More Than A Few Steps Back (2/3)

Writers: Avery, Jelena
Date Posted: 3rd August 2016

Characters: Genna, K'ran, Elyra, Mhariel
Description: K'ran talks to Genna about the fractures in their relationship.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr, River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 6, day 2 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Nokala, Chioneth/Saibra, Lanniya
Notes: part 2 of 3
Notes: The flashback part of this is m5d20.

Genna

K'ran

However he may desired a word from Lissath, the bronze got only cold,
stony silence in return. Like before, the young gold was rooted firmly
in her conviction that there never had been such a thing as Rogueth
or his rider, who'd hurt her Genna. And she sure as Threadscores hurt
wasn't going to bring them into contact with her rider and help them
hurt her again. Perhaps it was a good thing Genna was too engrossed in
her work in the record room to notice, perhaps not.

}:Lissath says nothing,;{ Rogueth said to his rider. }:But she is
here, so her rider must be.:{

K'ran sighed and slid down from his bronze. **I guess I'll have to go
looking.**

But he wasn't sure where to start. He headed inside the Lower Caverns
and hesitated. If she was still at work on duties, she could be a lot
of places - the stores, the records room, possibly an office or even
the Infirmaries.

When he found her, he wanted to not confront her publicly or anywhere
she would find too awkward. So he decided not to go into the Dining
Caverns. There would be people to ask there, but also a lot of
attention and he might get too distracted with friends.

Friends. Genna might be with a group of friends, having an evening. or
she might be with someone else. The thought sent a pang through his
gut and he had to lean against the wall near the entrance for a
moment.

Two caverns worker walked by and stopped to stare at him. It was Elyra
from the kitchens, who could always be counted on for extra treats,
and her friend Mhariel from the laundry. "What are you doing back
here?" she asked him curiously.

"Looking for Genna," he said. "It's a surprise."

Elyra pursed her lips. "She's already _had_ some surprises this month.
She doesn't need this one." Her tone indicated unwillingness to help.

Mhariel swatted her friend and asked a bold question. "Are you here to
apologize for not visiting her? For the last whole month?"

"Yes," K'ran said.

That surprised them both. Elyra didn't open her mouth, but Mhariel
scuffed her foot on the floor and then looked up. "I think she's
working late. In records."

"Mhari!" Elyra said with shock.

"He deserves the chance. And if it goes badly, we were the first to
know," the laundry woman said.

K'ran decided to just give them both a half-bow. "Thank you." Then he
was off, walking down the hall to the Records Room.

The lights were dim and it didn't seem like many people were in there
when he opened the door. He pushed it open and cleared his throat as
he stepped inside.

Genna vaguely heard the door open, but she was just in the middle of

copying a particularly vexing sentence, so she didn't look up and just
raised her hand in sign that whoever it was, it had to wait just one
second. Her reading and writing had improved so much under Nokala's
tuttorage, but it would never be her strong suit, so tasks in the
record room usually ended up taking up a lot more time than planned.

K'ran saw a hand raise up and saw that it was Genna. He took a few
steps in and let the door fall shut. While he waited, he leaned
himself against his favorite shelf, the one he'd found many an
interesting story in.

When she finished copying her sentence and turned around to see who
had come in, Genna's heart dropped instantly. Sweet shells, what was
he doing here so unexpectedly? After all the time she'd spent trying
to arrange a meeting, now he was just dropping by unannounced? The
churning in her guts was half rage, half disbelief. Surely he wasn't
here for her. "Can I help you?" she asked in strangled voice.

"Hi, Genna," he said softly. "I've been wanting to see you. Rogueth
says Lissath hasn't been answering him when he tries to talk to her."

Was he going to blame all of this on Lissath? Anger, in part from
Lissath being blamed, the other part all the held back anger from the
past sevendays, rose visibly in Genna's face and she stood to look
K'ran square in the eyes. "I distinctly remember her talking to him a
lot some sevendays ago, trying to arrange a date for us meeting up. He
wasn't very talkative then himself."

"No, he wasn't," K'ran admitted. "One of the times he didn't even tell
me that you had reached out. He thought I 'needed to be doing Wing
work'."

The bronzerider sighed and shifted his weight. "It was a lot to be
thrown into. I was busy. Busier than I would have been if I'd won
Chioneth's flight - at least I know what everything is here. But I
have missed you. I should have taken time to visit."

"You should have," Genna agreed on that and looked down, not knowing
what else to say for a moment. Not knowing what she wanted to say.
She'd been imagining this moment for quite sometime, playing it over
and over in her head. Dreaming up everything she wanted to say to him,
or how she'd like to slap him in the face and walk away. But she came
up empty now in the face of the man she'd come to love so bad it hurt.
Looking down, she caught sight of the bruises still clearly visible on
her wrists and she tried - as nonchalantly as possible - to pull down
her sleeves a little.

K'ran didn't notice the motion, since he also kept looking away from
her. "I wanted to try to make it up to you. If there's anything I can
do to fix this, please, tell me. If you want us to never darken your
weyrledge again - "

He trailed off, knowing how he should finish the sentence, by telling
her he'd walk away. But he didn't want to finish it that way. He
didn't _want_ to walk away from her.

**I've been a fool," he thought, only realizing he'd whispered it
aloud after the words have slipped free.

Genna opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again, looking away
once more. Catching the whisper, she looked back up, a flicker of hope
in her eyes for a moment. Maybe he had really just been busy and..
Well, did that really justify it? All the pain and doubt? Being so
harshly ignored? "Do you have any idea how lowly and unimportant you
made me feel?"

K'ran found he couldn't have this conversation standing up anymore. He
slid down to sit on the floor, legs crossed over at the knees.

"Because I let myself get tangled up in novelty and work, and I just -
I assumed it would slow down and that you would still be here when I
was done, and then it never seemed to end. I thought it would calm
down after the clutching, and then the incident with Lanniya happened,
and it got crazy again.

"The point is, I just assumed you'd be waiting for me to get my house
in order. That was unfair to you. I probably made you feel like
nothing," he said. "It was unfair to you. It was wrong of me to do.
And I am sorry for my own lapse of character."

"I.. I want to believe you K'ran, I really do." Genna said with a soft
sigh. "But think about it, might there be another reason? You don't
need a girl like me, do you? You are a Weyrleader now and you should
have a Weyrwoman at your side. A woman like, well, like Rhosyn." It
was like driving a knife through her own heart but it had to be said.
She could not decide to forgive him now and then have him realising he
didn't want her after all.

"I like Rhosyn as a working partner," K'ran said, not wanting to be
rude to his Weyrwoman even if she wasn't around to hear. "But I don't
want Rhosyn as a weyrmate. I just don't feel that way about her."

"Then why did you sleep with her /after/ the flight?" Genna blurted
out, face red and eyes intense.

Last updated on the August 3rd 2016

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More Than A Few Steps Back (2/3)