Sharing and Selfishness

Writers: Devin, Dana
Date Posted: 21st July 2008

Characters: Traelyn, N'vanik
Description: Trae and N'vanik rediscover a part of their relationship
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 11, day 4 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows "I Want"

N'vanik

Replete, Traelyn rested against N'vanik's body, cheek pressed against his chest. The only thing that was keeping her from floating away was his arm, which was still wrapped loosely around her waist. She shifted slightly in his lap, pressing her lips to his skin. Had he come here with this in mind? Had she invited him into her weyr--into her bathing pool--already knowing what would undoubtably happen between them? They had skirted the issue for so long, and now here they were.

"Still want me to scrub your back?" he asked.

She snorted softly, grinning a little. That was the last thing she'd expected him to say to break the silence. "Sure."

He sighed with a hint of regret and pulled away from her. It would have been nice to stay like that, but he'd made the offer. He moved to the edge of the bath and reached for the sweetsand. "I hardly ever do this for someone _after_ sex."

"Since when do we follow the norm?" she asked dryly, gathering her wet hair and draping it over her shoulder.

He chuckled. "Exactly." He put a hand to her back and started to rub in a circular motion.

Folding her arms over her stomach, she sighed, letting the water buoy her and his touch steady her. "That feels good," she muttered, tilting her head to the side so he could get at the side of her neck. As much as she enjoyed the more...well, physical activities, there was something about being held, or stroked, that was almost as satisfying.

He pressed a kiss to her neck before bringing his hand up to wash the spot. As relaxed as he was, and as glad as he was that he'd finally had Trae again, he couldn't help thinking of Talryne. He did this for her, washing her, massaging her. She and Trae were different in many ways, but they both had a fire to them. As much as he might enjoy a docile lower caverns woman, the women he was really attracted to had an inner fire.
Strength, temper, stubbornness -- the same traits he had. And the same vulnerability beneath that fire.

Traelyn let the silence stretch before finally murmuring, "You came here with this in mind." And she didn't mean him helping her wash. "Didn't you?"

"Not specifically."

Idly she coiled a lock of hair around her finger, considering. No matter how many times he reiterated, in his own sometimes silent, sometimes roundabout way, that she wasn't just another lay, a part of her still had trouble believing it. Habit, she supposed. Whenever she was with him, something in her defaulted to a certain frame of mind she'd had at Far Island. It was ridiculous, she knew. There were similarities between them, yes, but N'vanik wasn't U'waki or V'dar or any of those others. What she and N'vanik shared was different--constantly changing so that it was impossible for her to put her finger on it and identify with confidence what it was.

She sighed. Shards, she thought too much. Turning around, she looked up at him, resting her hands carefully on his hips.

He kissed her forehead. "I think about this every time I see you. But this wasn't a plan."

And, looking into his face, searching, she believed him. Traelyn smiled.
"Every time, huh?"

He smiled a little. "Yeah. I just never pushed it. Now that you're with U'kaiah, I thought ..." **You wouldn't want me anymore.** N'vanik shrugged.

"You're with Talryne," she murmured, fingers lightly drifting to his waist.

"She's ... special," he said. "But I'm not monogamous." He was well aware of her drifting hand, but didn't make any move to encourage her. Or discourage her.

"Talryne is special to you....U'kaiah's special to me." She glanced down, watching the streaks of bubbles from the water trail slowly down his skin.
Lifting a finger, she brushed one away. "Seems like I'm not monogamous either....but, shards, N'vanik, I still get jealous."

He blinked. "Of Tal?"

"No," she shook her head quickly. Not of her. She and Talryne had a connection that had surprised Traelyn, and being aware of that connection mingled with the pity she felt... No. She couldn't be jealous of the dragonless young woman. "It was more of a...general comment." She bit her lip. "I'm a hypocrite. I'm not monogamous but I want them for _me_..." N'vanik was the exception. Shards, why was she even telling him this? She hadn't told anyone--not even B'ram. She would never admit it to him. "I'm selfish."

He laughed. "Me, too. About certain things." He brushed a wet strand of hair from her face. "I never cared that you had other men, but I wanted to be the most important."

And just like that, he accepted it. Shards, they really were still much alike. She gave him a hesitant smile. "We've come a long way since then."

"Yes." N'vanik gave a low chuckle. "Now I'm fine with being number two."

She didn't have a reply to that in words. Rising up on her toes, she braced her hands against his chest and pressed her lips to his.

He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. Trae. His Trae, and yet no one's. Bitter fights hadn't kept them apart. Her moving half a continent away hadn't kept them apart. Even being with U'kaiah hadn't made her reject him. It was a relief to know she still wanted him in her life.

Last updated on the July 21st 2008

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Sharing and Selfishness