Give it Time

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 19th April 2007
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: U'kaiah, Talryne
Description: U'kaiah and Talryne share a visit, and Talryne finally opens up to U'kaiah for the first time since the accident.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 10 of Turn 4

Talryne

Here, hold still..." With a ball of yarn in one hand and her current project in the other, Talryne rose to her knees and leaned in to measure the hat she was knitting against U'kaiah's head. She wasn't sure her skill was up to knitting a hat yet, but she'd instinctively shied away from the idea of knitting a scarf for U'kaiah like she'd done for N'vanik. U'kaiah ducked his head down so that she could measure properly. "That's a beautiful color."

"Mmmm..." She narrowed her eyes and studied the hat for a moment and then grinned. "You've got a big head, U'kaiah."

"It took you _this_ long to figure that out?" he chuckled, glad to see her smile.

Settling back on her side of the couch, Talryne squinted down at her knitting again. "No, I just never meant it literally before."

"Well, yes, most woman who say that to me don't mean it literally," he nodded. "And even fewer say it so politely."

"Well, it wasn't an insult... I don't think." She glanced up and raised an eyebrow. "Lot of women been telling you that you've got a big head lately?"

"Only all my life. But lately I realized it wasn't always a compliment." After all, what bronzerider _didn't_ have a big head? Talryne's lip quirked up into a faint smile as she looked back down at her project. "Oh, U'kaiah. You are one of the _least_ big-headed bronzeriders I've ever known. And I've known a lot."

"You should have met me _before_ I was a Wingleader. I've just settled down a bit is all."

She knew she should ask him how things were going now that he was settling back in as Wingleader again, but that would require asking about the Wing. She'd managed to find a few safe topics she could manage, but that certainly wasn't one of them yet. "Maybe I could ask Abrei, if she ever comes back here again. I bet she could tell me all sorts of stories."

"Oh, I bet she could," U'kaiah nodded, though he wasn't sure what she would think about some of the stories she could tell. He knew for sure Abrei would kill him if she knew he had slept with her cousin more than in just a Flight. What Tal would think, at this point, he couldn't even venture a guess. "So what other projects are you working on?"

Talryne smiled slightly. "I tried to make myself a sweater with short sleeves... that didn't work so well." She set the hat aside for a moment and reached over the side of the couch. "Well, it _worked_... but I must have counted wrong, because it ended up a bit on the small size." She held up a light blue top that indeed looked as if it would be a _very_
tight fit. "It's not exactly something I want to be wearing out."

"Well, you could model it for me if you like," the bronzerider grinned. He couldn't help flirting at least a little. It was in his nature!

She wrinkled her nose at him and dropped it into his lap. "Maybe _you_
should model it for _me_." Not only would it brighten her day, it might just stretch it out enough so she could wear it.

"Hmmm, is that a challenge?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow slightly.

"And here I thought you'd settled down." She picked the hat back up and let herself smile at him. "I didn't know you liked women's clothing, U'kaiah. How... unique."

"I am quite secure in my intense masculinity. If I was ever in doubt, that bronze lump on my weyr ledge sure confirmed it for me." As soon as he said it he wondered if he shouldn't have mentioned his lifemate. Surely that was a subject that should be avoided. Adding to her pain was the last thing he wanted to do. A distraction from his slip was needed. He jumped up from the couch and turned to face her. "So, you want me to model your sweater, eh little lady? Well..." U'kaiah plastered his best cocky grin on his face. Humming the bawdiest tune he knew, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt in time with the rhythm.

Talryne choked on a startled laugh and threw the sweater at his head.
"You are a sharding idiot, U'kaiah!"

"I may be, but I am a _sexy_ idiot," he grinned, spreading his arms wide and turning slowly so she could appreciate him in all his topless glory.
Of course, she had seen it all before, but he would do anything to keep that smile on her face.

"With a _very_ big head," she retorted, lifting the hat she was knitting up again. "I'm not so sure this will fit after all. I think your head is swelling."

"Well," he snatched the hat and perched it in top of his head, "maybe you can knit me a scarf I can use as a tourniquet. We can't have it spreading, now can we."

She stared at him for a moment, shirtless and adorable and the sort of handsome she'd always loved. She should have felt desire stirring--Faranth knew she'd had enough of it in the past days every time she laid eyes on N'vanik. It had been easy enough to brush off her lack of interest before when she'd been so numb, but now it was different. Now she felt things again--

"Oh, shards..." she whispered, her face going from amused to terrified between one heartbeat and the next. She'd spent so much time worrying that the return of lust would mean walking down the same old road, where she threw herself into the arms of any man who looked half willing to catch her. Now she almost wished it had. "What?" he asked, concerned at her very sudden change. "Did I say something?"

"No, it's not you..." Talryne closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. It shouldn't be surprising. It shouldn't be--but it was. And more than that, it was terrifying. And exhilarating. And _confusing_.
She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. "I'm so confused, U'kaiah. I'm so sharding confused."

"It's all right," he reassured her, slipping down onto the sofa next to her. "Tell me what's confusing you."

The conflicting emotions churned inside her as she leaned into him.
Shards, even the warm skin of his chest under her cheek evoked nothing more than a feeling of comfort. **N'vanik broke me...** It was a silly, petty thought, and she pushed it away. "I don't know what I feel. I can't tell what's normal and what's because... because I was so empty."

"You're not empty, Tal." U'kaiah reached out to her, coaxing her gently closer. "It will be all right."

"Of course I am..." Her eyes stung with tears as she let him pull her into his arms. Being held right now seemed very important. "I'll always be empty. And it means everything feels so different. I'm feeling things now--things I've never felt before. But I don't know what they mean."

"What do you feel then?" He tightened his hold on her and rested his chin on the top of her head, ignoring the tears that dripped onto his skin.

"I feel like I want him." No need to say who he was... U'kaiah was smart enough to figure it out. "And I'm terrified that I'm just so broken that I'll never be capable of wanting him... just needing him and not being able to tell the difference."

U'kaiah wasn't really sure what the difference was himself. Wanting and needing someone sounded pretty much the same to him. Right then, the fact it was N'vanik she was talking about was making him a bit uncomfortable with the thought that she would feel either for the man. But... maybe she just needed _something_ to keep going. Why _him_ of all people, the bronzerider would never understand... "Well, Tal, I don't know if _any_ of us really know. That doesn't mean that you're completely broken. That kind of thing confuses all of us sometimes."

She rubbed at her wet cheeks and sighed. "Do you believe in love, U'kaiah? Not the kind you feel for you friends, but the romantic kind?
Do you think there's really anything there besides affection and lust?"

Oh shards, the tough questions... "I... really don't know," he replied apologetically. "I have thought I was in love before. Maybe I _was_ in love before. But it ended. That's not exactly how the harpers say love is supposed to work. I know I have _felt_ like I was in love before. It's a wonderful feeling."

Talryne finally began to relax, her cheek tucked against his shoulder.
"I suppose it should be comforting, then, that I'm not any more confused than anyone else. All of this emotion makes me feel young and stupid."

"Don't worry about it," he gently chided her, rubbing her back soothingly. "You'll figure out how you feel if you just give it time."

"Time..." She sighed and closed her eyes. U'kaiah's body was warm and his fingers on her back soothing. And as disturbing as she'd found her lack of physical reaction to him, she couldn't deny that there was a certain comfort to be had in being held by someone with no expectations.
She yawned, and her voice sounded sleepy as she let her mind drift.
"I'll give it time..."

Last updated on the April 19th 2007

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Give it Time