The Bad Man

Writers: Aaron, Len
Date Posted: 28th October 2024

Characters: Ç'pier, L'fael
Description: L'fael has been keeping an eye on Ç'pier.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 16 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: N'vanik, R'fal

Ç'pier

Ç'pier was finally done with all of the extra scrubbing and oiling he was doing for his injured classmates, and now with Yuliuth's, too. He was exhausted, as per usual, and he was looking forward to the, oh, five minutes or so he would have to himself for the day. He trudged onward toward the baths to get all the extra oil off of himself.

L’fael had most of the soap off of Sojanth’s bright hide when she began hissing. Her eyes whirled red.

**What’’s up? I think you’re hanging out with the felines too much.** She was beginning to resemble a green angry feline.

}:It’s_him_:{

*Who…?** L’fael looked around and spotted the older weyrling. So that was the bad man, the one who had hurt Saedyna. He found himself straightening up like he expected to have to defend himself.

While Ç'pier continued about his business as though he had not noticed L'fael's reaction, he nevertheless spoke up.

"I'm just passing through," he said.

Sojanth hissed and lunged at C’pier. No one was harming her lifemate!

}:Come now, Sojanth,:{ said Yuliuth. }:That isn't very kind of you. Ç'pier is only going to take a bath. He won't hurt you.:{ The brown paused for a moment to consider how he might convince her of that. }:I will not allow it.:{

**I'm glad I have you here to restrain me,** Ç'pier deadpanned.

}:If she believes you cannot be trusted, then it is better that I appeal to my influence over you than to stand aside and do nothing while she bites you. You will not enjoy it if she does.:{

**No, I don't think I would. But if she took my leg off, I wouldn't have to wash and feed all the other broken kids' dragons anymore, so I would have that going for me.**

}:Or you would, and it would just be that much more difficult for you.:{

}:Your lifemate’s leg is the least I would take off:{ Sojanth hissed, not the least afraid of the bigger brown.

**Fate willing, I would just bleed out, and we could sleep.**

}:I thought you were past those thoughts.:{

**I'm not seeking it out.**

"Look, I'm walking past, all right? Kill me if you must." Ç'pier continued on his way with plenty of clearance.

}:Not seeking it out, are you?:{ Yuliuth was more fretful than he let on, and stood to approach them. Still, if she wanted to attack Ç'pier, he would not be able to reach them in time from where he was. To Sojanth, he said, }:I am glad. I don't want you to be afraid of me.:{

**What are you seeking out?** Despite the situation L’fael couldn’t help but be curious about Yuliuth. Beside him Sojanth growled but sat down.

}:Ah. I forget that you can hear me,:{ said Yuliuth. }:It is a personal thing for Ç'pier. I am sorry we upset your beautiful Sojanth. I thought perhaps I could reassure her, but I understand she has no reason to trust me.:{

**It's not you she doesn't trust.**

}:And she nonetheless is unreassured,:{ said Yuliuth.

Ç'pier turned around to say over his shoulder, "I'd never hurt anyone out in the open where everyone could see."

Yuliuth growled audibly. That was not exactly the most helpful thing to say.

"Give it a rest, Yuli. They don't care if I say I won't hurt them. They just need a reason not to worry that I'll hurt them _right now_."

“Why are you this way, eh?” L’fael put a reassuring hand on Sojanth’s shoulder as he questioned C’pier.

"Isn't this what you were expecting?" Ç'pier sighed and paused once more to answer L'fael. "I tried the ‘walking through and minding my own business’ thing, and we weren't into that, so."

“Hey, I’m not the one who tried to murder someone else on behalf of someone else.”

"Are you worried I'm going to hurt you?" Ç'pier asked genuinely.

“Well, sure. You don’t seem to have a reason to hurt others, and I come from a pretty terrible place, so how or why would I not be wary? I don’t know what you’re capable of, I only know what the dragons say.”

