Why Don't They Want Me?

Writers: Shawna, Sia
Date Posted: 31st May 2024

Characters: N'kevyn, Aydhara
Description: N’kevyn goes looking for his daughter after a disappointing (for her) hatching
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 13, day 1 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: K'lvin, Casmari, N'kayden (by name), and L'rin, A'lin, R'bain, H'taysh (not by name)

N'kevyn

Aydhara

N’kevyn had looked for his daughter after the hatching, sure she was feeling some combination of frustration and disappointment. When she hadn’t arrived by the time the feast was going, he’d even gone and stuck his head in the candidate barracks looking for her. Not finding her there, he’d tried his weyr next, although that certainly wasn’t ‘home’. When that was equally fruitless, he’d reluctantly reached out to Avicath. He hadn’t wanted to ask the dragon to help, worried that would make whatever disappointment she was feeling worse, but he didn’t know where she might be hiding at a brand new Weyr.

**Avi, can you ask Aydhara where she is?**

The answer came immediately, }:We’re watching the boats.:{

**What?**

}:The things that float on the water? With people on them?:{

**I know what boats are.**

}: You asked.:{

N’kevyn didn’t bother clarifying, instead following the bronze’s directions until he spotted him, looking out over the water on one of Tymborikath’s favorite spots. He did not see his daughter. “Aydhara?”

Aydhara wasn't really watching the boats, but it was nice and quiet out here, and Avicath must have thought that being outside was a good idea. She had planned to sulk on his ledge with him but he nudged her until she moved. She sat with her knees tucked up around her chin against the big bronze side, and Avicath unfurled his wing to cover her. She hadn't sat like that since she was fourteen and honestly, didn't know how Avicath remembered.

Her father's voice made her jump; she didn't recognize it at first, muffled as it was from outside Avicath's wing. She hadn't expected him to come looking for her, either. "Dad?" She asked.

“I see you’ve stolen my dragon again.” N’kevyn walked around until he could see her under the bronze’s wing. “He used to babysit you when you were little, you know,” of course she did, he’d told this story often, “I’d just put you in your little basket right in front of his nose and he’d watch you while I got changed or stopped your brother from running naked across the Weyrbowl. Can I join you, or do you want to be alone?” He hadn’t wanted that, but he felt better about it now that he knew Avicath was keeping her company.

She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cry anymore. She was an _adult_ now, and she didn't need to run crying from the hatching sands like a twelve turn old. But the pressure welled up in her throat anyway, and she burst into tears halfway through "I know, Avicath is the best b-"

“Oh, hey,” N’kevyn quickly ducked under the big wing to get next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders, “you're alright. You can cry as much as you want tonight, but you know this just means your dragon wasn't there yet. And you wouldn't want anything but the perfect dragon, right? The best boy.” He didn't care what color she Impressed, but he knew she had opinions.

"No!" Though which part she protested wasn't entirely clear as she dissolved into sobs. "They didn't want me in High Reaches and, and they don't want me here. And Tym's not gonna rise in forever, and, and," Whatever else she tried to say got lost in the tears.

“There will be two hatchings next turn. It's not forever.” He stroked her hair soothingly, “I’m sorry you have to keep being patient, but you know you still have time.”

"Why don't they want me?"

“Oh sweetie,” he hugged her tighter, “it’s just that it’s not a perfect fit yet. They don’t fit you, it’s nothing wrong with you. Maybe a hatchling at my first hatching could have picked me, but I wouldn’t have wanted that. Avi was worth the wait.”

The bronze rumbled happily.

Aydhara's tears subsided a little as he squeezed her, and Avicath's happy rumble reverberated along her back. She tried to take a deep breath but couldn't; it came as three shuddering inhales instead. "That's not the same, you were already in the Wings by now."

“True, but your older brother only just Impressed and your mother nearly aged out, so I’m the weird one here, not you, and you still have time. I was just a simpler man, it was easier to match me up. I just wanted the best, and Avicath knew that was him.”

Aydhara sniffled and tried to roughly rub the wetness from her face. "Avicath _is_ the best." She agreed miserably. "I didn't even get to congratulate Nik."

“That’s certainly what he thinks. Your dragon will be the best, too.” He loosened his hold on her, “He’ll understand. And you’ll be happy to meet his brown in a day or two, you will.”

"Yeah I will." Aydhara muttered. It didn't feel like that right now, but she also knew that wasn't fair to stupid Nikhayden and his stupid dragon. She'd thought they looked like a handsome pair before she realized she wouldn't be following them. "We were supposed to be weyrlings together."

“It is sad. Now he won’t have any competition in his class at all.”

"K'lvin's going to think he's so good, when he's _not_." Aydhara agreed glumly. "And all those stupid builder boys got dragons, too. They're not gonna know they're _wrong_." She knew it was unreasonable, but ugh. No one could hear them from up here and under Avicath's wing.

“It really is a disservice to them that you won't be there to show them how wrong they are,” N'kevyn said with a completely straight face. “You know. This means you'll have some free time. I was going to go see some of the other southern Weyrs on my next free day, if you wanted to join.”

Aydhara sniffled. "Yes." She said reluctantly. "Can we see if we can gawk at the bluerider at Dragonsfall?" She asked. "Do you think they'll let us? We aren't from Dolphin Cove." And then, after another pause, "Do you think Casmari will let me gawk at _her_."

“Aydhara, gawking at people is rude,” he scolded. “You have better manners than that. But people like showing off their dragons if you're excited to see them, usually. Just … don't pick any fights. We don't need a political incident.”

"Yeah. I don't want to pick any fights, I just want to see their blues. Maybe Casmari will let me help with her blue when he's bigger. Then I won't have to go gawk at Dragonsfall."

“There’s an idea. I'm sure she'd like the help. And you two have things in common- you can probably just be friends and not have to gawk at all,” her gave her braid a little tug like she was a child again.

She pulled the braid back and ran her fingers over it, still pouting. "We are friends. She's nice."

“Then bring her a snack and ask to see her dragon. That works on most weyrlings.” He suggested wisely.

"I guess." She said. She scooted a little closer. "Can I stay out here with Avicath a while longer? He's a really good babysitter."

He didn't even bother to check what Avicath thought about that, just gave her one last pat on the back before awkwardly crawling out from under the bronze wing, even as Avicath curled it back tighter. “Just don't keep him up past his bed time. You know how he gets without his sleep.”

Last updated on the June 1st 2024

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Why Don't They Want Me?