More Than A Few Steps Back (3/3)

Writers: Avery, Jelena
Date Posted: 3rd August 2016

Characters: Genna, K'ran
Description: K'ran talks to Genna about the fractures in their relationship.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr, River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 6, day 2 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Rhosyn
Notes: part 3 of 3
Notes: The flashback part of this is m5d20.

Genna

K'ran

**Oh.** There was another facet of the problem, he realized - what
he'd done after the flight. That had been the seed of the problem,
hadn't it? The first seed of doubt - and then worsened by the minimal
contact over the next month...

"You heard I'd stayed there longer, and you thought... Oh. Oh!" he
exclaimed, realizing. "It's not like that at all."

He shook his head, casting his mind back to the flight's aftermath.

"I've never won a goldflight. I didn't know how powerful it was, in
the moment. I had to perform then. But when I woke up, Rhosyn and I
started talking. We were discussing the consequences of me winning,
what it would mean for the Weyr. She said it would look good to people
if we stayed together for some time, rather than me running out right
after. I gather her previous Weyrleader did that...they didn't much
like each other." Which was irrelevant at the moment.

"So yes, I stayed in the cots with her - but we talked. And that
evening was the same. We slept together because they didn't have the
Weyrleader's weyr ready, but not _slept_," K'ran emphasized.

Genna's face showed signs of disbelief. She had spent so much time
telling herself K'ran was with Rhosyn now, she found it hard to take
his words at face-value. "That's not what I heard. And surely there
were some guest quarters somewhere you could have used." She sighed in
hearing herself speak. "I sound like a petulant child."

"You probably did hear some salacious rumors. And Rhosyn did ask me to
stay in order to make people talk. How a Weyrwoman and Weyrleader act
towards each other, how people see them acting, is important. To look
like a unified front, and not as two people who can't stand each
other." It was an explanation, but he wasn't sure it was helping.

"But - I can see why it came across wrong, and by the time news
reached you from River Bluff it had probably gotten all twisted out of
proportion," he said. That reminded him of the spike of fear he'd felt
earlier.

"Just like when I heard a goldrider from Dragonsfall was attacked, I
was imagining awful bruises, a lost limb..."

"Yeah, well, that.." Genna said trying to be casual about it as she
pulled on her sleeves a little again, something that was quickly
forming into a habit since the attack. "I'm fine, you don't need to
worry about me. Is that why you came?"

"Yes. Rogueth told me Lissath was still here. But I had visions of you
lying in the infirmary wounded and I had to come see."

"Hmm," Genna wasn't sure what to feel about that. Should she be
touched at his concern, or angry because it took that much for him to
finally show up. "So what is it that you want to happen next?"

"I understand if it would take time to build back up a friendship, and
if you don't want to see me in - other ways -"

His voice stopped there for a moment. He'd gone and mucked up the
human side of their relationship. On the dragons' end, he hadn't won
her maiden flight, and since they were in separate Weyrs, he probably
would never chase again in one of Lissath's. Despite his best
intentions, he really had ruined things, and he didn't want to.

"I don't want to walk out of your life and never see you again, except
for chance encounters here and there at a Hatching or Gather or other
event. But, if that's what you really want, I will respect your
decision, lady goldrider," K'ran said finally, resignation in his
tone.

He'd hurt Genna, so what she wanted mattered just as much as what he
wanted. He'd leave the ball with her.

"So, just so I get this straight, you want me as a friend now?" It
hurt to even ask it, let alone so bluntly,but she needed to have her
facts straight if she was going to wrap her head around it all.

"No, that's not what I meant," he said. "I want to be at _least_ your
friend. Preferably more."

What did that mean, though? He owed it to them both to speak as plain
as possible.

"I want to have not made a mistake and have the
comfortable relationship we had before. I was falling in love with
you, Genna. I thought we were building something. And I've gone ahead
and broken that trust."

His words sent a flood of relief through Genna's system, though she
was a bit hesitant to give in to it. This was exactly what she had
been hoping for, right? That it had all been a misunderstanding. But
then why did she still feel so confused?

"We can try rebuilding it," she finally said, softly and looking him
in the eyes hesitantly. "I want to. I just don't know where to start."

"Me either. But we can always try," he said hopefully.

"I was thinking... I'd understand if you don't want to come to the
next Hatching at River Bluff, but if you do come, I'd love to dance
with you." He knew it was potentially sensitive of a topic.
"Otherwise, we could see a waterball game?"

"Take me somewhere," Genna said suddenly, an idea suddenly forming in
her head. "Somewhere new. Plan an afternoon for us somewhere where we
can be alone together." Like they had when they started going out
together. Away from Dragonsfall, away from River Bluff, where she
could focus on what she really felt again.

He could see the merit in the idea. "I'll come up with a few places
and let you know."

"Why don't you decide. Surprise me?" Genna said, feeling a little more
confident in her idea already. After all the time she had spent
chasing after him for a moment to meet, it would be nice for him to
take initiative now.

"All right, I will, and I'll have Rogueth coordinate a good time with
Lissath?" This was going to work, he hoped.

"Yes, and I'll make sure she'll reply this time," Genna nodded. There
was still a knot in her stomach, still that unease of feeling wronged,
but perhaps there was a way out of this mess and she had to give it a
try.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. "Thank you, Genna," he
said.

}:We should go back to River Bluff,:{ warned Rogueth.

"Don't thank me yet," Genna said with a sigh of her own. She had to go
find someone and talk this through, see if she wasn't fooling herself
in thinking this might work. "See you soon, Weyrleader."

"See you, Genna." He didn't dare try to kiss her, not with the tension
hanging between them. Instead he bowed before departing.

Genna nodded in reply to his bow and watched him leave. She sat that way
for quite some time, mulling things over, before she turned back to her
work. **I'll just finish this real quick, then go find someone to talk
to.**

~*~

He hadn't forgotten about his promise to take her somewhere. And while
flying Fall this day, he'd had an idea of where to go. Now he just needed
to make the time, to have Rogueth reach out to Lissath... and to hope she
responded.

Last updated on the August 3rd 2016

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More Than A Few Steps Back (3/3)