Making a Difficult Choice

Writers: Chelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 9th April 2013

Characters: E'rae, Bahji
Description: Bahji must choose her own fate
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 13, day 27 of Turn 6

Bahji listened to the messenger and couldn?t help but pale as fingers wound
into her skirts. No. No no no no. Her parents couldn?t do this to her. Not
now. She managed to hold herself together enough to thank the young man, but
as soon as he had left, Bahji rose hurriedly and ran for the first person
she thought could possibly help her.

She very nearly lost her way in her distress, but finding the familiar
footing near E?rae?s weyr, she knocked hurriedly on the door. ?E?rae? Are
you there??

"Hmmm?" came the soft reply. He was actually sitting in his comfortable
chair, relaxing for a bit in a pair of shorts after taking a bath. Evening
meal wasn't for a few candlemarks. The warm water had done wonders for his
sore muscles. Getting up, he went to the door to let her in. "What's got you
in a fit Bahji?" It was strange to see her all upset like this. She was
usually so calm. Well until she was screaming his name but..

The moment he opened the door, Bahji burst in and slammed into
E'rae's chest, trembling. Curling her arms up against his chest
and hugged tight to herself, she buried her face against his shoulder.
"I didn't know where to go..."

At first he didn't know what to think and then his mind leapt to the first
conclusion. "Tell me who hurt you and I'll go knock 'em one." His hands
automatically went around the frail little form.

She shook her head, burying her face further into his chest, taking
comfort in his familiar scent and touch. She was desperately trying
not to weep. "It's...it's not that." Her lower lip trembling, she spoke
softly. "My parents...they..they want me to come home." She
swallowed roughly. "They found a man that will take me."
Her arms slid around to clasp at his waist. "If I go home, they'll know..."

"What?" Now that was unexpected and it deflated E'rae. The bluerider
had not foreseen this. "You didn't want to go anyway right?"

"No. No I don't. But, they're expecting me in two sevendays
for a wedding. " There was another rough swallow. "I don't want to leave."

"Well...shells." He led her to the couch and sat her down while he paced and
thought over this problem. He had holder parents so he knew how that was.
"Did you tell them that and see what they said?"

She sat, laying her hands on her lap and slowly shook her head. "I
was so surprised and the messenger just left. I really didn't have
time to really do more than thank him for his message. " Her
voice took on a hint of bitterness. "I guess he wasn't supposed
to wait for a reply. I'm just supposed to go." She took a shuddering
breath. "E'rae...I'm happy here." She brushed at her eyes viciously
to stem beginning tears. "I'm weaving enough to be helpful. I
have more friends than I ever have had. " Her shoulders slumped,
her sparky personality dimmed. "I just don't know what to do now."

"Tell then you don't want to go back. And here's why-at the Weyr people
see more injuries. So people like you who aren't like normal are normal
here. Tell them you are more comfortable." That was obvious besides
the rest.

"Can they make me?" She licked her lips. "Can they make the
Headwoman send me home?"

"I don't know if it would be the Headwoman. Maybe the Weyrleader, and
no one can make him do anything. Plenty of women come here....to stay here
and not go back." That was true enough. Most of them came to the Weyr
to craft.

Sucking in her lower lip nervously, she turned her head towards
E'rae. "Would you help me, E'rae? Can you write a letter for me?"

"Oh? Umm..yes. Hold on." He left her sitting there while he went toward his
desk to gather some things. There were noises as he rummaged through his
things and then walked back. After arranging himself, he was ready. "All
right."

She heard the rustling and slowly took a deep breath. "Dear Mother and
Father," Her lip trembled but she continued. "Your message arrived
this afternoon
and I have spent some time considering my response." Bahji's hands
wound together. "You sent me here to be happy and I have succeeded in
achieving that. I am doing quite well for myself. I know you wish for
me to return home, but even with the considerate match you've made
for me, I wish nothing more than to remain here with the friends
I have made and the knowledge that I am learning. " She bit her
lower lip. "What else do you think I should say?"

He tried to keep up with her but he was no harper. When he was finished,
he considered her words and marshaled his own thoughts. "I think you need
to tell them that you won't be going back-ever-Bahji. You are a weyrwoman
now, not a holder. Or they might try again. They will not understand why you
do not wish to marry otherwise."

She slowly nodded. "Please put that down." She took another breath
and continued to dictate her response. "I hope you understand that
I will not be returning to Sunstone Seahold to take on the life
that is expected of me. I have found my new home and here
I will remain. I no longer desire marriage. I have found my place.
I ask that you respect my wishes with the love that caused you
to send me here." Bahji rubbed at her eyes, feeling the sting
of emerging tears. "Your daughter, Bahji."

It took some time for E'rae to finish it and he found himself responding
emotionally as he did so just as much as she did. This was the changing of
a girl's life. His own daughter, Werenn, was so far from having to meet her
future but it caused him to think about it and then to bring his head up and
see Bahji. She was so very brave. Despite what she had been dealt, she was
doing what she wanted. He only hoped for her that this really was what she
wanted and he somewhat regretted what he had done to put her in this
position. He had helped to force this course upon her. "I....I have it."

Bahji nodded, silent as she ran her hands over her skirt. She gave a
shuddering breath, then crossed her arms over her abdomen. her
voice was whisper-soft. "What if they hate me?"

"My father hates me, but my mother does not. I find it doesn't matter so
much anymore, though. I have my wingmates, my daughter, and my sister
is here. You can make a new family if you wish." **Am I offering something
to her? Surely not. I have nothing to offer her except perhaps children and
that will not do her any good.**

Tears began to slide down her cheeks as she hugged herself. She
felt young, alone and uncertain, despite her desire to remain at the
Weyr. Swallowing roughly, she wiped at her cheeks and nodded.
"How do I send it? I have no firelizard."

"You can send it by a Runner easily. There are some that carry messages.
I can drop it off for you. Who do I address it to?" He had never before
asked her much about her parents and he found himself a little curious.

"Thank you." Bahji continued to wipe at her cheeks and attempted to
pull herself together. Steeling her spine, she closed her eyes and
spoke a little more calmly. "Jitarim is my father, you can
address it to him at Sunstone Seahold."

"Very well." E'rae made a few more scrawls then set the writing desk and
everything aside. Bahji might not be able to see, but she could feel and she
was doing a lot more for herself than most women he knew. Admiring her for
a moment, he then moved forward to pull her into his arms.

Last updated on the April 11th 2013

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Making a Difficult Choice