Honesty

Writers: Ames, Devin
Date Posted: 6th May 2011

Characters: N'vanik, Janani
Description: N'vanik has two things to talk to Janani about.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 22 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentions: Rhosyn, K'sedel

N'vanik

N'vanik knocked on Janani's office door.

"Come in," Janani called and looked up. Her face broke into a smile
when she saw N'vanik standing in her doorway. Standing she moved over
to the more comfortable seating area of her office. "To what do I owe
this visit?" She asked as she gestured for him to come in and join her
in one of the more comfortable chairs.

"Two things," he said as he took a seat. He wasn't looking forward to
this, but he needed to get it over with. He didn't know how she was
going to react.

Well, this was _not_ a social visit it seemed. She could tell from his
expression that this was also not going to be easy, whatever it was.
Either he was upset with her for some reason or he had bad news to
share. She couldn't quite tell which. Straightening her spine a bit
she nodded and looked at him. "Yes?"

"Well, you've probably heard rumors, but I wanted you to hear it
straight from me. I've been seeing Rhosyn." Was Janani the jealous
type?

Janani paused and looked at him. She was actually surprised he was
telling her, even though she already knew this. Unless... She shook
that thought aside for he would _not_ dare to do such a thing after
having won her flight.

"I see," she replied simply, "I have heard such rumors." She leaned
forward and looked at him. "Listen N'vanik, I meant what I said after
the flight. I'm not expecting you to tie yourself to me and I sure as
the shells don't plan to tie myself to just you. We have a job to do
together, if we choose to share more than that," Janani paused and
shrugged, "then that's fine and a perk for us both. But if not, well,"
she looked hard a him, "Then I expect you to do your duty to Dolphin
Cove. I may be new here, but this is my home and my Weyr now and I
will not see it harmed in anyway." She feared he was planning to
resign and leave for River Bluff so he could be with Rhosyn. _That_
would make her angry, for he could have pulled from her flight if that
had been his intention.

"I wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't another Weyrwoman. I
thought that might make a difference, but I'm glad it doesn't. It's
nothing against you, or Dolphin Cove. Rhosyn is interesting, that's
all." He shrugged. "K'sedel doesn't seem to mind so it won't cause
trouble between the Weyrs."

She waved his concerns away. "Then all is well." She paused then
added, "You said there were two things you had come to talk about?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I want to spend the night of the Hatching with you."

"Oh," she remarked, unable to hide her surprise at first. Then her
expression turned into a smile. She might not be jealous, per se, but
she _was_ rather pleased to know that he wanted to be with her when he
clearly had other options available to him. "I think I can handle
that," she replied with a hint of humor in her voice. "You sure do
have a way beneath the furs, N'vanik that I have to admit I rather
enjoy."

"You're not so bad yourself," he said with a smile. "I don't want to
make the same mistakes I did with Trae."

Janani paused at those words. He rarely discussed things about what
had happened between Traelyn and himself. She found herself curious,
though careful with her words.

"Like what, N'vanik? What mistakes? For maybe I can help us to avoid
them as well, if I know what we need to avoid?" Her words were gentle,
inviting. She wanted them to be more than just bedmates. In a way,
Janani hoped that she and N'vanik could become friends of a sort,
share more than just the business goings-on and actually begin to know
and understand one another.

"It would be hard for you to make the same mistakes. I cared about her
more than I care about you." He paused. "Okay, that sounded terrible.
What I mean is, Trae and I were lovers on and off for over a turn
before I won her Flight, and I thought things would be good between
us. For a while it looked like it would be, then she started pushing
me away. And it started at the Hatching feast." Thinking about it
still made him bitter.

Janani had to admit that even though she hadn't expected or intended
him to care for her, his words still hurt. Perhaps it was the simple
delivery with which he said them. She managed to nod her head when he
tried to explain and put on a face that would not reveal how his words
chafed her. She told herself she didn't want anything more with him,
but even still having someone tell her to her face that he did not
care overly much for her was still something hard to take.

"I see," she replied, trying her hardest not to let him see the
emotions that were rolling beneath the surface. **Perhaps if you said
things like _that_ to her that is why she pushed you away,** she mused
silently.

"Me and you, we don't have a history. We get to start fresh. I'm going
to try to be honest with you, and that's still not easy for me. I
don't want this to turn out the way things with Trae did. I don't want
us to stick to business and avoid each other the rest of the time."
N'vanik sighed. Part of him wanted to go back in time and fix whatever
had gone wrong with Trae, and another part of him wanted to forget all
about her and move on. "I just want this to be different."

She was actually beginning to see where he was coming from and
realized that his comment earlier, while rather unthoughtful thrown
out, was not at all what he had intended.

"I think I understand, N'vanik. At least a little better now." She
paused, thinking over her words. "I agree that starting fresh can be a
good thing. That's _why_ I came here. What I got was far more than I
ever expected." She smiled genuinely. "I would like our relationship
to be based in honesty as well, for regardless of whom else we may
have cared about or care about now, we do have to work together." She
tilted her head slightly, "And while I make no promises about how
things between us will go, I know I _would_ like us to have a good
friendship with perks when we both desire it." Janani hoped she had
explained her own thoughts clearly. "And on the note of being honest,"
she leaned forward and winked at him, "you never want to tell a girl
you _don't_ care about her if you want to share her bed," she was
grinning as she said it which she hoped would help him see what she
was getting at.

"Eloquence is not one of my strong suits," he said, smiling back at
her. "Besides I said I didn't care as much, not that I don't care at
all."

"Yes, well, we all have different strengths," Janani replied. "As for
the other," she waved her hand. "No worries. We've many months or more
to become better friends and teammates in leading this Weyr." No
matter how she really felt, she and N'vanik needed a good working
relationship and if they came to care about each other in the process,
all the better.

Last updated on the May 10th 2011

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Honesty