"Saving the Future While Killing the Present"

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 20th May 2014

Characters: Saidrene, Saibra
Description: Saidrene has a heartbreaking decision to make and goes to her mother for help and advice.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 19 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Jenackt

Saidrene

Saibra

Saidrene's fingers trembled as she opened the door to her mother's
weyr. She hadn't stayed there lately, preferring to stay in the
Candidate Barracks with her peers, which was what was encouraged
anyway. Still, there were certain moments in a young girl's life when
only a mother could help. Saibra was an unconventional mother, even
Saidrene could see that, but still, her mother had always been there
with open arms when she was needed.

Already she could imagine what the look on her mother's face would be
like.... **"You are a weyrbred child! You know better!"** She would
say, Saidrene was sure.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, her heart slammed in her
chest, before slithering down to hide in her stomach as she came into
the Weyr to find her mother lounging casually on the couch. The
Weyrwoman's Second had a book in one hand and a glass of wine in the
other, her long black hair pulled over her shoulder in a casual, messy
knot.

"Mom?"

Saibra didn't look up at first, but gave an absent-minded, "Uh huh?"

"I need to... Can we talk?"

The tone of voice sent off a little red flag in the back of Saibra's
mind and her eyes flew up from her book to her daughter's face. The
first guilty thought that crossed Saibra's mind was, **She's found out
about me and Jenackt.**

"Of course," Saibra patted the space on the couch beside of her, "come
here and talk to me."

Saidrene licked her lips as she walked over and sat down beside of her
mother. She was unable to look at her mother's face. Instead she
stared off into the fireplace, unsure of how to start.

"Talk to me Saidrene." Saibra reached out, took her daughter's chin,
and turned her head so that they were looking eye-to-eye.

"Mom..." a whimper broke through, tears glistening down her cheeks.

Saibra cupped her daughter's face in her hands, swiping at tears with
her thumbs, "What is it baby? Tell me."

"I am pregnant." Saidrene's breath came out in a pent up shudder.

A bit of relief trickled through Saibra, relieved to know that this
wasn't about her somewhat unconventional relationship with Jenackt.
And yet, this wasn't exactly the kind of news that Saibra had expected
to hear from her daughter either. Saibra had known that Saidrene and
Jenackt were fooling around but she knew that she had taught Saidrene
about using teas.

"Did you plan this?" Saibra asked first.

Saidrene sniffled and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as more
tears came out.

"Have you told Jenackt?" Saibra asked second.

The teenager shook her head, the mention of Jenackt's name bringing
another fresh wave of salty tears. Saidrene had made the healer swear
not to say anything to anyone, even though they were suppose to
maintain patient confidentiality anyway.

"What about teas, Saidrene? You know you are suppose to take them
regularly if you are having sex." Saibra was mostly shocked that
Saidrene had allowed herself to be put into this situation.

"I h-hadn't," Saidrene spoke around watery sobs, "started t-taking
them when Jenackt and I first had sex during Panitath's f-flight."

**She's just a teenager, Saibra. They make mistakes.** Saibra could
hear her deceased weyrmate's voice in her mind as if he were in the
room. K'fel would have handled this very calmly. Somehow he had always
been the more nurturing parent between the two of them.

"Shhhh, come here." Saibra wrapped her arms around her daughter,
enveloping her in a mother's embrace.

Saidrene tucked her face into her mother's neck, reveling in the
comfort that only a mother could bring. At least some of the pressure
was gone from her chest now that she had told someone.

"Do you still want to be a dragonhealer?" Saibra asked suddenly.

"Y-yes." Saidrene murmured against her mother's neck, confused by the
random question.

"To continue moving up in rank you know you have to Impress." Saibra
told her, waiting for her daughter's reply.

"I know." Saidrene pulled back, trying to gauge her mother's intent.

"Impression is not guaranteed, but the more you Stand the better
chance you have. Panitath's Hatching is not too far in the future. You
can't be pregnant and Stand." Saibra knew it may have seemed cold, or
harsh, but it was the simple truth of the matter.

Saidrene licked her lips, "You are saying... I should go /between/?"

Saibra reached out and cupped Saidrene's face once more, "I am saying
that you need to decide what you want to do. You are seventeen and
there is so much more ahead of you than just being a lower caverns
worker with a bunch of snotty-nosed kids."

Hurt flickered across Saidrene's face, "But this is mine and Jenackt's
_baby_, Mother. Your grandchild. I could have the child and then still
have plenty of time to Stand again."

The goldrider's hands moved from Saidrene's face to grip her shoulders
tightly, "But what if your lifemate is on the Hatching Sands _this_
time. Besides, do you really think Jenackt is going to stop what he is
doing to be a father? What happens when he Impresses and you are left
behind in the creche tending a baby while he's off sleeping around
with other women? Hm? Then how will you feel?"

**The hypocrisy just gets thicker.** A snide voice sounded in the back
of Saibra's mind, sounding an awful lot like her conscience.

Saidrene's mouth opened to speak, and then she snapped it shut, her
mind whirling with the picture that her mother painted for her. She
knew it was true. She had already heard of Jenackt sleeping with
kitchen workers, heck, sometimes two at a time. What in the world
would make him stop any of that to help her? If anything a baby would
probably deter that even more. He didn't love her, she knew that much,
they were just having fun. Why ruin her future for that?

"You are right." Saidrene finally whispered, although it felt as if
someone had a cold hand wrapped tightly around her stomach. The
thought that she was killing something she had created with Jenackt
still made her want to throw-up, no matter how logical it was.

"Come. We can take care of it now, Chioneth still has her riding
straps on from earlier." Saibra stood, determined that they should
solve this problem quickly and then move forward and not look back.

Saidrene stood, her eyebrows raised, "R-right now? Shouldn't I tell Jenackt?"

Saibra whirled around, "Why? What good would it do? You still plan on
hanging around him, don't you? If you tell him this he is going to
think that he can't trust you to take your teas like you are suppose
to. It is best not to tell him anything."

Her mother seemed to be making so much sense that Saidrene just nodded
numbly, "You are right." She gathered her courage, "Okay, let's go."

~*~

Saidrene had flown with her mother on Chioneth on multiple ocassions
and she always enjoyed the thrill of being in the air, especially when
she was atop a beast as glorious as her mother's golden lifemate.
Tonight, however, there was no enjoyment in the cool, twilight air
that made her hair curl around her neck.

She sat in front of her mother, with Saibra's arms wrapped tightly
around her waist, cradling her slightly smaller frame. They were
already the same height, but birthing two children into the world had
padded Saibra's body with ample curves that Saidrene lacked.

"Ready?" Saibra asked in Saidrene's ear.

Saidrene felt her mother's hand on hers, and she clung to it for dear
life as she clenched her eyes shut, "Yes."

And then Chioneth blinked /between/.

Last updated on the June 2nd 2014

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"Saving the Future While Killing the Present"