I Need To Go Home

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 5th May 2014

Characters: Bahji, D'arvn
Description: Bahji gets a much needed ride
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 6, day 12 of Turn 7
Notes: Follows How Could You; Mentioned: Riveenata, K'lvin, E'rae

D'arvn

Hidden away in her room, Bahji slowly began to pack a bag. With
everything that had occurred, more than anything, she wanted, no
_needed_ her mother. It would not do this time just to ask her mother
to visit. The loss of her children ate at her. Despite K'lvin's
reasoning, she couldn't bear to hear his voice or to smell him or any
rider for that matter. But she couldn't go home by herself. She needed
help. She would not ask K'lvin; she didn't even want to speak to him.
She was so angry at the man, so heartbroken over his actions and
feeling so betrayed, she would be happy if she never heard his voice
again.

She rubbed at welling tears and brushed them away. She'd cried too
much already. Cried over her first unborn child, cried over E'rae,
cried over the loss of her next unborn children and then over K'lvin.
She was _tired_ of weeping. It seemed as though that was all she did.
She just wanted to get away. Away from riders, away from people who
said or acted like they cared and then purposefully hurt her.

She was lucky in that she knew a couple of riders who she did trust
who might help her. Turning her attention to Burst, she spoke quietly.
"Burst, can you go to D'arvn and get him to come here, please?" Burst
chirruped and sent an affirmative before leaping into the air and
disappearing.

The sudden appearance of Burst had him concerned at first but the
obvious agitation made him drop the shirt he was embroidering and get
up to follow the flit. When he finally got to the room and got a look
at Bahji. "Honey what's going on," he said.

She didn't turn to him at first but spoke quickly. "I need a favor,
D'arvn...if you can." She turned to face him, and her tear streaked
face was obvious. "I need to go home."

"Oh sweetie come here," he opened his arms and wrapped her in a warm
hug. "Of course I can. Want to tell me what's wrong?"

Bahji was stiff, not expecting the hug, but relaxed in on a moment.
She swallowed. **I won't cry any more. I won't.** she rested her brow
against his shoulder, her fingers winding against his shirt. "My
babies. I had two inside me,D'arvn." She took a shuddering breath. "I
wanted them, but K'lvin he..." She shook her head. "He took me
/between/, D'arvn. He killed them."

"Oh Faranth," he swore, "I'm so sorry Bahji." He didn't even try to
pull away but held her gently.

She closed her eyes tighter, breathing in deeply. She didn't want to
cry, but there was a tear that burned her eyes refusing to be stifled
by her stubborn will. "He..he said it was better that I live and not
them. That I wasn't healthy enough. But he knew what I wanted. I
wanted to try. And he just took me /between/. He didn't even warn me."
She buried her face into his shoulder. "I don't want to be here any
more. I want to go home. I don't care if all I ever do is mend nets. I
don't want to smell dragons, or hear them or have any man touch me and
make me pregnant ever again. "

"But are you sure you want to go back to the Hold?" He knew how
difficult things could be for a woman come back from the Weyr even if
she were sighted.

"I don't care." She replied softly. "I just don't care. I can mend
nets for marks if I have to. I'll take care of my parents. I just
can't stay here anymore. Not right now."

"Alright," he said and stepped back with his hands on her upper arms.
"But if you want to come back or just want to talk, send Burst to find
me and I'll come. Are you almost ready? I'll need to get Falzeth's
straps on."

She nodded slowly. Riveenata had helped her pack and she believed that
she hadn't left anything. She hadn't said goodbye to K'lvin, but she
hadn't said good bye to many of her other friends either. She just
couldn't bear it. "I'm ready."

He left her there for a moment and ran to his weyr to get his blue all
ready and grab his flying gear. Then he was back and reached for her
hand. "This way dear."

He took his hand and carefully lifted her pack. "Thank you, D'arvn.
I'm sorry to have to ask this of you."

"Don't worry about me," he said and took the pack. "You'll have the
time you need." He reached for her hand and lead her to Falzeth. "Up
you go," he said putting her hands on the straps. Then he stowed her
bag.

It took her a while to navigate up the straps and as she was buckled
in, she felt an immediate surge of nerves and she shuddered. She would
have to go through that bone chilling blankness again. She hugged
herself tightly and swallowed. She wanted this over with. She inhaled
deeply, smelling the scents of oiled dragon and the faint hint of
firestone and there was a pang of sadness. The Weyr had been her home
and it was hard to leave it. Her hands tightened on the straps. Maybe
she was just overreacting. Maybe she shouldn't leave. She had been
mostly happy. "D'arvn...maybe.." She shook her head. "maybe...I could
come back. When I'm better."

He mounted in front of her and as he buckled in and strapped her to
him he patted her knee. "Just send him and I'll come for you. Now hold
on," he said.

Last updated on the May 13th 2014

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I Need To Go Home