One Day at a Time

Writers: Devin, Yvonne
Date Posted: 30th April 2025

Characters: N'vanik, J'nus
Description: N'vanik offers J'nus support and some advice.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 2, day 9 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: Kapera, Talryne D'hol, Zaverin
Notes: Follows 'BLW: There's Still a Life Left to Live'

N'vanik

After leaving Kapera in the infirmary, there was one more person N'vanik wanted to check on.

}:Kopth, mine wants to speak with yours,:{ Loseth said, his voice softer than usual. }:Can you tell me where he is?:{

There was a long pause. }:He is in the Dining Cavern,:{ Kopth said slowly. The bronze dragon's mindvoice was weighed down by days worth of worry. }:He says that yours may join him, if he wishes.:{

N'vanik made his way there and found his fellow bronzerider. "Hey, J'nus. Tal and I came to see Kapra, and I wanted to talk to you, too."

The Wingleader looked up from his plate and managed a tired smile. "Hello, Weyrleader. It's a good day today."

"Better than last time I was here, for sure." N'vanik sat next to him. "Kapera sounds like she might try to stay a little longer."

"I hope so." J'nus pushed the bit of bread in his hand around his plate as he tried not to think about tomorrow, or the next day. Now was all he could hope for. "She's on a lot of fellis."

"Yeah, it's like that in the early days." N'vanik considered how to approach this. "You've got a strong bond, and that's an advantage."

"You and Talryne... she wasn't your weyrmate when it happened, was she?" J'nus asked. He should remember-- he'd been N'vanik's Wingleader at the time, but thinking of anything beyond the last few days was a struggle.

N'vanik let out a soft laugh. "No. We barely knew each other. We had a few rounds of casual sex and that was it. Everything we have came . . . after."

"That's..." he trailed off, not knowing whether to say that it would have been easier or harder to step into a new relationship as well as a new life without her dragon. It was probably both. He cleared his throat. "I'm glad that it worked out for you both."

It hadn't been that easy. "Because we've been through it, we can help you," N'vanik said. "Taking care of her is gonna . . . probably be the hardest thing you ever do. J'nus . . . you can't lead a Wing while you do this."

"I know. I'll be talking to D'hol soon about that... I just haven't had the chance yet." As much as he loved Skybroom Wing, Kapera needed him more. And he was in no condition to fly Thread. He managed a small, half smile. "Any other advice?"

It was good that J'nus had already thought of that. "_Try_ not to blame yourself," N'vanik said with an understanding smile. "It doesn't do any good."

That was an easy thing to say when you hadn't been there. J'nus looked down at the yellowing bruises on his knuckles and tried to wrench his mind away from that awful moment when he'd walked into his weyr too late, the feel of blood on his hands, or the sudden weightlessness as Zaverin left his grip. The emptiness of the weyr without Riyanth. If he'd gotten there sooner... "Anything else?"

"You won't know from day to day, or even minute to minute, how she's gonna be. She might seem like she's getting better, and then all of a sudden she's panicking or lost in her grief," N'vanik said. The mood swings had been wildly disorienting sometimes. "At least, that's how it was with Tal. Kapera might be different."

"I don't know anyone else who lost their dragon. At least not well," J'nus admitted. "Talryne is... how is she doing now? Really?"

N'vanik took a breath. This whole thing was just so sharding awful. "It's hard. It's bringing up a lot of bad memories." For both of them. "But she's strong. She's . . . she's amazing." His throat grew thick and he had to swallow. "She wants to help Kapera any way she can."

J'nus nodded. "She said that to me too, when she came to visit Kapera before she woke up. I-- we appreciate it." He had no idea what she could do to help, or if Kapera even wanted help. The unknowns were overwhelming, but the offer made the future seem a little less bleak. **One day at a time,** he told himself.

"It's _possible_, J'nus. She can make it out of this, she can have a life. She'll never be the same, but she can be more than a shell of a person." N'vanik's voice lowered. "But you also have to accept that she might not make it, and it won't be anyone's fault. You gotta live with that uncertainty all the time. Those first few months, I kept wondering if I'd come back from drills or 'Fall and she would just be . . ." He choked on the word and had to force it out. "Gone."

"I wonder that every time I leave the room," J'nus said quietly.

"It's gonna be like that for a while," N'vanik said gently. It must be harder for J'nus since he was already in love with Kapera. At first, N'vanik had mostly felt guilty about Tal. "But somehow I was enough to help keep Tal going, and you're a far better man than I was back then. And you love each other. I gotta believe that counts for a lot. She has a good chance."

Everyone kept saying that. Perhaps they even meant it. Today, it felt like it might even be true. He nodded. "I suppose time will tell."

"We can show her the way out of the worst of it, but she's gotta be willing to take our hands," N'vanik said. "We had a good talk up there, and I really think she's going to."

"Good. I'm glad. I-- she needs all the friends she has. Will you and Tal be back soon?" J'nus asked.

N'vanik nodded. "Maybe not tomorrow, but we'll be back in no more than a few days." A'kades could handle things for a few candlemarks.

Hearing that N'vanik was coming back lifted a bit of the weight off J'nus' shoulders. It made him feel a little less alone. "Good. Thank you. I'll look forward to it."

Last updated on the May 1st 2025

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One Day at a Time