Tactical Retreat
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 22nd July 2014
Characters: Alina
Description: Alina can't sleep, and comes to a few conclusions about a certain boy named Ervine
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 26 of Turn 7
Notes: Notes: The Game 5
He'd _kissed_ her.
Alina tossed and turned, unhappy in her bed and hating the girls sleeping around her. They snorted, wheezed, and flopped around, and someone was snoring softly. Eventually she gave up, grabbed a light sweater, and crept out of the Candidate's barracks to lose herself in the dark outside.
Ervine had stolen her first kiss. It wasn't _fair_. She didn't even like him that much, and yet she could still feel the press of his lips against hers, and the way her body had lit up like a torch the moment he'd made his intentions clear. She paced through the gardens barefoot until she found a stone to sit on in the shadow of a tree. The air was still and cool, the stars dim beneath the light of the moons. Gently she pressed her fingers against her lips.
The Weyrfolk probably wouldn't read too much into it. A kiss was just a kiss, right? It meant nothing to them. It was just another way that they-- communicated, really. They were always touching. Ervine probably had no idea what a kiss meant to her.
She should have told him 'no' in stronger terms. She shouldn't have gone off with him, or sat next to him on a blanket on the beach. Ervine was probably asleep in his bed, blissfully unaware of the feel of her body against his. He was... what was wrong with her? Or maybe the question was, what was wrong with him? She nibbled her lower lip and wrapped her hands around her knees. He was going to be an Understeward someday. He'd even gone to the Harper Hall for training. That wasn't bad. And he wasn't bad to look at. He'd called her pretty.
**He's a liar.** She stared at Beilor and tried to pick out the pockmarks on its surface. He was Weyrfolk. He was just going to use her and walk away. That's what they did. And sure, it was all right for them. But it _wasn't_ for her. If she kissed someone, she wanted it to mean something. She wanted to fall into a forever love.
This wasn't love. **Isn't it?** Goosebumps raced across her arms as she tentatively explored the memory. The softness of his lips, the strength in his grip, the way her breasts had brushed against his chest-- she shifted uncomfotably in her seat. Maybe she did feel something for him other than dislike. He probably hadn't been peeping at her body like a pervert in the bathing pools. She was probably just over reacting.
Did he even like her? He'd kissed her, but they'd barely talked. Did she like him? She wrapped her arms around herself and tried not to think about the way he'd made her feel. Beautiful. Vulnerable. Used. Chosen. **I should have said no. I should have slapped him.** She bit her lip. Maybe she secretly wanted it. The thought made her feel a little sick. **I should never have gone off with him.** But how could she have gotten away without overreacting and making a scene? The Weyrfolk were always saying 'adjust to our ways or else.' Was this an 'or else'? He'd grabbed her arm and steered her to where he'd wanted her to go. She'd made it pretty clear that she didn't want to spend time with him. Hadn't she? She hadn't really said 'no', but she hadn't said 'yes', either.
Maybe... maybe a kiss _was_ just a kiss. It was more likely that she was just being a silly holdergirl with her head in the clouds. Mooning over something impossible. A kiss meant nothing. Ervine hadn't done anything wrong, not really. He was just being Weyrfolk. And she hadn't fought hard enough, so this whole situation was her fault.
And she did want to get married someday. Why not Ervine, if he'd have her? There were worse choices out there. Maybe he did want the same things she did. He'd been at the Harper Hall for a turn, maybe he'd changed too. The Holds were just as stubborn about making people do things their way as the Weyr was. She sighed, suddenly seeing the appeal of an arranged marriage. There was none of this stupid dancing around or second guessing people's intentions. **Maybe I should just ask him.**
What would it be like to be Ervine's wife? Would he take care of her? Would he cherish her, be proud of her, be a good father? **I barely know him...** But most marriages were arranged between people who didn't know each other. Did Weyrfolk ever marry? **I have to talk to him,** she decided. **I can't do this. I don't know what he wants. I don't know what _I_ want.**
Except to be able to sleep. She sighed and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. It was going to be a long night.
Last updated on the July 28th 2014