Chilling Out

Writers: Leigh M-F., Miriah
Date Posted: 1st November 2014

Characters: Ninaine, A'kua
Description: Catching up.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 9, day 5 of Turn 7

Ninaine

Weyrlings got so shafted when it came to weyrs, it was ridiculous. So did
the visitors of those weyrlings. Thankfully, other weyrlings could now give
rides to said visitors, so Aluka had flagged down another green weyrling
who wasn't busy and asked him for a ride up to Ninaine's weyr. In return,
the redhead offered a lemon jelly tart (one of five he had wrapped up in
his carrysack) and a slug of klah from the thermos he'd borrowed. That
snagged him a deal, and the green called out to Luneth, asking if Ninaine
would be up to a visit from a friend.

Luneth's voice was grumbly. }: She doesn't want company, but she is lonely
too. Who is this visitor person? :{

The news was relayed to the redhead, and the other green called back a
moment later. }: Someone named Aluka. Please let him come up. He'll give my
rider more klah then. :{

There was a pause. }: Very well. He may. But he is _not_ allowed any
touches. There are no more touches. :{

Ninaine, wrapped tightly in a blanket before her brazier, moved enough to
move another chair next to it. Sniffling from the cold, she poured a cup of
klah, heated from her meager fire and set it before the chair, then curled
back up on her own.

Moments later, there was a loud flapping of wings and a less than graceful
landing, and after Aluka bowed to Luneth, he stepped to the threshold of
the weyr to shake snow off his head and the shoulders of his jacket.
"Ancients' collective _balls_ it's cold out there," he announced, walking
inside. His mother's shawl had been folded up and tied around his ears to
protect them from the wind, faded blue against his hair. "Shards, it's good
to see ya," he told Ninaine, slinging his carrysack around and bringing out
the thermos. "I got so worried when I couldn' send ya a note when the
blackout started, but ya seem okay, so I'm relieved. I brought- oh, ya got
some already. Okay, more for me." He set the thermos on the arm of the
empty chair, then showed his friend the lemon tarts. "Feelin' peckish, by
chance?"

"You shouldn't say things like that." Her soft chiding over his language
didn't have any strength behind it; it was a distracted automatic response
to his cursing and one he'd heard before. She took a sip of klah and
finally looked over at him. Her brows rose at the lemon tarts, but she
shook her head. "No thank you. I'm not very hungry. But thank you for
bringing them."

He gave her a quick grin. "Shoulda heard me at Bex, ya know. I was even
worse there." With reason. "Put me with the rest of the youths and we could
make adults' ears bleed at thirty paces." The refusal of the tarts made him
frown slightly. "You're not even a li'l hungry? I haven' seen ya in the
dinin' cavern in ages and all that. The blackout isn' making ya sick, is
it?" He set the tarts down on the chair and took a step forward, lifting a
hand. Then he checked his movements, remembering he couldn't even touch his
friend's forehead to check for a fever. He felt a flash of irritation at
Luneth, and reluctantly pushed it aside. "Well, more for me, again," he
said, forcing his tone to be light. "Though maybe I should save one for
whomever gives me a ride down."

She managed to smile at his description of his behavior. "I can imagine,
especially since my ears are already burning." Then she shook her head."No,
I'm not sick. Just not very hungry. I'll be alright. I haven't felt like
going down to the dining cavern. I bring fruits and such up here." She
paused and glanced at the small mound of fruit, now frozen on her table.
"Though, I might have to cook them now." She tugged her blanket more snugly
around her and turned her gaze back to the fire. "I'm sorry, Aluka, I'm
just not very good company right now."

The Candidate gave her a long look, taking in her expression and posture,
trying to read her as he had opponents in card games. She had never seemed
happy, of course, but now she came across as miserable to him. "What're ya
hidin' from?" he asked gently. "Is there someone I need to beat up?" He
knew that was a duty of older brothers; an angry one had given him the scar
between his eyebrows when he found out Aluka was fooling around with his
sister. Never mind that their encounters had been her idea, and they had
never gone all the way.

Her eyes lowered to her lap and she chewed on her lower lip. She _was_
hiding, but she didn't know how he would feel about what she had done.
Would his opinion of her be lowered? He was more in tune with the weyr's
way of life and didn't seem to set much store in rules like she did. "I...I
made a very bad mistake." She flicked a glance at him and then back down at
her hands, the fingers twisting. "I...let someone...uhm..kiss me and touch
me inappropriately." Her face crumpled a little as she tried to hold in her
shame and took deep breaths as her voice dropped into a whisper. "I don't
know why I did it."

If that had been admitted in any other situation, Aluka would have been
amused by a holder's fledgling steps into exploring sexuality. Instead,
because she had said that after he asked if he needed to hurt someone, he
immediately assumed the worst. It took a lot of self control to not explode
in rage and demand to know who had taken advantage of her so he could exact
revenge. It also took a couple of deep breaths before the red haze cleared
enough from his vision that he could actually see again. "Was it his idea?"
he inquired in a calm tone that shocked him, walking over to the fruit bowl
and picking up an apple.

