A Quiet Word Pt 1

Writers: Avery, Miriah
Date Posted: 4th August 2016

Characters: K'ran, Lanniya
Description: K'ran talks to Lanniya to get some perspective on her decisions.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 5, day 20 of Turn 8
Notes: Follows Facing the Music; Pt 1 of 2; Mentioned: Pierka, Rhosyn, Y'gel, Lenala, K'sedel, A'kades

K'ran

Lanniya

K'ran looked over his weyr to make sure he'd gotten the right effect.
The eating table was covered in plates of food brought up from the
kitchens, and there was wine and juice and klah for drinking. He'd
moved the comfortable sitting chairs to the table, and tried to clean
up the knickknacks scattered around so there wasn't too much clutter.
Finally deciding it was as good as he could get it, he had Rogueth
reach out.

}:Anaeryth, my rider would like yours to come now.:{

**I'll be there in a few moments.** Lanniya's voice was resigned. She
was sure that she was about to get yet another lecture and despite
being hungry and ready for dinner, she wasn't looking forward to it.
**Is he going to yell at me, Rogueth? I think I've had enough of that
today.** She got to the door, but waited for Rogueth's answer before
she bothered knocking.

}:My rider wants to hear more from you. I do not think he wants to
yell, but he does want to understand,:{ Rogueth relayed.

**Fine. But if he yells at me, I'm leaving.** There was definite sulk
in her tone. She sighed and knocked; then at K'ran's response she came
in and looked around, bare feet curled against the stone of his weyr.

K'ran was unaware of the discussion because Rogueth had taken pains to
be very quiet about it. When he heard the knock, he called her in,
then gave her what he hoped was a welcoming smile.

"Lanniya, come on in and sit down," he invited.

She came closer and pulled out a seat, sitting down and curling her
feet under her bottom. Lenala, she thought, would have a fit at her
posture and that she had her feet in the chair, but at this point, she
really didn't care. She was quiet, far from her normal bubbly self,
and just looked at K'ran as he moved about.

He decided to get the expectations straight at the beginning. "I hope
you're not nervous that that I invited you to dinner in my weyr and
not the dining cavern, or one of the private rooms off of it. I wanted
to talk to you privately, without the Weyrwoman or Weyrlingmaster or
anyone else getting involved, and eating in a more public area might
have caused someone to stop in. In my weyr, Rogueth can warn me first
and we have an expectation of privacy."

Lanniya's brow knit and she shifted on her seat. "Maybe a little." She
admitted. She looked around at the weyr and then back at the table.
"Why'd you want to talk to me?"

"With so many people in one room, and feelings running high, I felt
like the conversations earlier were spiraling out of control. I wanted
a chance to hear from you on your own, and to try to be as
non-judgmental as possible."

She looked at her plate and fiddled with the napkin beside it.
"I..well." She exhaled and quickly poured herself some juice, trying
to find a way to explain. "It was the hurricane that really decided
it, I guess. I saw all those people...and bodies...and..." She
struggled for a moment before it burst out. "All I could think of was
my parents like that. That maybe they didn't have to wash up on shore
like that." She swallowed. "And my sister...she doesn't remember them
at all and it's not fair. I thought maybe...if ..if I could save them,
she'd remember them. And me." She bit her lower lip and quickly
blinked away the tears that were forming. "She doesn't remember me at
all. I know Pierka loves me, but she doesn't remember anything. It's
like she's a whole different person and I wanted her back." Her voice
broke a little. "I wanted all of my family back and together and to be
alright."

K'ran's heart broke as he listened to her. Rhosyn had been very angry
with her. He hadn't had a read on Lenala. And K'sedel and Y'gel had
seemed more disappointed than angry. But he could see how Lanniya
would have read everyone's responses as fury and anger and punishing,
and he wanted to take steps before this could fester into resentment.

"That sounds like something very compassionate for you to think.
Compassion is a good trait in any rider, but especially gold and
bronze riders. We lead people and that means we need to empathize with
them and keep their best interests in our heart. I'm not going to
fault you for wanting to make people better."

She hurriedly wiped her eyes. "No one even cared about that." There
was definite resentment in her voice. "No one cared how I felt about
it. Just that I did wrong."

"Other people see the problem and jump to punishing you like that will
solve it. Rhosyn thinks if she and Orlaith lay down the law about your
mistakes and punishment, that it will bring you into line." And as
Lanniya's Wingleader, it was absolutely Rhosyn's domain to hand out a
punishment. He didn't even disagree with grounding her to the weyr and
demoting her for a bit.

And yet, he disagreed with how the meeting had gone down, and that's why he
was here now. "I don't think punishment fixes the root cause of
something. It might stop a symptom. But if I don't pay attention to
why you did it, how can I properly do anything?"

"That's cause they don't care about how I feel about anything." She
took a drink of her juice and glared at her plate. "Just that I do
what I'm told and wear what I'm told and say what I'm told. Like I
don't have a brain of my own." All of her feelings about the last few
candlemarks came roaring to life. "And Rhosyn treats me like I'm
stupid and I'm nothing but trouble. And this is the very first time
I've gotten in trouble for anything, but she made out like I was
horrible or something." Her face screwed up in evident anger. "And I'm
not! I'm not a bad person."

K'ran had expected Lanniya to be upset, after the tone of the meeting
earlier. This was a lot more vitriol than he expected, and he wasn't
quite sure how to handle it all. But he expected that he would be
treading this dangerous ground more sensitively than earlier.

"That's an awful lot to be holding in," he observed. "I don't think
you're a bad person. I don't even Rhosyn thinks you're a bad person.
She might think you make bad decisions, but one decision doesn't
define all of who you are."

Last updated on the August 13th 2016

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A Quiet Word Pt 1