"Do you really think R'lor would let me wander around unsupervised if I were dangerous to you?" Ç'pier himself had always thought very highly of R'lor. Perhaps he was the only one. "I don't have anything left to protect. Nothing left to fight for."

L’fael snorted. “Then why do it in the first place?” Where he came from, bad guys didn’t turn into nice guys.

"You know, I ask myself that a lot..." Ç'pier sighed. "But I decided from the very beginning that whatever happened to me, it would be worth it if he got to be free and happy, and he does. I got lucky that she didn't have to die, either, in the end. But here I am, living ‘whatever happens to me.’ It was never going to be happily ever after for me."

"Funny how your type always feels sorry for itself." L'fael snorted at C'pier. "Ever stop to think how it must feel for the others?"

Ç'pier huffed a soft laugh.

"What?" He put his hand on his chest as though scandalized. "No, never! You're the first one to suggest it. Any other little tidbits of wisdom you'd like to share while you've got me here, since you've already got me and my whole-ass type figured out?"

**He always like this?** L'fael asked Yuliuth. To C'pier he just rolled his eyes and chuckled. "You're a real charmer."

}:He thought, for a moment, that you might want to know him,:{ said Yuliuth. }:He is not broken beyond repair, or I would not have chosen him.:{

There were so many things Ç'pier could say to try to explain himself, but nobody who asked really wanted to know. He could hardly blame them. He wanted the same punishment they all wanted for him, had always been willing and ready to pay it, but now he could not have it.

Instead, he just had to live the rest of his life almost completely alone. It was worse, of course, and probably what he actually deserved. But he had not counted on it when he weighed his costs and benefits.

}:I understand it is not easy to extend him any grace. His penance is not yet complete. Perhaps it will never be easy. Perhaps no one will ever consider the cost paid. But someday, he will unbreak himself. I believe he can.:{

**I wouldn’t mind getting to know him, if it helps. But I’m damaged too and I’m not about to put up with self pity, particularly when he’s not the victim.** No, he’s been through too much to suddenly feel bad for someone who obviously didn’t want to change.

}:I would not ask you to expose yourself to harm for his sake, and neither would he. He... 'turned on the charm', so to speak, because he gave you the true answer to your question, and you bit him for it. Perhaps you think he deserves it, if you find his answer to be hateful... but it was not his intention to provoke your pity. Only to answer your question.:{

**No, but he does feel pity for himself, that answer showed it. I’m sorry for you and for him, but the only way he’ll unbreak himself is to break himself completely. He can’t heal if he won’t come to terms with what he’s done.**

}:It is beyond my understanding, this lack you see in him,:{ said Yuliuth. }:As of now, he does not wish to heal, because he does not believe he deserves to. I confess, I do not understand this, either.

}:But he believes this only because he _does_ think of those he hurt. He never ceases thinking of them and the pain he caused them. Now, the one he hurt most lives, and she may yet one day be made whole. He strives daily for this end until he must be made to rest. Nevertheless, he remains beyond redemption in his own heart. Perhaps this is what you mean by self-pity?

}:Would you think better of him if he felt he will have bought his forgiveness when at last his penance is complete?:{

L’fael studied both dragon and rider before his amber eyes settled on C’pier. “So when do you think you’ll let yourself heal?”

If not for the fact that Ç'pier could feel Yuliuth's desire for him to wait, he would have left his brown to chat up the strange dragon-hearing man several minutes ago. But Yuliuth wanted him to wait.

"I'll worry about me after my debt is paid."

“And how long is that?”

"You'd have to ask N'vanik." Ç'pier shrugged.

“Oh, sorry then.” L’fael turned back to his green. She looked a bit calmer.

"If you're worried about me doing something sketchy, you should tell R'lor everything you see," said Ç'pier. "If I'm up to no good, he'll nip it in the bud. Nice talk. I'm gonna see if I've still got time to wash off. You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good." L'fael picked up his brush and began working on Sojanth again. He didn't trust that one, not one bit.

Last updated on the November 4th 2024

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The Bad Man