Ripped At The Seams

Writers: Heather, Miriah, Yvonne
Date Posted: 23rd October 2020

Characters: Saidrene, J'ackt, Alina
Description: J'ackt learns that he might be a father. He doesn't like it.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 2, day 27 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: K'ran

Saidrene

J'ackt

Alina

}:I can contact Zith and tell them that you don't feel well.:{
Ashareth offered as Saidrene paced back and forth, blinking tears from
her eyes and puffing out deep breaths.

**No. It's no use. I've made so many excuses in the last couple of
months that I can't think of something now that would seem even
possible. They're going to find out sooner or later anyway.**

}:Then why are you so upset?:{ the green questioned.

Saidrene turned and stared into her full length mirror, her hands
tugging on the hem of her favorite shirt, which would no longer cover
the swell of her pregnant belly. **I just thought that I would at
least be able to hide it for today.** She had a couple of tunics that
had been altered to fit her changing body but she had not wanted to
wear them, because they just screamed "HEY, I'M PREGNANT" with the way
they were tailored around her baby bump.

}:What's so bad about them knowing you are pregnant?:{

**Ah, short-term dragon memory.** Saidrene thought to herself.
Everyone else who had noticed her pregnancy had been easy to pacify,
because she could say that it was K'ran's. But J'ackt and Alina, they
would know, there was no way they could miss that her pregnancy
aligned with her last mating flight with J'ackt.

}:They just arrived at the Weyrhold.:{

Ripping the too-small shirt off, Saidrene quickly pulled on one of the
maternity ones, gave herself one last look in the mirror, and then
left her weyr to take the small hike over to the Weyrbowl to greet
J'ackt and Alina.

As Zith landed, J'ackt saw the dark haired figure approach; it was
easy to recognize Saidrene simply from her shining hair, but she
seemed to be walking different. Perhaps, he thought, she had a muscle
sprain. He slid down Zith's as he crouched and pulled off his flight
helmet, waiting for Alina to dismount. It was then, as he lifted a
hand to wave to Saidrene, that he noticed the visible rounding of her
abdomen and his hand went still in the air. **What the feck...**

"Happy birthing day!" Alina slid down from Imarith's back and rushed
toward Saidrene to hug her friend. Her eyes went wide as she saw
Saidrene's new look, and she hesitated for a moment. Then she grabbed
Saidrene and gave her a big hug. "Oh my-- is that what I think it
is!?" she asked excitedly.

J'ackt's facial expression was exactly as she had imagined- stunned.
Alina's excitement, however, was a bit surprising. Saidrene had
assumed it would upset the other greenrider to think that J'ackt might
be fathering a child. "It is," she said back with a nervous little
smile. "Surprise, I'm pregnant."

J'ackt slowly approached, his eyes locked on the swelling belly. His
throat worked as his mind raced. She had other men in her life. He had
no reason to think that it was... No. She wouldn't, not knowing how
she felt or what her mother and the Weyr leadership would say about
it. "Surprise is right." His voice sounded a bit strained, even to his
ear. "You didn't say anything." Then he heard himself ask, "How far
along are you?"

"About twelve sevendays." Saidrene answered, meeting his eyes. "So
near the time of my last flight."

"So who is the lucky father?" Alina asked brightly.

J'ackt paled immediately, a sickly green color lining his lips. At
Alina's question, he nearly choked, but covered it by coughing; he
locked eyes with Saidrene, silently begging and hoping that she would
refute his suspicion.

Saidrene tilted her head, eyes narrowing a bit. **She doesn't know he
won my flight!** The realization struck her and for a moment she sort
of just looked between them, unsure of what to do. J'ackt was arguably
the person she was closest to in her life, well, _had_ been before he'd
weyrmated Alina, and Alina was her only girl friend, her best friend,
someone she shared everything with, including J'ackt.

"J'ackt won my flight the last time he was here," she said unable to
bring herself to lie to Alina. "There's a chance though that it is
K'ran's. We were, uh, together a couple of days after Ashareth's
flight." There she'd said it, now there was a weight off of her chest.

Alina's smile froze.

J'ackt spat out a vicious curse, jaw immediately tightening as he ran
a hand over his face. A fierce nausea filled his gut at even the
thought of fathering a child. Any child. Saidrene knew how he felt
about having children, and she'd been advised that if there was even a
chance of bearing his child she should /between/ with it. She'd been
told! No wonder she'd been avoiding him! He would have taken her
/between/ himself if he'd known! "Shaffit, Saidrene."

