Inconsolable

Writers: Avery, Heather
Date Posted: 25th October 2020

Characters: Saidrene, K'ran
Description: K'ran tries to provide support for Saidrene after her fight with J'ackt and Alina, but the greenrider is having none of it.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 2, day 27 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: J'ackt, Alina

Immediately follows "Ripped At the Seams"

Saidrene

K'ran

She couldn't believe it. J'ackt and Alina were the only family she had and they had abandoned her. What infuriated her the most was how J'ackt had abandoned her. After _all_ she had done for him, after _all_ the things she had forgiven him, and all the times she had listened to him moan and complain about Alina....

A hot wash of rage lapped over her as she paced angrily back and forth in her small weyr.

And then Alina. Alina! Saidrene barked out a mirthless laugh. The gall of her to take J'ackt's side when _he_ was the one who had lied to her. But of course, she would take J'ackt's side. Alina and J'ackt would always cling to one another and leave her to fend for herself.

Fine! She didn't need them anyway!

}:Rogueth, would you ask your rider to check on mine? She had an unpleasant time with Zith and Imarith's.:{ Ashareth said to the small bronze.

}:Of course my rider will come,:{ the bronze said. Ashareth was carrying his rider's egg, so his rider would tend to her needs. That was the way of things.

He conferred with K'ran, who made a quick stop at the dining facilities to pick up some treats and drinks, before knocking on the door into Saidrene's weyr.

Saidrene was not in the mood for visitors. Her pregnancy-fueled hormones were in overdrive. Wrenching the door open, she barked, "What?"

"Hi," K'ran offered a little weakly, taken aback by the greeting. He held the tray up between them like a shield. "They had extra fruit tarts at the dining hall so I grabbed some and juice to share. If you want."

The greenrider turned and walked away from him, leaving the door open so he could enter if he liked. She was too angry to think about food, which was saying something since lately, she had found that there was nothing she didn't crave. "I don't understand, K'ran," she said, launching into the middle of the internal rant she had been having, "am I the bad guy? Should I have aborted the baby? Hm?" Saidrene turned, hands on her hips.

He decided the open door was an invitation and followed her in to set the tray on the dining desk, and knocked over the juice when she launched into the line about aborting the baby. Fortunately, it was a large sealed flask, so he caught it before it hit the ground or could spill anything.

"I don't think you should abort a child you want," he began, flask dangling from his hand. "What brought this on?"

"J'ackt and Alina came to visit today, for my birthing day."

**Some birthing day,** she thought darkly.

He set the flask down and said, "Would you like to sit and have a shoulder rub while you tell me what they did?"

"I can't sit," she said, tears of anger brimming in her hazel eyes. "They both, basically, made everything my fault. J'ackt's said I should have aborted the baby as soon as I found out, and Alina suggested that I had ulterior motives for telling J'ackt's the truth. She seemed to say that I should have just lied to him and said it was yours."

"So they saw you were pregnant, found out it could have been from the flight, and then wanted you to have lied or gotten rid of it? That's not very fair of them," he said, stepping closer to her.
"It's not fair at all! I-" her voice caught, "I love them and they just left me!" They had already left her once when they decided to become weyrmates, but this time had the ring of finality.
He stepped forward to hug her. "Oh, Saidrene. That's a fecking terrible thing to do."

Saidrene dissolved into tears, folding into his embrace as she cried.

He rubbed her back soothingly. "I'm sorry they said hurtful things."

"It was more than just hurtful things," Saidrene said with a note of frustration.

"Unreasonable things?" he offered.

"They're never going to speak to me again. They're my family and.... Now I don't have one." Saidrene sulked.

"You have Ashareth. You have your mother. You have your child. And me, if you'll have me."

Saidrene pulled away and wiped at her tear-streaked cheeks. "You're just here because you have a sense of responsibility."

"You think it's that because of the baby?" he asked her.

"Isn't it?" she sighed.

"I liked you before then, remember?" he said. "I was nervous about it, but I brought you to special locations and spent time with you. I promise you're not just a responsibility."

Saidrene wrapped her arms around herself, her emotions too raw from the fight with Alina and J'ackt to think reasonably. "I think... I would just like to be alone right now."

"Saidrene…" he said softly, stepping away to give her space. "Will I see you tomorrow? For lunch?"

She couldn't even think about the next day. "Um, maybe? I'll have Ashareth speak to Rogueth tomorrow and let you know for sure."

"All right," he said. "I'll head back to my weyr. And… enjoy the desserts."

"Thank you," she mumbled, now feeling a mixture of guilt over turning K'ran out, but shard it, she did not have the strength at the moment for the "are we, aren't we" game they played.

He walked out of her weyr and back to his own, wondering if he should go talk to J'ackt and Alina, or if that would make Saidrene more furious at him and just damage her relationship with her friends more. He didn't know what to do about it, but he knew he hadn't liked seeing her in pain, and all he'd done was nothing. That made him feel like a failure.

Last updated on the November 11th 2020

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Inconsolable