The First Time

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 17th August 2007
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: Talryne, N'vanik
Description: After the admissions of the night before, N'vanik and Talryne talk about what it means.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 5, day 2 of Turn 4

Talryne

N'vanik

Talryne didn't know if N'vanik was actually sleeping or just feigning sleep more successfully than she was when she finally gave up and opened her eyes, shifting onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

He made a low noise and rolled over. "Tal?" he said sleepily.

"Good morning," she replied quietly, turning her head to smile at him.

He returned the smile. "Good morning." He reached over to trail his fingers along her arm. They should probably talk, or something, but he wasn't sure what to say.

She seemed equally uncertain as she caught his hand in hers, twining their fingers together. After a moment she shifted back into his side and closed her eyes. "It's still early. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"It's okay." He fell silent. Then quietly, he asked, "Last night, did that ... change anything?"

"I don't know," she replied just as quietly. "Do you want it to?"

He touched her cheek. "Yes."

Talryne opened her eyes and looked up at him, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "What do you want?"

"I want this to mean more." His fingers ran through her hair. "I want to not be afraid to ... to tell you I love you." He swallowed.

She slid one arm around his waist and let her fingers rub soothingly at his back. "Do you know what you're afraid of?"

"I try hard not to think about it, " he said. "But I think I'm afraid of ...
being vulnerable."

"Oh." The words made her shiver, and she shifted closer to him. "If I knew how to fix that, I wouldn't be such a mess, I guess."

"You're afraid of being vulnerable, too?" It was half question, half statement.

That made her laugh. "Shards, yes. There's only one thing I'm more afraid of."

"What's that?" he asked gently.

She didn't open her eyes, and her fingers dug into his back as she took a deep breath. "Being alone," she finally whispered. "All those men... so many of them. And I can pretend that I was afraid of being vulnerable, or afraid of settling down, but it's not true. I was so terrified of being alone that I threw myself at anyone who might catch me, even if it was just for a few candlemarks."

"Oh." Gathering his courage, he said, "You're not alone anymore, Tal."

Talryne pressed her face into his shoulder as her body relaxed against his, some of the tension leaving her. "I'm not alone," she repeated quietly.
"Thank you."

His arm went around her and they laid quietly for a moment. "The thing I'm most afraid of," he said softly, "is failure. Screwing things up."

"That's okay," she replied, pulling back to look up at him. "You can screw things up as much as you need to, as long as you try to fix them again. Screwing up isn't the same thing as failing."

"They're real close in my mind." He ran a hand through her hair. "And it's pretty ironic, since I try to sabotage my relationships before they get serious."

"I've never _had_ one to sabotage," Talryne admitted. "Not until now. And sometimes I think I'll ruin everything by spending all my time waiting for you to leave."

"Then stop waiting. I don't want to leave, Tal. This is the first--" he cut off.

After a moment she raised a hand to his face, thumb brushing against his cheek. "The first what?" she asked gently.

He took a breath. "The first time I've been in love."

She smiled a little. "Me, too."

"This should be an adventure." He smiled back.

Talryne laughed and leaned up to kiss him gently before biting at his lower lip. "That's a good way of looking at it, I suppose."

One of his fingers traced her jaw. "I think we should start this adventure off right. How bout you?"

Her laugh was lower this time, a soft, sensuous chuckle. "Why, did you have some ideas?"

N'vanik bent to kiss along her collarbone. "Don't I always?"

"Usually..." Her head tilted back a little as her hand slid to his shoulder. "I do love your ideas."

His lips moved lower. "As you've made clear. Even to our neighbors," he teased.

She laughed shamelessly. "Wouldn't be polite not to show my full appreciation of your ideas."

"I'm not quite as vocal," his tongue trailed along her warm skin, "but I hope I've shown at least some of my appreciation for you."

"I believe I've noticed you approving a time or two..." Her body arched up into his touch and she moaned softly. "We don't have to get all gushy and romantic all the time now, do we? Because that would be a little depressing."

"No. Just a little, now and then." His teeth closed on her gently.

She made a highly approving noise as her hand came up to tangle in his hair. "I think that's very romantic," she offered breathlessly.

"Hmmm ..." He caressed her thigh. "Maybe we can be romantic all the time, just in our own way."

Talryne lifted her head to look at him, eyes bright. "Why not. Who gets to decide what's romantic, anyway?"

"We do." N'vanik kissed her. "Right now."

She returned the kiss and then leaned up so she could whisper a shockingly salacious suggestion in his ear. "I think that would be _very_ romantic."

His eyes went wide. "I think I might get vocal this time."

"I think I might like that," she replied with a smile, pulling his body to hers.

"You're so romantic," he murmured in her ear.

"Just wait," she replied with a low laugh as her hands slipped down his back. "I'm going to get so romantic you may not be able to walk."

He made a deep, pleased sound. "Then I won't have to go to drills, and I can stay here _all_ day."

"No, you most certainly can not," she retorted, nipping at his ear. "Or if you do so, it will be without my company. Remember? I'm an _apprentice_ now. With duties!"

"Maybe I'll make sure _you_ can't walk. Then you'll be stuck here with me." He kissed along her neck.

"How terribly irresponsible of us both..." She wiggled around, pressing her back against his chest. "Perhaps I should go back to sleep instead."

"No." His hand slid between her legs. "We just can't break each other until the restday."

"Oh--" Her voice grew a little breathless as she shifted against him again. "I suppose I'll listen to you, just this once..."

His tongue traced her ear. "Now, about that idea of yours ..." He laughed low. "Let's see if we can wake up our neighbors."

Last updated on the October 20th 2008

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