Empty Silence

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 6th July 2017

Characters: D'hol
Description: D'hol reflects on the past few days.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 28 of Turn 8

D'hol

"Jeyme, you should look over these new wing assignments…" D'hol's
voice trailed off as he entered his weyr and was confronted once again
by the emptiness of it. He had forgotten again. He took a moment and
then slowly removed his boots, placing them under the table as had
become his habit since she had moved in. She had hated it when he had
flung off his boots…

Well, feck her. She'd left. He flung down the hides on the table and
stared at the boots. With an irritated kick, he sent them from under
the table to across the room, hitting his empty, unmade bed. She'd
done that too…making the bed. He looked around, absorbing the
emptiness of his weyr and the silence. Faranth, the silence was almost
too much to bear. Even when she hadn't been speaking, there had been
the click-click of knitting needles, or her humming, even though he
had always thought it was a bit off key, he'd gotten used to it. And
the sound of Dheymin, babbling and squealing while he was here.

D'hol suddenly sat in one of his chairs and stared, realization slowly
sinking in to what he had lost. Not only did he not get to see his son
every day, a son he dearly loved, but her presence was gone and it
wasn't coming back. It hurt, especially when he forgot that she
wouldn't be home when he was. That he didn't have that familiar warmth
beside him when he went to sleep.

He had made a mistake. Not a dreadful one, he had thought, just a
simple mistake that had turned out to be more than he had realized.
Even Kapera consoling him didn't make up for the emptiness that he now
faced. It didn't bring back the warmth that had once been in his weyr.
Rising shakily, he rummaged through the cabinet and found his bottle
and a glass. He sat back down at the table and poured a measure into
his glass, just staring at it for a long moment. He rotated the glass
in his hand before tipping it back for a long drink.

The warmth helped, but it didn't console. It didn't replace anything.
All it did was ease the emptiness. He set down the glass and his head
dropped to his hands, arms supported on the table. His eyes welled up
but he forced the sudden grief back with a savage shake of his head as
he refilled his glass. No, no he would not weep. He shouldn't miss her
at all; she'd taken his son away and now he was left with nothing but
one restday a sevenday to visit him.

He'd had to arrange with Dheymin's new fostermother a time to visit
when Jeyme was doing drills and didn't have him. It was only a
candlemark each restday. He'd wanted more time than that, but it
wasn't convenient for the woman, something D'hol resented bitterly. He
wasn't allowed to take the child out of her dwelling, something he
figured Jeyme had had a hand in.

Even more bitterness swelled in him as he took another long drink.
Having to split time on his restdays between Dheymin and Kielya was
going to be hard on both other them. It wasn't their fault. He wiped
at his face, forcing away a tear that refused to be held back. He
growled at it as he wiped at another and tipped back the entirety of
his drink. No, it was his. He had to admit that. But she didn't have
to take Dheymin away and Cyradis hadn't had to allow it. Just as
Jeyme couldn't forgive him his indiscretion, he couldn't forgive her
the pain of losing his son.

Bitter regret swelled in his throat and the low croon that echoed in
the empy weyr from the concerned Yumath didn't soothe him. He had
loved Jeyme more than he realized and now she was gone. His son was
gone and whatever feeling that Cyradis had had for him was gone. One
incident, one mistake, had cost him everything. His hands tangled in
his hair as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to muster some
semblance of calm. Finally he laid his head on the table and gave in
to the tears that surged to push past his control.

Last updated on the July 6th 2017

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Empty Silence