Aftermath

Writers: Avery, Yvonne
Date Posted: 30th July 2014

Characters: Alina, L'pin
Description: After everything that happened, Alina has a very important question for L'pin
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 2 of Turn 7
Notes: Notes: The Game 12

Alina

Alina was trying, but her heart just wasn't into the music. She lowered her pipes half ways through the love song that L'pin had given her and sighed. "L'pin, how holdbred am I?"

Now there was a loaded question. "Are you being bothered by the criticisms of others?"

She shot him a black look. "That wasn't what I asked."

"I know. But I'm not sure the question you asked me is the one that you really are concerned about," he told her. Shifting in the chair, he realized this was going to be a long discussion.

"To answer what you asked, from what I've seen, you are one of the Candidates who cling most strongly to the values of the holds. I certainly haven't heard reports of you over-indulging in drink and debauchery," he said.

Her lips compressed into a thin line. Candidates who 'cling' to hold values, as if she were a child clinging to a rag doll. "And what is so wrong with that?"

"That depends on who you ask. For the weyrbred, hold values are as unusual to them as theirs are to you. Both sets of values are born of necessity. Weyrbred must be more accepting of casual sex because of the demands of being a dragonrider. Keeping women at home and with child saved the population of the holds. But when you mix them together, there is hurt feeling and misunderstanding on both sides, as people feel threatened by the fact that what they think is right is considered wrong."

At that, Alina snorted. "Fine-- dragonmen have to sleep around. But don't try to tell me that they, or anyone else here, feels threatened. Now that Thread's back the dragonmen can do whatever they want, and they know it and make sure that everyone knows it too. But even before that-- they're all hypocrites, talking non-stop about how much freedom there is while doing their best to make sure that everyone dresses and acts just like they do."

"I think you're wrong that there's no reason for them to be threatened. Consider this: when the women of the Weyr, who are used to being able to decide about their lovers and their pregnancies, see holder women - they worry that those will be taken away from them. Men like myself, who know that they ride green or blue, we worry about being beaten or worse. The fact is, holder life doesn't allow for such variances from the norm."

But that was cool logic, and the upset in her words was emotional. And concerning - what was upsetting her so? "If someone's pressuring you into anything you don't want, that's not moral."

"You make the Holds sound like monsters, and we're not!" Alina shook her head. Her mouth wouldn't stop, and every ugly thing she'd been thinking over the months she'd been at Dolphin Cove seemed to be spilling out. A part of her was horrified-- L'pin had always been good to her and didn't deserve to see her at her worst. But another part of her was relieved. "For every holder who beats his wife or daughter, or even his son, there's someone here who is just as awful. Only here, everyone pretends that they're not. Because it's the _Weyr_ and they can do anything. And take anything-- tithes, candidates. Morals. Anything."

"I don't think everyone at the Hold is a monster, and that everyone at the Weyr is infallible. People, in general, can be selfish, and cruel. It just looks differently." He wondered how to get through to her.

"What behaviors here do you think are as awful?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. I'm _holdbred_." Her fingers tightened around her pipes. "That's been made abundantly clear ever since I got here."

"Do you want to leave the Weyr?" he asked softly. He could arrange that for her. It wasn't fair to keep the candidates who didn't want to be there.

Where would she go? Home, to shame her family and tarnish her father's sense of honor? To a strange Hold or Crafthall where she knew nobody and everyone knew that she'd lived at the Weyr? That was no sort of future. Alina shook her head. "No. I just--" Wanted something impossible: to have things go back to the way they were, when she and her twin were together and had the whole of Pern at their feet. She sighed, the guilt at what she'd said suddenly rising to the top of her mind. Burdens were to be carried alone. "I'm sorry, L'pin. I shouldn't have burdened you."

"It's not a burden. My job is to be here for you - and you're my favorite candidate," he confessed with a gentle smile. "If there's anything I can do to help you adjust, I want to do it. It's not good for anyone if you're miserable."

"I'm fine." She sat up straighter, using her posture like armor. "But I do want you to show me the way the bridge is supposed to be played again. I keep forgetting."

He would respect her feelings and not push her on the subject. But that didn't mean he didn't feel a twinge inside at not being able to do more for her. Reaching for his own pipes, he said, "Like this," and played it for her.

Last updated on the August 1st 2014

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Aftermath