Goldrider Checks In (2/2)

Writers: Avery
Date Posted: 29th May 2017

Characters: Kapera, A'vel
Description: Kapera checks on A'vel.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 23 of Turn 8

Kapera

Now it was time to ask the hard question. Given how A'vel was acting -
didn't come down for dinner, curled up in his weyr covered in clothes
despite the smothering heat - Kapera had a feeling she knew what his
answer would be.

"So, had you solved your virginity problem first?" she said bluntly.

A'vel thought that answering questions about his virginity status wasn't
something he wanted to do right after the flight. Even if it was a
goldrider asking. Even if it was a goldrider that he'd reached out to
before the flight, because he'd been nervous.

"You didn't," she surmised.

He felt a flash of irritation at her questioning, and
uncharacteristically, he gave into it. "We're _fine_. What does it
matter if - " he started protesting.

"You were terrified before the flight, crying and withdrawn. You
wouldn't be doing that if you were ready for it," Kapera pointed out.
"Why didn't you do something, A'vel? L'pin and I gave you advice on what
to do and who to do it with,"

A'vel hung his head in shame. She was right to yell at him. And yet...
and yet... "We made it through the flight. Isn't that all that matters?"

It wasn't an answer to what she'd asked - which made it an answer to the
question.

"You could have _not_ made it through. The fact that you didn't lose
your virginity, that you were cowering in the Weyrbowl crying instead of
running to the pens to care for Tsogath, those were bad signs. What if I
hadn't found you and steered you to the pens and the cots? She could
have died, A'vel," the goldrider said sharply.

"But...we made it through," he repeated again, quieter this time,
pulling the blanket closer around his shoulders. Kapera was painting an
image of such painful fates. Just like what they'd heard in weyrling
classes. But none of them had _happened_. "So maybe it didn't matter all
that much."

"You did," she said, dropping the anger from her voice. "But you could
not have, and it would have been stupid and foolish of you to lose
Tsogath over being scared of your virginity, of all things. You're a
good pair - L'pin and N'vanik both think so, and they should know. We
need you both flight-worthy."

A'vel let the blanket drop and turned to look at her, distress in his
blue eyes. "I tried with K'zel but I couldn't bring myself to do things.
At least in the flight, it was them doing it, I didn't have to think
about it as _me_ doing things."

"But you still have to come to terms with it when the flight's over.
Look at you, bundled in your clothes like you're trying not to think
about it. Are you bruised? Bloody?" she asked again.

This time, he answered. "Some of both." He'd tried soaking in warmth to
relieve the ache.

"See the Healers," she advised again. "They have ointments to ease the
pain afterwards. And can advise you on salves to use before sex, when
you're doing it and can be conscious enough to remember. There should
have been some in the flight cots too, something that a more experienced
rider would have known."

"That would have made it better?" he asked dubiously, wondering what a
salve could have done.

"They can make the act very pleasurable, trust me," Kapera assured him.
"This is why you should try things without dragonlust in the way, it
makes for a better experience."

He was still stuck on the first part of her statement. "You...know?" It
came out in an embarrassing high-pitched breaking of the voice.

"I've done things that would scandalize Holders and I'm still here to
talk about them and tell new dragonriders they're not all that bad. I
can't talk about putting my prick in things, but I can tell you all you
need to know about tolerating one wherever a man wants to put it,"
Kapera said bluntly.

A'vel blushed more crimson to think about the goldrider in any kind of
sexual context, especially any that superficially resembled how boys
were. "I - but you're a _goldrider_," he protested.

"And a woman, and one with needs," she replied cheerfully.
In a more serious tone, she continued. "My point is, I know what I'm
talking about, and taking my advice and experimenting would have made
this less painful for you. It will certainly make your next flight
better. At least so that you don't wind up crying rather than going to
her," she said. Reminding him of his terror earlier was the only way to
get the point across, apparently.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll make sure Tsogath and myself are looked at," A'vel
said. After a moment, he added, "And thank you for coming to check on us."

He hadn't asked her to come over. But it was remarkable for a goldrider
to care about just a greenrider like him enough that she not only had
helped him before the flight but consoled him after.

"All right. And please, drop by anytime you need anything," she said. On
that note, she left his weyr. Hopefully A'vel would _take_ some of the
advice they kept giving him...

Last updated on the June 8th 2017

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Goldrider Checks In (2/2)