Honesty

Writers: Devin, Dana
Date Posted: 17th March 2008

Characters: N'vanik, Traelyn
Description: N'vanik and Trae have a rather frank discussion
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 27 of Turn 4

N'vanik

Even after sunset, it was still much warmer at Dolphin Cove than it was at home. Loseth greeted the golden Nyith with his usual respect and hint of flirtation. N'vanik slipped off his bronze's neck, holding a bottle in one hand and undoing his jacket with the other. It wasn't hot, but it felt downright balmy after the freezing weather he'd left behind. "Hey," he said as he stepped into the weyr.

"Hey," she smiled, coming towards him. "I'm glad you could get away for a while."

"I had the afternoon off. Thought I'd come by." And Talryne was having a private lesson with one of the journeyman weavers, so he didn't feel like he was ditching her. "It's been a while."

"I know." She eased down onto the sofa, her dark eyes flickering to his.
"I was kind of surprised when I got your message earlier."

**I notice you never bother to visit _me_.** N'vanik held up the bottle.
"I brought wine."

"Thank Faranth, because I'm out." She gestured for him to sit down as she rose to grab two glasses out of the cabinet. It had been a long time since she had last seen him, but he didn't look any different.
Well...maybe there was a difference in his eyes, but... "How's Talryne doing?"

He couldn't help smiling. "She's good. Did I tell you she's an apprentice weaver now?"

"Is she? That's great news, N'vanik," she smiled back, sitting beside him. "What is she making now?"

He snorted. "The question is, what _isn't_ she making."

She grinned. "Has she made you any clothes?"

"She made this." He held up the end of the bronze colored scarf around his neck. Which reminded him, he was too warm. N'vanik offered Trae the scarf and took off his jacket, hanging it over the arm of the couch.

Traelyn ran her fingers over the fine workmanship, impressed. "This is gorgeous, N'vanik." She looked up at him. "Does she take commissions?"

His eyebrows went up. "Uhh ... I don't know. I suppose I could ask."

"Please do." She handed the scarf back to him. "It won't be often that I'll need something like this here, but it would be nice to have when I visit different places."

"Like Dragonsfall?" He felt that bitterness again.

Her attention sharpened at his tone. "Yeah, Dragonsfall. Or anyplace else I want to go..."

"I know about you and U'kaiah." He said it simply, as if he were talking about the weather.

She wasn't quite sure how to take that. Did he think she owed him an explanation? Because she didn't. "Well..." Traelyn shifted, curling a leg up underneath her. "I guess I'm not surprised that you do. We haven't been keeping it a secret, N'vanik."

"No," he said, trying to sort his thoughts. "And it doesn't bother me, not really. I thought it would, but ..." He shrugged. A few months ago, it would have bothered him. Shards how it would have.

"...But things have changed?"

"Yes." He met her eyes. "But not completely."

"How do you mean?" she asked quietly.

All those visits to Dragonsfall the last few months, and she hadn't bothered to see him once. "I wish I wasn't sharding invisible when I'm not standing in front of you."

Shocked, she stared at him. Then a scowl tightened her face. "My life isn't made up of free time, N'vanik."

"Well, it's good to know I'm not worth five minutes to you."

One pale brow rose. "Don't you think you're being a _bit_ hypocritical here?"

N'vanik seemed to remember that the last few times they'd seen each other, he'd been the one to come see her. Even when she'd stayed at Dragonsfall after the hurricane, he'd been the one to go to her. "And how often do I come to Dolphin Cove? If I came here to visit someone else, I'd take the time to at least say hi to you."

She could feel guilt starting to nag at the back of her mind--and, annoyed, she tried to shove that feeling aside. "Why is this an issue all of a sharding sudden? It's been a Turn and you're finally coming to me with this _now_? Why?" Her dark eyes flashed with temper--defensive temper. "It's because of U'kaiah, isn't it? It's different now that we're together."

His eyes narrowed. "I don't know. You tell me. Was I just there to pass the time until you found something better?"

Was he really that insecure? Shards and shells! "Don't you dare pull that sharding dung on me."

"It's not dung. I want to know. Would you even care if I never saw you again?" He was surprised at how much this bothered him. He'd missed Trae, but this went deeper than he thought.

Traelyn glared at him. "Would you?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation.

Taken aback, she stared at him for a moment. "Why? You...you have Talryne."

"But I don't have many friends."

A strange expression crossed her face, and as her anger began to fade, it turned into a more hesitant, thoughtful one. "You'd consider me a friend?"

"Yeah." He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm not sure what else to call it."

Her smile was wry. "Yeah. It stumps me too." Then she sighed, running her fingers through her hair, nibbling nervously on her lower lip. "Look, N'vanik... I'm--I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." He leaned toward the table to pour himself a glass of wine.

Reaching over, she touched her fingers to his arm. "Next time I'm at Dragonsfall, I'll drop by."

"Ok." He smiled slightly. "Want some?" He tilted the bottle toward her glass.

"Sure."

He poured the wine and handed it to her, taking his own glass and leaning back into the couch. N'vanik was silent for a moment, watching her.

She tilted her head slightly to the side. "What?"

"Does U'kaiah make you happy?"

Traelyn glanced down, feeling rather too vulnerable suddenly to be looking him in the eye. "When I'm with him I'm happy."

That wasn't exactly a straight answer. "Is it the long distance, or is it something else?"

Pushing the image of B'ram out of her head, she shrugged a shoulder, smiling a little. "I won't deny that things...that it would be easier on both of us if we lived in the same Weyr." Well, easier on their relationship. Shards. Traelyn couldn't imagine U'kaiah _and_ B'ram living in the same Weyr together, with her.

He nodded. "It's good that you're going for it anyway. You could have something with him ... more than you could've had with me."

Uncomfortable, she took a sip of her wine. "You have Talryne."

"Even before I had her." He turned away. "I never would have let you in, Trae."

It was ridiculous that his statement hurt her a little. Shards, she should be beyond this now. He was being honest with her, and if she was really honest with herself, she'd know that she wouldn't have let him in too close either. In many ways, he was similar to the bronzeriders she'd had relations with at Far Island. For that alone, she wouldn't have let him in too close. "Because I'm a goldrider."

N'vanik took a long drink. This was one of the most honest conversations they'd ever had. "Because love makes you vulnerable."

Traelyn stared down into her wineglass. How true it was. Faranth, they really were alike. "It does," she agreed quietly. "And once you let them in...you can't keep them out."

He snorted. "But I still try." Being honest with Talryne was easier than it had been with anyone, but he still tried to hold back. It was instinctual. And he worried that one of these days, his instincts and his fears would win out, and he would do something to drive her away.

A wry grin twitched at the corners of her lips as she looked at him over the rim of her glass. "Stubborn bronzerider."

"Yeah." He smiled and took a sip.

Last updated on the March 19th 2008

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Honesty