Our Decisions Define Us (1)

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 16th December 2016

Characters: Benamil, Arion
Description: Benamil thinks back to why he left Amber Hills and came to Dolphin Cove for a vacation.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 1 of Turn 8

Benamil

Benamil squinted against the brilliant sunlight as it reflected brightly off of the shimmering, Dolphin Cove water. He'd heard some of the locals talking about how "cool" the weather was, but for Benamil, who'd left Amber Hills in the midst of a cold snap and some snow, the weather felt warm and welcome.

It was hard to believe that he'd been at Dolphin Cove for a month now. He was sure that he was probably wearing out his welcome, but Chaysea had assured him that he could use the room she'd given him for as long as he needed. It was his good fortune that he and Chaysea had been holdbrats together at Amber Hills. She was only two Turns his senior so they'd been in quite a few harper classes together.

Arms braced on his knees, a letter dangled from his fingers, not the first he'd received since he'd been at Dolphins Cove. This letter was from Benani, the last three had been from Royan, Nimroy, and Milroy- his brothers. Only his family knew where he was, but not why...

**Flashback**

"Ben, I didn't expect you." Arion opened the door to his quarters wider as he motioned his friend inside. "You do know dragonpoker's not till tomorrow night, right?" The blonde teased.

The last time Benamil had tried to visit Arion the vintner had been gone on a trip, but now that he was back, Benamil knew he couldn't put off any longer on what he had to share.

"I tried to come by last sevenday but you were gone, delivering wine your neighbor said." Benamil explained as he stepped inside, standing in the middle of Arion's living area.

Arion grabbed a bottle of whiskey from off his mantle and two glasses, "Yeah, it was a last minute deal. The journeyman who was suppose to go was sick. Drink?"

Benamil licked his lips, thinking that a little liquid courage sounded good, "Yes." Accepting the small glass from Arion, Benamil raised his glass and then downed it.

"So what brings you by?" Arion asked.

"Can't a friend check in on another friend?" Benamil stalled.

The vintner grinned, "Of course, but that's never been you."

"You're right, of course," the beastcrafter murmured, running a finger around the rim of his empty glass. "I've actually come to tell you something."

Arion raised an eyebrow and took a sip from his drink, "Okay, I'm listening."

Benamil swallowed, this was it, the feelings that he'd been fighting for sevendays would finally be out in the open, "I've recently come to realize that..." he raised his eyes to meet Arion's, "That I'm not the man everyone thinks I am. I... I like you, Arion, and I don't mean like a friend."

There. He'd said it. It was out.

For a moment Arion said nothing, then a smile crossed his face and he laughed, "Uh huh, right, says Amber Hills' most eligible bachelor." He laughed, clearly thinking this was some sort of joke. "What did you really come to tell me?"

Benamil cleared his throat, "I'm not joking, Arion, that is what I came to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for a while now."

Arion's smile faded and his brow furrowed, "You mean to tell me... You're gay?!"

He winced at Arion's tone, "I-I don't know, you... You are the first, the only, man I have felt this way about."

The vintner set his glass down roughly and shoved his fingers through his hair as he paced, "But why would you tell me this? What makes you think that I am gay too?"

Benamil set his empty glass down as well, "I am telling you because it's been eating me alive. I haven't had a decent nights sleep in a month."

"And what sort of reaction were you expecting?" Arion rounded on Benamil, "Did you think I would be happy? Return your feelings? You know as well as I do that being gay around here is as good as being labeled a pariah."

The words were like daggers. Benamil's eyes slid shut for a moment, "I know, I just thought..." He looked back up at Arion, "It doesn't matter, you reacted just the way I had feared. I am sorry for bothering you." Striding over to the door, Benamil opened the portal and looked over his shoulder, "I would appreciate if you wouldn't tell anyone about this."

Arion opened his mouth to speak but Benamil turned and left without waiting to hear his reply.

**End Flashback**

He'd left Amber Hills the next day, having sent a message to Chaysea at Dolphin Cove. Benamil knew he could have traveled to any of the smaller holds beholden to Amber Hills, but a complete change of scenery was nice. Besides, no one at the Weyr would care if he was gay.

Still, he couldn't hide at Dolphin Cove forever, his family, his life, his craft was back at Amber Hills.

Last updated on the December 17th 2016

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Our Decisions Define Us (1)