I'm Sorry

Writers: AL, Suzee
Date Posted: 13th July 2014

Characters: Zathris, Benani, Triel (NPC)
Description: Benani reacts badly to Zathris in her bed.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 7, day 28 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Barenziah, Crolarin

Zathris

Benani

The darkness was broken by a single light, left on thanks to the
terrors inflicted by the harper who still infested Benani's dreams.
Despite it, Zathris had learned to go to sleep, though he was woken
every time she awoke, usually in a panic. That night was better than
most, longer periods of slumber allowing for a more restful sleep.
Despite all the events and changes, Benani had been in his bed more
than she hadn't over the turns. In the middle of darkest part before
the dawn, he shifted and turned. A part of his mind awoke, though
barely, and automatically his arm shifted to curl over the warmth
beside him.

As soon as his arm touched her Benani was awake but not fully
conscious. She froze in terror and didn't make a single sound. Her
heart was beating so fast it threatened to leap from her chest and she
tried to force the panic down. She expected immanent assault.

but after a few moments she looked down to see the hand that held her
wore a heavy ring, one she recognized. Holding her breath she looked
over her shoulder to confirm that it was Zathris and he was a sleep.

Moving as slowly as she could she tried to slip out from under his arm
and off the edge of the bed.

In his sleep, Zathris shifted, his arm curling to tighten his hold
around the warm body that tried to ease away from him.

At that she panicked and began to struggle "No," she said under her
breath and then more loudly, "No I... I... can't." She began to cry,
"Please let me go."

Zathris' eyes flew open and he released his wife, then sat up straight
in bed. "Benani? Benani, what's wrong?" What was right? He didn't
have to ask that question, he knew that the problem was and that
problem was still free. That problem haunted his Lady. "Hey, it's
okay. Calm down." His arms reached for her, an automatic reaction in
an attempt to comfort.

Benani reacted purely on instinct and threw herself off the bed and
onto the floor. "I can't," she said as she backed up against the wall
on her side of the bed. Flashbacks to her imprisonment flooded her
body with the need to flee even as her mind tried to tell her that
this was her true husband.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said all the while preparing to run and
holding a hand out as if to push him away if he came closer. Her eyes
were wide with fear.

At her rejection, Zathris let his arms drop to his side. Anger welled
up, the fire far from being cooled. Crolarin had done this. He'd
taken away his wife, and though she had returned, they were still
apart. Though he desired her, she wouldn't even let him so much as
hold her for the sake of holding her. "Do you want me to get
Barenziah? Or Yanley?" He murmured as he attempted to still his
voice so his anger did not show through. She was not the cause of his
displeasure, just the monster who had damaged her. "I'm not going to
touch you, Benani. You just tell me what you need."

"No no, I..." she didn't quite know what to say to him. Some part of
her brain knew Zathris would never hurt her yet she also panicked when
a man any man touched her. "Isn't Yanley gone back to the Weyr," she
asked timidly.

"Oh." In his sleep-fogged mind, Zathris hadn't thought of that fact.
She had gone, yes, and he was trying desperately to think clearly and
wake up fully. "I can ask her to visit again if you like. Do you
want me to get Barenziah, Triel, or Elida?"

"Triel, please?"

"Okay." The fog still hadn't completely cleared, but Zathris had
enough presence of mind to slip out of bed on the opposite side. He
grabbed his robe and threw it around him before disappearing. The
women assigned to Benani took shifts, generally, but all had been
assigned chambers on the same hall as the Lord and Lady, to keep them
accessible to Benani even in the middle of the night. This made it
convenient for Zathris as he sprinted down the hall to Triel's room.

He returned but a moment, Triel in her own robe who approached Benani
slowly, her low voice soft, and soothing. "My lady. My lady, it's
Triel. It's all right." She didn't touch her, simply reached out a
hand and allowed Benani to choose whether or not she'd accept the
gesture. Zathris stood by, his expression betraying his feeling of
uselessness.

Benani took the serving woman's hand and then stepped forward from the
wall and wrapped her arms around Triel though her wide eyes stayed on
Zathris. She trembled and tried to let go of the fear that had clamped
it's hold on her. "I'm sorry," she whispered over and over.

"It's okay." Well, it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay at all, but it
wasn't Benani's fault. Zathris ran a hand through his hair. "I'll
sleep in the other room." There had always been separate quarters for
Lord and Lady, but Zathris and Benani never really used them. The
other room was kept ready by the staff, however, so it was there
Zathris retreated in an attempt to finish the night. The silence
greeted him without warmth, and as he lowered himself on to the bed,
he found his eyes wide open, staring at the canopy above him. Sleep
refused to grant him rest, and allowed him to stew in the fierce anger
that welled up within.

Last updated on the July 14th 2014

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I'm Sorry