What Did I Say Wrong?

Writers: Heather, Miriah
Date Posted: 24th May 2016

Characters: J'ackt, Saidrene
Description: J'ackt tells Saidrene about his plan to "court" Alina, and he doesn't quite understand the reaction he gets.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 5, day 2 of Turn 8

J'ackt

Saidrene

J'ackt stood in the door of Saidrene's weyr, a wry grin on his face.
"Soo...how's it feel to bang a weyrlingmaster?"

She laughed before she even turned around. "You know," she said,
looking over her shoulder at J'ackt, "at first awkward but in the end,
not bad at all. There's something to be said for experience." Saidrene
winked and turned back to tuck the last of her clean clothes into her
drawer.

"That good, huh?" He stepped in and ran a hand through his hair.
"Thought I might stop and talk to you a bit, now that you're all
sated and cleaned up."

"Sit, I've got klah if you want any." She had already poured herself a
cup, that she took with her to the couch.

"You know me better than that." He eyed the klah and made a face. He
didn't sit but remained leaning against the wall, debating on whether
or not he should even bring it up.

Saidrene watched him, an eyebrow slowly raising, "You're never at a
loss for words, so spit it out."

His brow quirked up. "Eat me." He then scratched his head and crossed
his arms over his chest. "Been doing some thinking."

She sat back, wondering what it was that he'd been mulling over. "I'm
listening."

He continued musing for a moment, his brow knit as he gazed at the
floor absently. "About Alina."

There was a growing sense of unease in the pit of her stomach. Not
because he mentioned Alina, but because it seemed to be taking him
forever to tell her what he really wanted to say. "Okay..."

"Wanted to talk to you about it first, cause she's your friend." He
finally lifted his gaze. "And it's probably a stupid idea, but thought
about..."He waved a hand. "trying to do the whole hold bred courting
thing with her." He shifted his posture. "Wanted to know what you
thought."

Her smile faded a little as she blinked at him. "What do you mean, the
'courting' thing?"

His face tightened when he saw her expression and he shrugged. "Just
forget it. Like I said. A stupid idea." He exhaled through his nose.

"No, really. What do you mean by courting?" She insisted.

J'ackt shifted again to put his weight more on the wall and blinked at
Saidrene. "I guess I mean showing interest in Alina the way a man
would at a Hold." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not really sure
how its done, but I got a bit of an explanation a while ago."

"You mean, just being with Alina?" She asked, wondering why her heart
was pounding so heavily.

"Yeah. Maybe. " He paused then blew out a puff of air. "She'll
probably chew my ears off for just suggesting it. " He scrubbed at his
hair again, completely mussing it. "I just....I don't know how to
explain it."

She couldn't help it, she could feel anger stirring around inside,
mixed with hurt. "You mean after all you put me through, sleeping with
kitchen girls, my _mother_, that you would go all straight and narrow
for Alina?"

The surprise on his face was completely unfeigned. He had thought they
were past all that! "I didn't _mean_ to hurt you, Saidrene. And I
apologized for it. I didn't want to hurt you again and that's why I'm
telling you because Alina is your friend." Saidrene almost sounded
jealous, but their friendship wasn't like that!

Beginning to get frustrated, J'ackt stood straight. Straight and
narrow?? That wasn't him... And the words felt insulting. "I thought
you would understand and I could talk to you about it..."

"What about the other day when you said you wouldn't give me up?" She
could feel herself getting emotional about the situation even though
she wanted to remain calm. She _had_ been calm, knowing J'ackt's
feelings for Alina for some time, but they'd never threatened to sever
what they had up until this point.

"I'm not." J'ackt approached Saidrene and physically pulled her up to
face him. He shook his head, then wrapped his arms around her in an
embrace, resting his head on her brow. "You're one of the only people
in this shaffing Weyr that I trust and can talk to without pushing me.
You're the first person that was my friend. My best friend. You don't
know how much that means to a person like me." He stroked her hair
while he held her. "That's not going to change. "

Her arms automatically went around his waist as she looked into his
familiar eyes. "I don't know, J'ackt, I'm afraid of losing you, but I
want you to be happy. You deserve that." He'd grown up in a difficult
life, the least he should be able to do is find a little happiness to
enjoy.

He frowned. "You're acting like I'm leaving or something. I'm not.
Unless I become Thread fodder, I'll still be here." He drew away, but
still remained close; even as close as they were, prolonged emotional
embraces were still uncomfortable for him.

"It won't be the same. Alina will expect you to be exclusive if you're
going to be with her." She wasn't going to share J'ackt with other
girls. Of course this was all assuming she would agree to dating
J'ackt to begin with... but Saidrene that she might.

"Maybe. Well, probably, yeah." He sighed. "It might not be the same,
but I'll still be here." He looked down at her. "Besides, if you ever
got with a guy like that, you'd want the same thing, right?"

"I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you, so I don't
know." It stung that he cared for someone else more and she didn't.

He just looked at her for a moment, then reached to brush her hair
from her face. "You will. And he'll treat you well, or I'll beat the
whershit out of him."

"Sure." Saidrene said, stepping back from J'ackt's touch. "Could you
go? I think I'd like some time alone."

J'ackt dropped his hand from her cheek and stepped back. As much as he
didn't really understand women's emotions, he wasn't stupid. She was
upset at him and he really didn't understand why. "Sure." He ran his
hand through his hair, cursing himself mentally for even bringing it
up to Saidrene. "See you later, I guess." He held still for another
moment, then spun on his heel, leaving the weyr and closing the door
with a quiet click behind him.

Last updated on the May 27th 2016

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What Did I Say Wrong?