What If...?

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 15th October 2006

Characters: Tsaera, F'lin
Description: Tsaera and Felarin play a game of chess and discuss what would happen if Felarin Impressed... or rather, what happens if he _doesn't_
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 13, day 17 of Turn 3

"Checkmate."

Felarin smiled ruefully and leaned away from the table. "Guess you got me again, Grandma." They were enjoying the remains of a light, late dinner and a game of chess which Tsaera had easily won - in some instances, age truly did confer an advantage! Tsaera shrugged and reached for the last grape. "I've been playing a lot, lately. Can't go flying so what else am I to do?"

"Hows Tabanirth?" Felarin asked, hoping to sound casual. Tsaera smiled. "Fine. Broody."

"Ah." The Candidate hesitated, unsure of how best to ask about the thirty-two eggs currently hardening on the Sands. After the Flight it'd been hard to think about anything _but_ his naked, lusty _grandmother_, but then Tabanirth had Clutched, and his mind had been able to dwell on something much, _much_ more pleasurable. And less wrinkly. "And... ah, how are the eggs?"

"Took you long enough." The Weyrwoman smiled and settled back into her chair. The beer in her hand sweated lightly; it had been chilled in cold well water before it had arrived in her weyr. "They're fine, Felarin. Large and well tended, and will be cracking open before you know it."

Felarin swallowed nervously. "Do you.. think I'll Impress this time?"

Tsaera hesitated, then shrugged. "I don't know, 'son," she said gently. "No one knows until its over."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Do you want to?"

"Impress?" Felarin nodded. Memories of the tsunami that took Topaz Sea Hold - and his father - nearly blinded him for a moment. To be able to _do_ something, instead of clinging to whatever floated and helpless in the grip of the tides... "More than anything."

"And if you don't?" Tsaera asked.

"Try again, I guess." "You're almost twenty one, Felarin. You'll be too old soon."

Felarin nodded, staring into the dark over Tsaera's shoulder. The cavern wall was plastered and painted a warm near-gold and hung with tapestries and blankets. Some were gifts, obviously finely woven and shot through with metallic threads that highlighted dragon wings, and some were just as obviously of her own choosing; bold, jewel tones in geometric patterns. Furniture lurked half in and half out of the gloom, illuminated by the few glows that they'd turned on to chase off the night. The door to Tabanirth's couch stood open to let in a breeze but the gold dragon was absent and guarding her Clutch. The Weyr was so, so different from Topaz Sea Hold. Especially now.
Half-rebuilt, half-ruined and waterlogged, struggling to get by.
Watermarks on buildings and seashells found in odd places were a very visible reminder of what had happened, and that was just in the areas that had already been salvaged. But it didn't feel like _home_
anymore, not with his father dead and his mother in an angry stage between grief and letting go. He'd run away to his grandmother's Weyr and found it to be a haven and a relief. He could escape his past, but also his childhood. Aside from Tsaera, no one knew the boy he used to be.. and Tsaera didn't hold that child against him. "Felarin?"

"Hmm?" Felarin started, belatedly embarrassed that he'd allowed himself to get lost in thought. He smiled sheepishly and began gathering up the chess pieces to put back into their box. "Sorry."

"What are you going to do if you don't Impress?" Tsaera asked again.

"I- guess stay here, for now. If you'll let me.

Tsaera snorted. "Of _course_ you can stay here if you want to! You're my family. You're always welcome at River Bluff Weyr."

"I know. But I don't know if I'll stick around forever." Felarin paused, staring at the black Lord Holder in his hand. "I know it sounds dumb, but I need to find somewhere that I _fit_. You know? I want to feel useful."

"You could always go back to Topaz Sea Hold," Tsaera said, mindful of Everlyin's repeated requests that she send her son home to her. But Felarin shook his head. "I don't think I could go back there. Not yet."

"What about your mother?"

He shrugged. "I miss her, but... I just can't go back yet. You know?"

"Felarin, you can do whatever you want to," Tsaera said. She reached over and began helping him put away chess pieces. "Just ask me, and I'll do whatever you need to help out. All right?"

He thought about asking her to send a dragonrider back through time to save his father, but bit his tongue at the last moment.
Dragonriders couldn't save everyone; he didn't expect them to.

But if he Impressed... one man wasn't everyone, was it?

Last updated on the October 16th 2006

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