate that
solid stone wall of indifference, so why rage against something he
couldn't change?

Between Zith's influence and his own moment of clarity, his temper
cooled and he was able to respond calmly. "She didn't die." He pointed
out. "And don't use my mam to try to guilt me into doing anything. All
it's going to do is piss me off, Saibra. Maybe, one day, if Saidrene
can admit that she handled this completely the wrong way, we can talk.
But until she can do that, it's not happening. I am fine with saying
sorry for how I reacted, but unless she realizes she fecked up too and
this was more than just my _'issues_', then there's nothing more for
us to talk about." He gripped the straps and as Zith dipped for him
to climb upwards, he swung himself upwards to strap himself in. He
looked down at Saibra for a moment, shaking his head before pulling
his helmet on.

"Maybe she has realized she messed up in the handling of it - but how
would you know since you've been avoiding her like the plague?" Saibra
raised her shoulders in a dismissive shrug and waved a hand as she
departed. "Clear skies, bronzerider."

J'ackt pointed at Saibra, gesturing to her shoulders, as he spoke from
his position on Zith. "For that reason right there, Saibra. Your
daughter is just like you. Dismissive and so certain that she's right
that nothing and no one else matters. I know her well enough to know
that she _doesn't care_ and probably is just fine with me not being
around or never seeing me again because it's all my fault and she did
nothing wrong. She's moved on with K'ran and I honestly hope they
make it work."

**Zith, come on.** The bronze backed up away from the goldrider to
allow room for him to leap into the air with steady wingbeats before
going /between/.

Last updated on the January 14th 2021

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Mama Wher is Fiesty