A Tiny Step

Writers: AL, Suzee
Date Posted: 10th September 2014

Characters: Zathris, Benani
Description: Benani takes a step forward.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 8, day 25 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Zelanka

Zathris

Benani

Dinner, it seemed such a simple word and a simple concept but tonight
was different than the last few months. Tonight she would have dinner
alone with her husband.

As an exercise suggested by the mind healer Benani had unlocked all
her doors and windows. She'd even opened the connecting door from her
apartment to their shared sitting room. She could see the open door
into Zathris apartment from where she stood but taking that step
across the threshold from her safety zone into the common room was a
little more difficult than she'd imagined. But Camnae chose that
moment to go trotting by her and into the room beyond.

She took one step and then another and smiled at the work her ladies had
been buzzing over all day. Where had they gotten fresh flowers? They
were so lovely and inviting in the candlelight that she took a step
forward and saw that it wasn't them but Zathris.

"However did you get flowers this time of year," she smiled.

"Z'lred." Although he hadn't been the one to actually get them, he
thought the inconvenience it had caused his brother well worth it -
and he was certain the man would agree. Benani was improving -
slowly, yes, and it was still frustrating, but it was better than no
improvement at all. "There are some winter flowers in the garden I
had planted." Though she had seen them since she'd started opening
the windows. "But I thought a touch of Spring was in order."

She smiled radiantly. They were a simple gift and yet they opened a
crack in the shadows that normally enveloped her. "Thank you," she
said softly and put her hand on his arm to lead her to her seat.
"Please also tell your brother how much I appreciate his help." She
leaned forward toward the flowers and took a deep breath. The
fragrance was lovely and transported her to a beautiful spring day.
She let the breath out slowly in a long sigh wanting to keep the
fragrance for just a little while longer.

"I will." If she had only known...but no, she didn't, and Zathris was
going to move on. As much as he cared about Barenziah, Benani was his
life and he shouldn't dwell over something that shouldn't have ever
been. Her smile was sunshine upon his heart and he dared to draw a
little closer. "Look outside." He urged and motioned to the windows
that offered a view into the world beyond.

She followed him to the windows to look out onto the moonlit snow.
"What am I looking for?" She was curious because recently she'd been
contemplating the garden from her own windows almost daily.

"Look. See that pile of stones?" Zathris motioned to the side, just
barely visible from where they were standing.

She peered out the window in the direction he was pointing. Her head
moved several times before she could finally focus where his finger
was pointing. "Oh," she said softly "those weren't there before. What
are they for?"

"A wall." She had mentioned it and Zathris had latched on to the
idea. If it helped her to feel safe enough to go outdoors, then that's
what he would do. "For your garden."

She looked at the stones a moment longer and then turned slowly to
look up at him. Though she was taller than most women she still had to
look up into his eyes. "Thank you," she smiled softly with her eyes
shining. "And not just for the wall." Her eyes teared but she wasn't
sad. She was grateful. She'd been through so very much the last few
months and while her world was frequently clouded right now there was
a moment of clarity. "Thank you for bringing me home." She leaned
forward and put her arms around his waist and her head on his
shoulder.

Zathris inhaled sharply and his hands lifted to automatically hold
her, but paused at her sides. "Is it okay, Benani?" His voice
trembled in its whisper, afraid what the answer might be, wishing the
answer would be something even more intimate but knowing he couldn't
even hope for that. Slowly. Slowly. Rushing her would only make
things worse and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Hold me Zathris," was all she could say in that moment. She was
holding to the hope of healing and the knowledge that he loved her.
She knew she loved him but all the doubts planted in her during her
ordeal had clouded that clarity. She wasn't quite ready for intimacy
but she was quite sure she would be... someday. "It's ok."

He let go of the breath without realising until then that he'd been
holding it. Slowly, carefully, Zathris slipped his arms around her,
but kept his hold loose, afraid she might bolt if he tried to grasp on
to her firmly.

She stood quietly in the circle of his arms for a few moments,
drinking in the firm strength of him. She could depend on that
strength and her fears eased. Finally she pulled her head back and
smiled into his eyes. "This was a good idea Zathris," she said. Then
she went on tiptoe and laid a breath of a kiss on his cheek before
pulling away and going back to the table. "We should eat before the
food gets cold."

"I agree. Cold food doesn't sit well." Unless, of course, it was
_meant_ to be cold. "Let's eat. I'm starved."

She smiled and pulled the covers off the food to reveal one of their
favorite meals. "Aww," she breathed. "Zelanka is a wonder. I have no
idea how she remembers all this." She dished up a slice of the meat,
some tubers, and finger roots glazed in a sweet citron sauce. She
popped one into her mouth and munched for a moment with her eyes
closed in appreciation. "Perfect. Is there wine?"

"Yes. Yes there is." And while it wasn't exactly the sort of
sustenance Zathris deeply craved, he had to admit, a step had been
made.

Last updated on the October 3rd 2014

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A Tiny Step