Not So Bad

Writers: Devin, Vix
Date Posted: 11th September 2007

Characters: N'vanik, Z'kim
Description: N'vanik pays a visit to his friend from Dream's End and shares a surprising bit of news.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 5, day 7 of Turn 4

N'vanik

Z'kim

N'vanik sighed, but his eyes were bright. "I know, I'm terrible at keeping in touch."

Z'kim eyed his friend with a stern expression. "Terrible doesn't _begin_ to describe it."

"Well, I'm here now," N'vanik said with a small, guilty smile.

"And about time!" was the greenrider's retort. "Warroth was very disappointed that Loseth missed her last flight."

"I'm s--" he caught himself and cleared his throat. "I got caught up in stuff and I forgot."

That almost-slip of the tongue did not elude Z'kim. He viewed the bronzerider with curiosity. "That must have been some 'stuff' that you were into."

A smile tugged the corner of N'vanik's mouth. "Yeah. That girl I was taking care of -- Talryne. Well, we aren't _just_ sleeping together anymore."

"Really?" Z'kim gave him a coy look. "So instead of _sleeping_ together, you're now 'sleeping together' in the more adult sense?"

"Yes. And shards is it good." Now he was fully smiling.

"Sex and living together," mused the greenrider. "So the two of you are weyrmated."

"No!" The smile fell and N'vanik paled a little. "She's got her own weyr! We just ... visit a lot, is all."

Z'kim nodded in amusement. "And how often is that?"

Color came back into his cheeks as N'vanik glanced downward. "Every day."

The greenrider chuckled. "It sounds as if you're weyrmates with two weyrs."

Now N'vanik rolled his eyes. "It's not like that."

"Perhaps not, but that's how it seems. And I wonder how many others see it that way?"

"I don't care what they think," N'vanik told him.

"Well, at least that much hasn't changed."

N'vanik snorted and then gave the greenrider a scrutinizing look. "If I tell you something, you have to be serious. No laughing."

Z'kim's expression was one of pure innocence. "Have you ever known me to be that insensitive?"

"I mean it," N'vanik said.

The greenrider replied with every bit of sincerity he could muster. "I won't laugh."

N'vanik looked at his friend warily and then said, "I told her." He hesitated, taking a deep breath. "I told her I loved her."

This was definitely not what Z'kim had been expecting. His mouth opened, then closed again, before he spoke. "You told her. . . Did you just _tell_ her that - or is it true?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," N'vanik said quietly.

"But it's very unlike you to fall for a woman like that. Other people, maybe, but not you."

The bronzerider snorted again. "You're tellin' me. I've spent months telling myself it wasn't true." Abrei had even accused him of it back at the beginning of the turn, and he'd strongly denied it then.

Z'kim shook his head. "Maybe you should tell yourself a little longer. People who fall in love get hurt. Why would you want to do this?"

"I didn't _want_ to! It just happened." He sighed. "And it's really ... not as bad as I thought it'd be."

"Not as bad as you thought it would be? Have you been ill as well?"

N'vanik laughed. "Maybe."

"Then you'd better see a healer and make it quick." The greenrider wagged a finger at his friend. "I've known too many good men who've ruined their lives by saying such things to women."

"What about not so good men?"

"Not so good men don't mean it when they say it."

N'vanik sighed. "You think so?"

"Absolutely," Z'kim told him, nodding with easy certainty. "So now you need to decide whether you really meant it or if you really aren't as bad as you think."

The bronzerider looked down and was quiet for a moment. "I meant it. She brings out the good in me. With her, at least, I'm not so bad."

"I've a feeling that with her you're better than 'not so bad,' N'vanik," the greenrider told him. "I've known for a while that you have a good side, but with her around, perhaps you'll allow more people to see that part of you."

"It does kind of spill over," N'vanik admitted. "But only a little," he added hastily.

"Give it time, my friend. Give it time."

"You think ... you think it's a good thing?" N'vanik asked.

Z'kim regarded him for a moment, gauging whether the bronzerider was ready for what he had to say. Finally, he decided to plunge in. "Yeah, I do. For turns you've cultivated this image of a rotten tailfork who cares about no one but himself, not letting anyone see what lies beneath. I think it's time that you let the real you show himself."

N'vanik was quiet for a long moment. Finally, he said, "It's hard to let go of."

"It may happen whether you want it to or not."

}:Other people will see how good you are. Like I do. Like she does,:{ Loseth commented sleepily.

N'vanik smiled slightly. "Loseth sure likes the idea."

Z'kim shrugged, trying to hold back a smile. "He's probably right."

N'vanik snorted and shook his head. "You're all against me."

"Or all for you - depends on how you look at it."

"Yeah." He smiled again, wider this time. "I'm startin to believe that maybe, just maybe, I'm not so hopeless after all." Out on the ledge, Loseth bugled his encouragement.

Last updated on the September 13th 2007

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Not So Bad