Worrisome

Writers: Devin, Miriah
Date Posted: 30th July 2017

Characters: N'vanik, D'hol
Description: N'vanik confronts D'hol about complaints.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 18 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Jeyme, K'deren

N'vanik

D'hol

}:Mine wants to see yours in his office,:{ Loseth told Yumath.

N'vanik drummed his fingers on the desk. He was _not_ looking forward
to this meeting.

D'hol paused at his office door, cursing softly. He had been ready to
go to his weyr for the evening. He had wondered how long it would take
for N'vanik to call him in to upbraid him about Jeyme. He rubbed his
eyes, wanting to outright refuse, but N'vanik wouldn't see it as an
option. Shaffit, it was none of his business.

}: Mine comes.:{ Yumath replied, his voice carefully neutral.

D'hol made his way to N'vanik's and knocked on the door frame. "Yes?
It's late for a meeting, isn't it?"

Of course D'hol wouldn't be happy about a meeting at the end of the
day, and N'vanik wasn't thrilled about it either. "Late but overdue."
N'vanik tried to keep his voice calm. Snapping at him would only make
things worse. "Have a seat, D'hol."

D'hol took a seat and a breath as well, reminding himself that the
quicker that N'vanik vented at him, the quicker he could leave and do
his best to numb his brain. Keeping a tight lid on his temper, but
feeling already irritable, he inclined his head for N'vanik to begin.

"I've gotten several complaints about you lately. I know riders like
to gripe and your leadership style isn't warm and fuzzy, but this
is... different. And I think we both know why."

That wasn't what he was expecting. D'hol couldn't help but stiffen
just a little. No, his leadership wasn't warm and fuzzy, but it was
efficient, and his wing did extremely well. "They should have come to
me if they had an issue."

"Right, complain to you about you." N'vanik shook his head. "D'hol,
it's not just people saying you're too hard on them, some of your
wingriders are worried about you."

"K'deren knows me well enough to do just that." He had a surprising
amount of faith in his Wingsecond. At the next words, he took a deep
breath and his jaw twitched. "There's no reason to worry. I'll convey
that to them."

"Well _I'm_ worried too. Right now it's not seriously effecting your
performance, but how long until it does?" N'vanik leaned forward
slightly. "How much have you been drinking lately? How little sleep
have you been getting?"

D'hol's eyes narrowed for a moment, the muscles along his jaw
clenching and releasing before he reined in his temper enough to
speak. He had thought he had been discreet, choosing to drink only in
the evening when he had to return to his weyr or when he had to stay
late in his office, which he was finding he was doing more and more
often. "It's not going to affect my wing performance, N'vanik. If it
does, then just retire me and be done with it."

The Weyrleader arched a brow. "Is that what you want?" N'vanik knew
what self-destruction looked like, he knew what it _felt_ like.

D'hol almost glared at the man, then leaned back and shrugged his
shoulders, . "It'll happen eventually. Yumath and I aren't getting
younger. I'll either be retired or we'll die in fall because we can't
move fast enough. But I don't think we're at that point yet." But
privately, at the moment, he didn't quite care.

"You're way too young to retire." Even with the physical demands of
flying 'Fall, the other bronzerider should still have another decade
or two of being active. "If you don't want to lead anymore, I can
arrange that."

D'hol just looked at him for a long moment. Instead of erupting in a
temper as many would have expected from him, he just shook his head
and gave a bitter huff of laughter. "I didn't say that, but do what
you like, N'vanik." He closed his eyes and began rubbing his temple,
feeling the slow pulse of a headache coming on. "You and I both know
that I lead that wing well. But it's your call."

"I won't lie. Part of me would be happy to get rid of you." N'vanik
finally let some of his anger show. "You broke her heart and she took
Dheymin with her. Regardless of which one of us is his father, I still
care about him, and now _you've_ made it harder for me to spend time
with him." N'vanik had been so close to having all his children here
with him.

Those words finally pushed D'hol into showing some of his own temper.
"I'm sure you would. He's my son and I don't get to spend more than
one candlemark a week with him. So don't tell me what I fecking did to
you, N'vanik. I'm more than well aware of what I did." His snarled at
N'vanik openly. "Or are you fecking perfect? Have you never made a
mistake, N'vanik? I don't need mine crammed back in my face any more
than they already are every single day. " He rose. "I'm done here. Do
what you want, N'vanik and then do your celebrating. I don't care."

N'vanik was an inch away from grounding him. Why not, since he
obviously wanted it so bad? "Go see a mindhealer, D'hol. That's not a
request. You either do that or I'm moving you down to wingrider."
K'deren was perfectly capable of leading Cyclone.

D'hol snorted and turned on his heel, leaving the office and shutting
the door violently behind him. He was going back to his weyr and try
to forget that the shaffing meeting ever happened.

Last updated on the September 1st 2017

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Worrisome