Family Advice

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 23rd September 2019

Characters: Timassa, J'ackt
Description: Timassa gives J'ackt some valuable advice and shares some of her own history
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 12, day 28 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Alina, K'yne, Saidrene

Timassa

J'ackt

Sitting down in the spare chair, J'ackt rubbed his eyes in an
attempt to ease the ache behind them. The conversation with Saidrene
had been a painful one, enough to make him want to go back to his own
weyr and pummel the blazes out of his bag. But if he did that, Alina
would question what had him upset and if he told her the exact reason
why the visit hadn't gone well, his weyrmate would be hurt and angry.
It wasn't something he wanted to face right away. "That didn't go
well. "

"It didn't," she asked as she worked on her straps. The little
building she lived in currently was quite cozy and comfortable. "What
did she say?"

J'ackt sighed softly. "I've lost my best friend, that's what she
said." He sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. In a study
voice, he relayed the conversation, leaving nothing out, then rubbed
his face. "I was honest with her. I don't want to hurt her, but
shards, I don't understand why. "

Timassa sighed and gave him a sad look. "Sometimes not wanting to hurt
someone and actually hurting them are two different things. You might
not want to but you did anyway." She shrugged. "I'm sorry J'ackt, just
give her some time. Maybe she'll realize she misses you and reach out.
Just be ready if she does."

"Yeah. Sure." He didn't sound hopeful. " I don't get it, I really
don't. She was so upset that we couldn't do anything when we found
out that we're related, but now, it's like that didn't matter at all.
It's not like I don't care about her. But she's Alina's friend too. I
can't even imagine how I would go about trying to talk to Alina about
that. 'Hey, Alina? Do you mind if I bedded your best friend when we
want?'" He groaned. "There's no way that conversation doesn't end with
my balls intact."

"Sometimes, life gives us hard choices," she said slowly. "I'm going
to tell you something I haven't told anyone since before your were
born." She set down her straps and leaned her elbows on the small
table tucking hair behind her ears. "Have you ever wondered why I
don't allow myself to get close to anyone other than for casual sex?"

He tilted his head back to look at his aunt. "No. I just figured you
liked it that way. I did too. It was a lot fecking easier some days.
But Alina was worth more than that to me. " He frowned. "Didn't
realize there was any other reason to it, honestly. "

"I used to be in love with K'yne," she said, not looking at him. "But
Octima wanted him and he chose her." She rubbed at her nose then
looked up to gauge his reaction.

He blinked, took a moment, stared at her, blinked again, then rubbed
his face. "You and K'yne? And he chose my mam?" His brow knit.
"That's just..." He scratched his head. It was weird, but it made
some things make a bit more sense. "Couldn't you'd have both just, you
know... share or something?"

"No," she shook her head. "See he could tell us apart. Though few
people could in those days. He loved her but he didn't love me that
same way, and that wasn't good enough for me. Even if I didn't see it
at the time. And then she lost Marloth and everything changed." That was
a very broad overview that didn't include any of the pain she and her
sister had shared. "It was just easier to hate and blame him. And
never let anyone have that kind of power over my heart again."

He looked at her, studying her face. "I guess it probably caused
problems between you and Mam. But I'm not him. And you're beautiful. I
mean...was he your friend too? I don't get the connection."

"Saidrene is your cousin, and your friend. To K'yne I was only
Octima's sister. He won a flight, I lost my heart and that was that.
The heart wants what the heart wants J'ackt. Saidrene's wants you but
you aren't available so it's better for _her_ to keep her distance
until she can deal with the fact that she's only ever going to have
you in flights."

He frowned and bowed his head. "How did you get over that? I mean...I
guess I don't see that he's all that great, but if my mam and you
loved him, I guess there's something to him. Do you still love him?"
He rubbed his face. "Aye, I know the heart wants what it wants. It's
why I'm with Alina. I love her. I love Saidrene. Just not in the same
way."

"I know," Timassa looked up at him with great tenderness. "I still
have feelings for him but I've learned that we can't always have
everything we want. So, I live my life to please me and guard my
heart. And I have done. So, be happy for me. Give Saidrene space to
learn the same about herself. If she comes back to you as a friend or
just a cousin then you win. But I think if you push her you'll lose
her completely. Be happy with Alina."

He nodded, accepting her advice with a sigh. "Yeah." Then, J'ackt
looked up at his aunt, studying her face. It was so like his mother's,
but there was an affection in his eyes that was only for Timassa
herself. "Aunt, I want you to be happy too. Do you want me to kick his
ass? I will, if you want me to."

She smiled and put a hand on the side of his face. "No love, I'm fine.
Besides, he doesn't know. I don't want him to know. So if you kicked
his ass, he'd have no idea why." She grinned at her nephew. "I have
friends when I feel like it. Ones that do not endanger my heart but
provide friendship and mutual respect. That is much better than
nothing."

He frowned, still not satisfied with the response, but unwilling to
press into her personal life, he accepted it. "If you're happy with
that, then I guess I can't say much, can I?" J'ackt gave an
answering grin. "But say the word, and I'll do some kicking."

"Thank you, but not necessary. You've got a good thing with Alina. I
see you finding your focus. Just remember that your cousin has to
find hers and it may or may not include you. Alright?"

"Might be some time, you never know." His smile dropped and he
nodded. "Don't know about focus, but we're doing good so far. It's
an adjustment, to be honest, but it feels right with her. I guess
Saidrene needs the same. Wouldn't be right to keep her from that.
Thanks, aunt. For the advice. "

"Anytime J'ackt," she said softly. Of course in trying to help him
she'd opened the box of her own emotion that she usually kept so
tightly locked. But she found she'd really cared about his problems
and had to give part of herself in the process of helping him. "We're
family."

Last updated on the October 26th 2019

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