Needed Support

Writers: Heather, Miriah
Date Posted: 7th November 2017

Characters: J'ackt, Saidrene
Description: Saidrene goes to J'ackt when he needs her.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 5 of Turn 9

J'ackt

Saidrene

}: Ashareth. :{ Zith's voice was muted in concern. }: Can Yours come
to Mine? He is...not well. :{ The bronze peered in to the weyr, his
large eye locked on J'ackt as he slumped on the floor, head on his
knees. }: His mind is jumbled and he needs her. There are tears. I
don't like it. Mine does not cry.:{

}:She is on her way,:{ Ashareth replied.

Saidrene lived in a mid-level weyr, but it only took her a couple of
stairways and a long hall to get to J'ackt's door. He wasn't easily
bothered, scratch that, he didn't cry easily, his usual go-to emotion
was anger.

"Hey," she said as she came in and knelt on the floor beside of him.
"Zith asked me to come. What's wrong?"

**Shaffit, Zith. You shouldn't have called her.** J'ackt scrubbed at
his face and attempted to meet Saidrene with some semblance of his
usual expression. The wet cheeks couldn't be hidden, however, as he
lifted his head to meet her gaze. He wiped at them quickly,
embarrassed and shook his head, looking away.

}: You trust her. :{ Zith replied simply.

J'ackt huffed softly at the bronze, who continued watching them
through the entrance to his ledge. J'ackt swallowed and ran his hands
through his hair. His voice was almost a whisper. "L'pin...he found
out where my Mam was from." He stared at his knees, unable to look at
Saidrene. "My Da...he wasn't my Da. And my mam...Faranth, she wasn't a
holder, Saidrene. She was a greenrider. Dragonless. I..." He
swallowed, clenching his fists. "She never told me. None of it. And
_he_ knew. He hated me cause he knew. And she has a sister and.there
was a man that....." He teeth gritted. "They didn't come looking for
her! They left her with him!"

Saidrene had heard J'ackt talk about his mother, sparingly, she
remembered most vividly the night he'd told her about the dream he had
of his mother and her death. "Your Da wasn't... So does that mean your
father is out there then?"

He scowled at his knees, fists clenching. "They think they know who my
Mam bedded, but he's not my father. I don't got one and I don't want
one. Don't want anyone who abandoned my mother." He suddenly slammed a
fist into the floor. "I should have fecking known! He called me a
bastard all the time, never 'son'! And for so long I thought it was my
fecking fault!" He hit the ground again. "I wanted that from him!" His
hands went to his hair, tugging with emotions that he couldn't find a
way to express. "It was for nothing. Why didn't she tell me?"

"Maybe she couldn't," Saidrene didn't flinch when he crushed his fist
into the floor. She'd seen him use his fists similarly in the past.
"If she was forthright about your parentage maybe your Da would have
been worse?"

"I dunno." He replied, moving to rest his head back on his knees. "But
she didn't tell me anything. I have an aunt. She should have told me.
Why didn't she tell them to come and get her? I don't understand why
she did this. And what about the man that they say might be my father?
Did he abandon her too? I don't even know if he took advantage of her
and left her."

Saidrene reached out and squeezed his arm, "I'm sorry, J'ackt. Did
L'pin find out who your father is? Or just that the man who raised you
isn't?"

"Does it matter?" J'ackt snorted bitterly. "L'pin said that this aunt
says she thinks its some brownrider from Far Island Weyr." He turned
to grab at the hide from his pocket. It was wrinkled into a ball in
his fist as he thrust it at Saidrene. "L'pin gave me the information.
I just haven't looked at it."

"I grew up at Far Island, I might know him." Saidrene said as she
opened the crumpled piece of paper and smoothed it in her lap so she
could read it. "Let's see," her lips mouthed the words as she read
through the information. "Here we go, 'brownrider from Far Island
Weyr, currently residing at Dragonsfall, K-K'yne.... of Brown
Arinoth.'" Her voice faltered as she stared at the name on the piece
of paper.

"There's lots of brownriders." J'ackt snorted. "Besides, it's not
certain anyways." He didn't catch the stutter in her voice as he
rubbed at his face. Instead, he leaned against her, closing his eyes.

Saidrene put an arm around him, out of habit, but her brow was
furrowed as her mind raced. If this was true, if K'yne was his father,
that made J'ackt her... **First cousin.** She groaned mentally.

}:You mean, like how dragons call firelizards their little cousins?:{
Ashareth inquired.

**Not exactly.**

The greenrider licked her lips, "I know this brownrider."

The feeling of her was comforting and familiar. As she wrapped an arm
around him, he stretched out his legs and hauled her into his lap. He
wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face against her shoulder
and neck. He frowned and then pulled back just a bit. "You do?" He
peered at her face his brows furrowing deeper.

What would have normally been a very comfortable, physical interaction
between them, caused Saidrene to stiffen. She felt conflicted. They'd
always had this easy, comfortable relationship, and she didn't want to
lose it but... Now they were family. **Maybe, they're not certain
K'yne is his father.**

"Yes, K'yne is my uncle, my father's brother." She watched his face to
gauge his reaction.

J'ackt blinked, then blinked again. "What?" He frowned and grabbed at
the piece of hide, peering at it. He didn't release her, if anything
he pulled her closer to him. "No, it can't possibly be right." He gave
a dark scowl of rejection.

Saidrene was forced to tip her face back so she could see his
expression as he pulled her closer. "What if it is?'

"It doesn't matter." He crumpled up the hide and tossed it. "I don't want him."

**Oh, J'ackt, it doesn't matter if you want him. If he's your father...**

"He's not a bad person, he would never have left your mother, he
basically took over as mine and Kaibren's father when ours died."
Saidrene had seen the way her uncle had fought to take care of them
and be there for them, even when her mother had made it difficult.

"Then it's obviously not him, because that's what was done to my
mother and me." J'ackt replied, just a little sharply. "Your uncle may
not be a bad person. Doesn't mean he's my father, either. There's no
proof of it." He huffed and wiggled her on his lap, settling her even
more firmly in place. "The only person that fecking knows is long
dead."

Saidrene rested her head in the hollow of J'ackt's shoulders, closing
her eyes. "I don't want to lose you," she murmured softly, then added,
"but maybe you should see him. Just to make sure?"

"No." He rested his chin on her head, keeping her close. "I'm not
going anywhere. Besides, I'd have to kill him for abandoning Mam if it
was him." He snorted and kissed the top of her head. "Better not to
know."

"Maybe you're right," she murmured, relaxing against him. Still, she
couldn't get the thought of her uncle K'yne out of her mind.

Giving a soft grunt of agreement, he stroked her back. "I didn't
expect any of this, Saidrene. I just wanted to know why I was
holdless. Maybe even find out my birthday. " He sighed. "He did murder
a man, though. No surprise. And I'm nineteen. My birthday is in
month four. "

"Well, I guess the next step is up to you." Nothing would really be
settled until his father's identity was confirmed, unless J'ackt
decided not to pursue it.

He just grunted again. He took a breath and shook his head. He didn't
know if he wanted to meet the man, if only pound his face in. "Stay
tonight?"

"Of course," they didn't know anything yet, there was only
speculation. Until she knew something different, Saidrene was going to
continue acting as if everything were normal, even if she did that
have sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't
right.

Last updated on the November 7th 2017

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