No Promises (2/2)

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 15th April 2019

Characters: Cyradis, Timassa, Wylra
Description: A painful history is revealed
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 25 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: K'deren
Part 2 of 2

Cyradis

Timassa

--
"Your weyr would be fine, Weyrwoman, if you don't mind. Thank you,
Timassa." Moving as quickly af she was able, Wylra followed Cyradis
out of the infirmary and to her weyr. As they walked, Wylra peered at
Cyradis. "I remember you now. You Impressed your Panitath at
Dragonsfall, didn't you? I didn't connect it before."

"I did," Cyradis smiled at the older woman. "Is that where I know you
from?" She shook her head as they walked out of the room. "That was a
long time ago."

"Indeed it was, though we don't believe we actually spoke at any time.
We were too busy getting used to larger clutches, but I remember each
hatching with a gold egg. D'hol was there too, you know. He's from
Dragonsfall." As they approached her weyr, Wylra looked at Cyradis
again. "But I think he left while you were still a weyrling. He was
oh...around twenty-five when he transferred to Thayan Peak. We were
getting crowded, if you remember." She frowned. "But there were other
reasons too. Which is what I want to talk to you about. It's his story
to tell, honestly, but the man was never much for opening up and since
I was involved to, I have just as much right."

Cyradis led her the short distance to her weyr and called down to the
kitchens for dinner. "I remember," she said with a smile. "But I
didn't realize D'hol was there back then. I don't think I met him
until we were both up north." She frowned for a moment and shook her
head. "Things were difficult for me at first. Fresh from the Hall, I
didn't know anything and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time
when the Senior queen went up." She visibly shuddered. "It wasn't
pretty."

Wylra sat on the couch and went still as Cyradis shuddered. Her face
visibly paled and her hands tightened on the knob of her cane until
her knuckles whitened. **Sweet Faranth, I've heard a similar tale. It
can't be. It couldn't be. It's far too much of a coincidence.** "I
can't imagine it would be. It wouldn't have been a rider coming back
from the Flight, would it?"

"Oh probably," Cyradis nodded. "We keep our candidates far more
supervised than they did back then." She couldn't really blame him. "I
was too close to the flight room and the corridor was dark. I was
almost this size but only sixteen and oh Faranth it hurt. I was
sobbing and beating on him but he was done before he realized and ran
away." She took a deep breath and went to the door to take the tray
that had been delivered. "Here we go." she smiled and placed the tray
on the table.

"He realized it, child." Wylra looked at Cyradis, a bit pained. "He
realized it. And got his ears soundly boxed by more than just his
Wingleader. He just never knew who it was, but he was always careful
after that. Always felt guilty over it."

She stopped, her face frozen mid-smile. "You know about that? You know
who he was?"

Wylra took a breath, then slowly nodded. "Yes. It wasn't well known,
but he reported it and volunteered for an entire month of night
watches, after the Wingleader set to him. I did a lecture about mating
flights and their effects shortly after to the Candidates to make sure
that it never happened again. It should be one of the first they're
taught when they come to the Weyr." Picking up a glass of water, she
took a drink. She sighed and shook her head. "But I'd like you to
understand, even more so now, that he wasn't in a good place in his
heart or his mind then. I don't know that D'hol would have been able
to offer you the comfort or care that you needed."

"D'hol," Cyradis took a deep breath and sat down. How many hours had
she spent with a mind healer even after Panitath had found her on the
Sands. She looked at her hands. "I didn't want comfort or care back
then." She looked up with a sad smile. "I wanted an apology. But I got
past it and I found love. More than once. I'm alright now, that's not
going to change." She looked at Wylra more seriously. "But you had
something else you wanted to tell me. Right?"

"Don't tell him that it was you, I'm begging you. He loves you and if
he knew that it was you that he hurt so badly...for all his bluster
and arrogance, I don't know that he could ever forgive himself." She
paused, then nodded. "Aye...I did. And he'll not thank me for telling
you."