"Oh." Alina stood stiffly, looking between the two of them. She felt--
nothing. Not a thing. **They lied.** But she knew she would later, and
dreaded it. Her smile was brittle. "K'ran's, you say?"

"Yes, there's a possibility it is his." Saidrene looked back at
J'ackt. "Don't worry, he's claiming it as his. I just thought you two
should know the truth."

"It will be his." He'd have no part of it. He couldn't and wouldn't.
"How could you do this? You know what Cyradis told you. Faranth, why
didn't you just /between/ with it like you did before?" J'ackt rubbed
his hand through his hair, pulling at it slightly. He was in a near
panic; he felt more than saw Alina's reaction and knew in his gut that
Saidrene's surprise announcement would have a backlash that he
couldn't calculate. "Shaffit!" He threw down the carefully wrapped box
he'd brought with him and stalked back to Zith, his whole body shaking
with repressed emotions that he couldn't name.

Saidrene was hot on his heels. "How could _I_ do this? It takes two,
J'ackt! There's a very real chance that this baby is K'ran's and I was
not willing to risk that for your fragile emotions. Sometimes you have
to live with the consequences of your actions."

"What actions?" Alina bent to pick up the package that J'ackt had
dropped. Her hand was shaking. She wished she hadn't said anything--
this was clearly between the two of them. Just as she was.

"I can't choose who Zith chases or when he wins! If I could, he
wouldn't have chased that day!" He shot back. "It takes one," he held
up a single finger, "person to go /between/! And it takes one person
to take the fecking teas!" He looked at Alina, saw the package in her
hand and saw the look on her face. His fists clenched before he
mentally barked at Zith to crouch. The bronze blinked and hurriedly
lowered himself. As J'ackt climbed up, he looked down at Saidrene.
"I'm not coming back. You knew how I felt." He looked over at Alina
and swallowed. "I"m sorry, Alina. I had no idea she'd do this."
Without waiting to put on his helmet, J'ackt had Zith jump into the
air. He didn't /between/ but swung west, great wings sweeping through
the air.

"I guess he forgot that second round of sex after the flight. I guess Zith caused that too." Saidrene bit out angrily, fingers curled into fists as she watched him fly away. How dare he put all the blame on her! From her periphery Saidrene caught sight of Alina and flinched. "Shardit," she put a hand over her eyes. "I'm sorry, Alina."

Alina brushed the dirt from the package. She couldn't look at Saidrene. "What was the point of all this?"

"What?" Saidrene turned to look at her.

Alina's fingers tightened around the package. "You could have said that you _knew_ that K'ran was the father. Or someone else's. But you didn't."

"I didn't want to lie to you, Alina, I thought you already knew that J'ackt had won my flight. I just thought when you two saw me you would both draw the same conclusion. How was I supposed to know that he hadn't told you?" Saidrene's eyebrows raised. "You're going to make this my fault, too?"

"Oh, so Ashareth caused that-- that 'second round of sex'?" They both knew what she and J'ackt had agreed on when they'd weyrmated. More than that, they were _cousins_. And neither of them had cared about any of it. The world started to blur and Alina dashed angrily at the tears, willing them away. Wishing all of it would go away.

"No, I never said that. I've never denied what happened and the part I played in it, but I wasn't alone and I didn't make J'ackt do anything he didn't want to do." Saidrene wiped at the moisture on her cheeks. "You may hate me forever now, but I've never lied to you."

Alina stared at her. Everything she wanted to say built up behind her teeth in a black, raging mass, and the pressure made her nauseous. But the words tangled and what came out was a bitter laugh. She dug a second small, soft packet out of her flight jacket and held both gifts out to Saidrene. "Happy birthingday."

"Alina..." she said as she took the gifts, but whatever she wanted to say to mend things wouldn't come out. What could she say? A part of her had known that this would be the reaction, which was why she had hidden for the past month.

Alina nodded, then put her riding helmet back on and climbed back onto Imairth. Her hands shook as she strapped herself in. Imairth leaped into the sky and disappeared /between/. Alina didn't look back.

Last updated on the November 11th 2020

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Ripped At The Seams