Guilty Consciences

Writers: Devin, Estelle
Date Posted: 24th October 2026

Characters: R'fal, Z'ku
Description: After Panitath's flight, R'fal finds Z'ku in the dragon infirmary
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 23 of Turn 13

Z'ku

There was one constant in the training of an apprentice dragonhealer, no matter how much progress they made: cleaning the dragons' infirmary and waiting on the patients. The journeyman on duty would make their rounds at set times, but apprentices like R'fal were always ready to fetch water or hide oil, or run errands for worried riders.

Today, the cavern was more crowded than usual, with three bronzes injured during Panitath's mating flight. Isarth was in the worst shape, his torn wing patched up and stretched out to heal, but he was deeply asleep, as was his rider. R'fal left them in peace and moved on to Pryloth, who was drowsing in his couch. He had some bruising and swelling around his eye, but it wasn't otherwise damaged so he would be discharged later. Thankfully his rider was not present. From what R'fal had heard from the rumor mill, L'mel was in a world of trouble with the Weyrleader and he was so snappish and demanding that he'd had a junior journeyman in tears.

R'fal's first instinct, when he'd heard about the last bronze pair, had been relief that he wouldn't have to put up with Z'ku in the Wing for a bit, and though he'd immediately regretted it he'd felt guilty ever since. He approached them cautiously, keeping his voice low in deference to the sleeping dragons. "Wingsecond?" He looked up at Xemroth. "How is he?"

Z'ku frowned. Of course it would be R'fal. "He dislocated a wing joint and it had to be put back in." The bronzerider had shared his dragon's pain as much as he could, as if that could somehow ease the guilt of letting himself get involved in this. He should have known some of them would take things too far . . . and it could have been so much worse.

}:It was not your fault. Panitath refused me.:{ Xemroth was exhausted but his voice still carried the bitterness of that rejection.

**Sleep, dear heart.**

"Is he in any pain?" R'fal asked, feeling worse than ever about his reaction. "I could find the journeyman."

"He's feeling much better," Z'ku said in a distant voice as he kept soothing his dragon. "The numbweed is helping."

The bronze laid his head down. }:I almost had her,:{ he said as he settled carefully.

"That's good. They said with rest, he should make a full recovery," R'fal offered, doing his best to sound reassuring. He could just leave them, but there was something about Z'ku's manner - or perhaps it was his own guilty conscience - that made him hesitate. "Can I get you anything? Water, or klah...or a book..."

As Xemroth's eyelids began to droop, Z'ku looked over at his wingrider. He didn't want anything from R'fal. He didn't want to be around anyone right now, except maybe his family. But R'fal was offering and Z'ku didn't want to leave his dragon. "Klah. Please."

"Of course. I'll be right back." There was always hot water on the hearth near the cavern entrance, and klah bark. R'fal prepared a fresh pot, silently speaking with Marlath as he did so.

}:Xemroth is very tired, but no bad pain,:{ the brown reported. }:He will sleep soon.:{

**Do you know...** R'fal wondered what had really happened up there. Some people were saying that a bronze had tried to push Loseth out of the race, or maybe more than one. It was hard to imagine Z'ku doing anything like that, though, after he'd given R'fal a hard time just for being related to a troublemaker. The flare of resentment was quickly suppressed, and besides he didn't want to disturb Xemroth by asking. **Never mind.**

He collected a couple of mugs and the warmed klah jug and returned to the bronze pair, placing them on a low table beside the dragon's couch. "Here. How do you like it - milk? Sweetener?"

"A bit of sweetener, please." Z'ku stroked Xemroth's head, trying to wall off his feelings of guilt until the bronze was asleep.

R'fal poured the klah. "Here." He hesitated, then made himself a half-mug as well, reasoning he'd need the energy for classes later. After an awkward silence, he spoke again. "And - everything's all right with you? You've seen a healer? Only I heard M'gan collapsed when Isarth was hurt, so..."

"I'm fine." Z'ku took a sip of klah, the warmth and flavor grounding him a little. M'gan. Why had Z'ku sided with him and the other bronzeriders against N'vanik? Yes, he was very upset at the Weyrleader for revealing the secret of going /between/ times to the blue and greenriders, and Z'ku had told himself that was one step too far among N'vanik's controversial choices.

But another part of him was uncomfortably aware of how often he thought of N'vanik's shocking kiss with that male greenrider, those scandalous dances. How no bronzerider, much less a Weyrleader, should be doing things like that with a man.

Z'ku had let that cloud his judgment. And _this_ is where it had led.

"Good. If there's anything else I can do..." It might have been the guilt, or knowing that as much as he resented Z'ku blaming him for his father's misdeeds, the bronzerider had actually been right about Terren, but he found himself trying again. "I expect you and Xemroth want to rest now, but if you need me to bring over the notes from the wing meeting, or want to play chess or cards...some dragonpairs find it helps to distract themselves, so they don't spiral." He wondered what in the name of the First Egg he was doing. Most likely Z'ku would tell him he was forgetting his place, and then he could go back to disliking his Wingsecond with a clear conscience.

The bronzerider felt a flare of anger, but he pushed it down. Much as he disliked R'fal, he was a _dragonhealer_, and Z'ku shouldn't begrudge the man offering to keep him occupied while his dragon was injured. Besides, Z'ku's anger wasn't really directed at the brownrider. He was angry at himself. "Thank you for the offer."

"Okay. See you how feel tomorrow." R'fal wondered if Z'ku felt as unenthusiastic about that idea as he did. If so, he'd done his duty and made the offer and they could forget about it, although there might have been some satisfaction in cleaning him out of his marks at dragonpoker.

Before leaving, he looked up at the drowsy bronze. "I hope he feels better soon." He could be sincere about that, at least.

"Thank you," Z'ku muttered automatically. He took another sip of klah as he felt Xemroth drift off to sleep.

Last updated on the October 27th 2026

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Guilty Consciences