Promise Me

Writers: Estelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 3rd November 2020

Characters: Urlene, Lorican, Lusilk
Description: Urlene visits Barrier Lake for a consultation and unexpectedly meets Lorican
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 6, day 10 of Turn 10

Urlene

Lusilk

Wiping her mouth and fighting the remaining queasiness of her stomach,
Urlene faced the Healer who had greeted her upon her arrival by
dragonback. Despite now living in close quarters with a big bronze
dragon, she'd never quite conquered her fear of the big beasts or her
fear of heights; she still avoided them whenever possible.
Unfortunately, when called upon to consult with a potentially
problematic surgery at Barrier Lake, the quickest way there was still
by dragon. Even the much smaller blue dragon that had transported her
had caused an internal panic that was only alleviated after she vomited
up the meager breakfast she'd choked down before the flight.

It was made worse by where she was and who she knew was here and she
tried not to think of him. He'd be elsewhere, working in a forge. He'd
moved on and she'd tried to accept that. Lorican may have given her
three most precious gift imaginable and it would do neither of them any
use to see each other. Quite honestly, if she had to admit it to
herself privately, if she saw him, she knew it would hurt.

Taking a breath, she was taken into the freshly built Infirmary and
allowed to clean up before being presented with a sheaf of hides.
Walking down a corridor with the journeyman Healer, she studied the
information with a critical eye. "Have you discussed with her the risks
of this surgery? The potential for infection is definitely high. It may
be best to simply remove both of the legs."

"She doesn't want that. She'd never be able to fly Fall again and she's
hoping..."

She was curt. "Even if the surgery was successful, I don't see that as
a possibility. These bones and the tearing here, and here, would never
tolerate the strain. She's grounded from Fall. Permanently. "

Down the corridor and around a corner, a man waiting on a bench outside
the examination rooms stiffened and raised his head. Lorican had
accompanied Lusilk on a visit to the Infirmary so that her wound could
be checked, hoping that they'd be able to celebrate her full return to
health. He'd been wondering if they'd resume their training together, a
prospect which he viewed with mixed feelings, since he doubted she'd go
any easier on him now they were married.

Then he heard the voice. He'd have recognized it anywhere. Lorican
froze, not knowing what to do other than wait as the footsteps
approached, half in hope and half in dread, until they turned the corner
and she was there.

He got to his feet, his throat tight, unable to speak as their eyes met.
All the memories of their time together, all the longing of the past
months came rushing back, and he suddenly knew his feelings hadn't
changed at all.

There was surprise, a moment of joy, then pain that flickered in
Urlene's expression before she visibly straightened. It was though all
of her training as a Lady of the Blood wrapped around her in a thick
cloak and she resumed a posture of elegant poise.The cool expression,
however, didn't manifest itself; her eyes studied his face and
glistened as she remembered chasing after him as the dragon flew out
of the Weyr. She blinked quickly, lifted her head as though
remembering herself and spoke softly as she inclined her head.
"Lorican. You're looking very well."

The Healer that was with her flicked his eyes between the familiar
smith and Urlene, feeling the immediate tension in the air. "Master
Urlene, uhm, would you like me to prepare the exam and surgery suite?
It's three doors down and to the left."

She hesitated, then turned her head and nodded. "Yes, please. I'll be
there momentarily. Thank you. Be sure the rider is prepared as well.
Get the tools we need ready please."

Lorican nodded at the healer as he passed, and started to speak, then
hesitated. Every part of him longed to tell her the truth, about the
danger that had threatened her and how he'd had to protect her, but
although the infirmary was quiet, there were still people about. After
all he'd given up, he knew he couldn't falter now.

And the only truth that mattered was, he was married.

"Weyrhealer. You're looking - well, too." He could feel the tremor in
his voice, forced it to steady. He ought to say something neutral, ask
about her work, perhaps, or the other healers, but there was only one
question in his mind. "I heard...that you...you had a child. A son." He
took a shaky breath. "Congratulations."

"What?" That single statement cracked Urlene's composure instantly. How
had he known? What could she say? Should she tell him? Surely he had to
suspect...Her voice faltered. "Yes. I did. His name is Lorgelen.
Lorican, he's..."

"I'm cleared, thank Faranth. Now you don't have to be worried about
being so gentle with me, Lorican. I told you I was fine. " Lusilk purred
as she strode out of the room, but drew up short when she spotted
Lorican with a woman. Her teeth clacked shut as she recognized the
face; it was the woman in the drawing that Lorican prized so highly.
Her eyes flicked between the pair, reading the body language easily.
Lorican was obviously hurting but trying not to show it; what he didn't
realize was that his eyes told her everything she needed to know. This
was the woman that he loved. The woman that he had given up to protect.
And she was here. She didn't know why, but it was obviously painful...
for the both of them.

The woman, her posture gave more clues to who she was than she
realized. The knots said WeyrHealer, but she was willing to wager that
the woman was Blood. No one else but a woman of high ranked breeding
stood that way, with that much contrived poise and grace. And she was
quickly arranging her face to appear nonplussed, but the anguish in them
hadn't been hidden quickly enough. She wondered if Lorican knew that
the woman loved him just as much. Her own presence must have been a real
kick in the teeth. Shaffit!

Urlene felt hot pain lance through her at the sense of the utter loss of
hope. Wrapping a veil of calm around her, she took a quick breath. A
completely distant and cool expression shuttered her face as she turned
a perfectly civil, polite smile. "Hello. Lorican, would you care to
introduce me to your friend?"