Wylra took another drink and leaned her cane against the couch. "I was
so angry when you told me that you used his two babes against him like
that, but I didn't get a chance to tell you why. This is a bit hard,
so bear with me. I don't speak of it often." Her eyes moistened. "My
Girlath was the first green that Yumath ever caught and I was just
entranced by him. We were together, not weyrmated, but spent most of
our time together." Her eyes became distant. "You should have seen him
then. Handsome, but an arrogant little scamp. Those curls of his just
flopped over his brow wily-nily. I had three children by then, but we
didn't /between/ as often as we do now. So I wasn't surprised when the
flight ended up getting me with child. He was thrilled. Even at that
age. He wanted so much to be a father." Wylra looked down at her
gnarled hands. "Twin boys...they didn't survive the birthing and I was
to weak after. I remember him clutching them to him as if just holding
them would bring them back. He was the one who took them /between/. I
couldn't."

She wiped her eyes. "A couple of years later, I gave birth to a little
girl. Little Wyldha. She was born perfect and she had him wrapped so
up so completely from the moment he first held her. She had dark hair
like his." A tear leaked down her cheek. "Much like your Kieyla. When
she was only a month old, he found her in her crib. She had died in
the night. The Healers couldn't explain it. But it broke something in
him and he changed. He blamed himself. Thought it was his seed that
was the problem. We stayed friends, but he couldn't bear to be more
than that." She looked up at Cyradis. "When you told him about Kieyla,
she was a miracle to him. And then Dheymin, but he was taken away and
let me tell you, there's not a worse punishment that could have been
given to him. And then...both of you, using them like that. I
understand it. I honestly and truly do. But it was the wrong thing for
the right reason."

She could understand why Wylra felt the way she did but it was an
awful lot to pile on her in one conversation. "I'm very sorry for your
loss, and his," she said slowly. "Honestly I am, but the alternative
was death. If you really know him as well as you say, you know there
was no other way."

"Spoken like a Weyrwoman." Wylra's head tilted. "And you may be right
of course. It might have been the only way to convince him,
especially with something he was so dead set on. But tell me, Cyradis,
have you ever just _asked_ him to do something he didn't want to do?
Came to him as the woman he loves? And does he know you love him?
Because if he does, I don't think there's much he'd deny you. "

Cyradis smiled sadly. She spoke like a Weyrwoman because she was a
Weyrwoman. "You make it sound so simple. But it's not that simple.
D'hol and I are... complicated. For a time he hated me because of my
decisions, so no, he wouldn't have given me anything I asked for even
if we both still loved each other. Have we worked through that
baggage? Partially, but not all of it."

"So many times people think that issues like the one we faced have
easy pat answers but we both know they don't." She smiled sadly.
"It's obvious now, that you love him and he loves you. It's also true
that he's 'in love' with me and I love him too Wyrla but that isn't
always enough to build a life on. We both have very strong wills. I
must or the Weyr will suffer and my dragon would produce small
clutches. But I also need a place of safety where my will isn't
central to the relationship. K'deren _is_ that place he embodies it
just with being who he is. So, as much as I love D'hol we both know he
can't be that place. It's not in his nature. I think he would make an
excellent Weyrleader as long as he isn't in love with his Weyrwoman."

"So I guess the answer is _no_, he wouldn't have done. He'd made up
his mind and kept it secret and it was an inattentive drudge who
really saved his life by delivering his notes too soon."

"Oh, sweet Faranth, I'm not saying weyrmate the man." Wylra actually
chuckled at that. "And I agree, he would be a good Weyrleader as long
as it's not with you. He's too intense about his feelings for you and
it would just get in the way. You're not telling me anything I didn't
already know or figured out. I already heard all about your weyrmate,
dear. D'hol respects him a great deal. What's done is already done
and over with. Your method worked. What I _am_ saying is that next
time, and I guarantee that there'll be a next time, maybe approach
him differently. Don't wield a cudgel when you can wield a feather
with better results. He may not have before he knew you loved him,
but he knows now, doesn't he?"

"Yes," she said. "But I can't promise you anything. You gave me a
pretty big nut to chew and it's going to take me some time to get my
mind wrapped around it."

"I'm not asking for promises, Cyradis. But, I won't be around forever.
D'hol needs someone he can go to when I'm gone. I'm hoping that
someone will be you."

"No promises." Her mind was still chugging away at the fact that it
had been D'hol who'd taken her virginity so roughly. She shook her
head. "No promises," she said softly.

Last updated on the May 3rd 2019

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No Promises (2/2)