Lorican looked from one to the other, stricken, and longing to know more
about the child, but at the look on Urlene's face he could only retreat
into politeness, the desperation only showing in his eyes. "Yes, of
course. Lusilk, this is Master Urlene, the Weyrhealer of Dolphin Cove.
She treated my injuries with great skill after I was - in the fire at
the smithy. Urlene, this is Lusilk, assistant to the Headwoman...and my
wife."

His what? Her eyes flew to Lorican's and something in them revealed all
of the hurt she was unable to hide before she managed to arrange her
features back into a tight, but civil expression. "Oh. I see. Forgive
me for the mistake. Well, " she turned back to Lusilk, offering her
hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lusilk. I wish both all of the
happiness you can find." There was a quick shake, and after Lusilk
murmured an appropriate reply, Urlene turned back to face Lorican. "
I'm very happy for you. It seems Barrier Lake has suited you far better
than Dolphins Cove did, though I see that you still spend time in the
infirmary. At least it's not for yourself this time. " She inhaled,
stepping back, nodding again to Lusilk. "You'll have to excuse me, but
I'm afraid I've got a patient waiting, so I've little time for
pleasantries. I wish you both well."

She inclined her head and turned, stepping quickly away; she could not
bear to stay longer or force any further pleasantries. Hadn't Lorican
told her he'd marry for love? Her chest hurt. Her lungs felt as though
they burned and her eyes stung with tears she couldn't afford to shed.
He'd found someone better suited to him rather quickly, she thought with
bitter hurt.

Lorican's eyes followed her, desperate and helpless, as she walked away.
There was a tension in her straight back, the set of her shoulders, that
told him she was hurt and his instincts told him to run after her, to
hold her in his arms and rest his cheek against her soft hair. To tell
her he loved her still, and always would.

But he couldn't move. How could he tell her that? He was married, his
wife was beside him. He couldn't do such an ignoble thing. Lusilk
deserved better. As she stepped into the room the other healer had
indicated and closed the door, he felt his chance of ever seeing his son
vanish with her.

With a deep breath, he forced himself to regain his control. "That was a
surprise. I didn't expect..." His voice trailed off. "You're cleared,
then? I'm glad."

Lusilk looked up at him and there was surprising empathy in her eyes.
She'd felt that pain, desperation and loss very recently. He had a
chance; she didn't, so she spoke softly. "You can go after her,
Lorican. I understand." She laid a hand on his arm. "You love her."
The slight lift of her lips wasn't mocking. "I do understand... more
than you know." The clear pain in his eyes only reaffirmed her plans
and the need to complete them soon. This entire marriage simply wasn't
fair to him. It hadn't been what he really wanted; he'd been guided by
stupid honor. It would be kinder on him in the end.

For a moment, his eyes flickered to the closed door. He desperately
wanted to see her, even if it was only one more time, but he'd seen the
anguish in her eyes, too. He couldn't cause her more pain, and hurt
Lusilk, too. He shook his head. "We both know it isn't safe." If she
could see the hopeless longing in him, then anyone could, and besides he
wasn't certain how long he could keep it hidden. He lifted a hand to
touch her cheek. "Lusilk, you're my wife. Whatever I may once have -
it's past. Perhaps one day, if the danger passes, she and I will meet as
friends, but I meant every word of my vows to you."

Lusilk shook her head slowly and lightly cupped his hand. "I know you
did. I never doubted it for a moment. But sometimes, Lorican, you're
an honorable fool." She frowned and peered up at him, speaking softly
only for his ears. "I want your promise, your word on something. You
know what I've done and what I do. I want you to promise me that if
anything ever happens to me, you'll go to her. Try to make amends. Try
to be happy. I'd want that for you. You promise me, Lorican."

The sudden serious tone in her voice startled him and he hesitated,
struck by a sudden, indistinct sense of foreboding that he couldn't
quite explain. "But nothing's going to happen to you, Lusilk. You're
retired. Remember?" He met her gaze. "We'll protect each other. That was
what we agreed."

She'd once hoped to be retired. Perhaps, if she was lucky, eventually
she would be, after she dealt with the Holder, his steward, and Lord
Rorrigraf. She kept her voice soft as she reminded him, "We're still
not safe and anything could happen. I'm a better fighter than you and
I'll have to take the brunt of what might come. We both know that. You
promise me, Lorican. Right now."

Lorican was still uneasy, but the urgency in her voice was real and so,
against his better judgement, he gave in. "All right. I promise. And you
promise me..." What could he ask of her? She was right, danger still
threatened them and they couldn't tell what the future held. "Promise me
you'll be careful. Your life is precious, to me and to your son.
Don't... Don't you do anything honorable, either."

That brought an immediate guffaw from her that served to lighten the
tension, if only a little. "I don't think you have to worry about me
being honorable. That's your area, not mine." She took his hand,
resolved now to not to the right thing. She had to distract him from
what just happened, if she could, otherwise he'd wallow and she didn't
want to witness that."Come on, let's get you out of here, Lorican."
She stepped closer and stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
"Now that I'm cleared, I plan on doing very...very...dishonorable
things to your person." She kissed his cheek, then returned to
whisper. "I'm going to melt every bone in your body. And you know I
can now, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes...I'm ready to be dishonored..." He was powerless to prevent a
shiver running through his body while his imagination ran wild, drawing
on the memories of the nights they'd already spent together. All his
fears about what Lusilk might be planning went out of his head as he
followed her from the Infirmary, her hand in his.

But nothing could ease the sharp pain in his heart, when he glanced back
over his shoulder, and thought of the woman he was leaving behind.

Last updated on the November 11th 2020

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