She sucked in her lower lip. At least he seemed to be taking it well. Her
voice remained a whisper. "It just sort of happened." She watched her
fingers twist against each other. "He hugged me and Luneth let him and then
it just...happened." Her eyes flicked to her bed and then back to the
brazier. "I..." Her voice cracked. "I liked it. Faranth help me, I liked
it."

That sure brought Aluka up short, the surprise clearing out more of the red
haze. Luneth had _allowed_ it, even though it had been the man's idea?
Maybe Ninaine liked this guy enough that for once, the green acquiesced to
her rider's wishes. He carried the apple to the fireplace and crouched in
front of it, fishing out a stick that wasn't completely burnt to snap off
the charred part. "Did he do anythin' ya didn' want done?" he asked
steadily.

"I shouldn't have liked it. I should have stopped him or told him no." That
brought a flush to her pale cheeks already reddened from the chill.
"Aluka...I'm still..." She cleared her throat. "We didn't...uhm...He just
put his hand on me. That's all. " She tugged the blanket around her even
tighter, remembering how it had felt. She shouldn't have liked it. "He
didn't force me. He wouldn't have."

Good. Whoever this man was, he would live to see another day. Aluka stabbed
the apple onto the stick and held it out to the flames. He didn't even want
a roasted fruit, delicious as they were; it just gave him something to do
with his hands. And if he kept acting this casual, perhaps his friend would
feel better. "Ninaine, it's okay ya liked it," he said quietly. "No one's
gonna censure ya for likin' it, least of all me." He glanced at her to
assure her of his sincerity, then looked back to the fire. "Maybe you're
just tired of bein' alone, or ya feel safe enough in the Weyr to explore
what makes ya feel good. You're only human; we can't be alone all the time.
Even I got tired of it after I ran away from my hold."

"We got in trouble. Luneth hasn't /betweened/ yet. " She then shook her
head. "It's not okay." But it was true that she was tired of being alone.
She missed the hugs she used to get from her father; her mother had never
been demonstrative, but her father had regularly hugged her. She drew her
knees up to her chest and rested her head on them. "I'm tired of feeling
bad all the time."

Ah, a rule had been broken. Of course that would make her feel even worse.
But he didn't comment on that; she had probably already heard enough from
the higher-ups. "Then why keep tellin' yourself ya should?"

"I don't know." Her voice ended in a whisper. "Everything is just...it's
hard to just turn my back on what I think is right, no matter what the weyr
says."

And Luneth certainly didn't help with that, what with how she acted more
like an abusive husband than a proper dragon. Not to mention that what
Ninaine thought was right had turned its back on her. Aluka almost said all
that aloud, and he truly wanted to. It was on the tip of his tongue. But he
bit it just in time. There was nothing he could do but the most superficial
thing. He hated that. "Want me to talk to this rider and make leave ya
alone forever?" he asked. "Or do ya wanna take a chance on him once the
restrictions're lifted?"

She turned her head towards him, her eyes watering. "I don't know. It's
like... ever since I Impressed, I can't keep a handle on my feelings. They
just surge out of control now. I don't know whether it's because of Luneth,
or if it's the weyr... or..." She bit her lower lip. "I threw things at
him. I just got so mad. And I can't believe I did it. I've never done
anything like this before." Frustration bloomed on her face, raw and
unhidden. "Everythings changing too fast and I don't...I don't fecking like
it!" Her eyes bulged and her hands flew over her mouth in shock at her own
language.

Aluka's self control snapped, and he laughed hysterically for a few minutes
before he was able to partially rein himself in. "I- I'm sorry!" he gasped,
unable to keep from smiling at his friend. "That's the first time I've
heard ya swear!" That caused another explosion of laughter, but he stifled
it sooner this time; he was probably hurting Ninaine's feelings. "Li'l
sister, ya gotta cut yourself some slack," he said once he trusted himself
to talk. "A lot's happened, you're under so much stress, and certain events
aren' helpin'. It's fine to feel everythin' you're feelin'." A thought
occurred to him. "Although it could be Luneth- at least recently." He
looked at the green from head to tail. "How close's she to her first
flight?"

Ninaine kept her mouth covered at first, then drew herself up to give Aluka
a half-hearted frosty glare. "It's not funny." She gave a sniff, which
turned into another. **Stupid cold weather.** "And it'll be the last time
too. You're a bad influence on me. I should still be a lady even though I
ride a dragon." She raised a finger to forestall any argument. "It's
possible. I don't have to be one of those...those...floozies." At the
mention of her green, Ninaine drew back a bit. "She has a couple of months
before that happens. She hasn't even /betweened/ yet."

"So she's not actin' proddy? Then ya can blame stress for how you're
feelin'," Aluka said, testing the apple. Judging by the temperature, it was
done cooking. He moved back to the other chair, sitting on the edge of the
seat. "Ya are ladylike, ya know, even when ya curse. Ya could never be a
floozy." He wondered if she thought every single woman on Pern who didn't
act like her was automatically a horrible person. Was there no middle
ground for her? Did she somehow think if she acted like a holder, her
parents would love her again? Maybe. It made his heart hurt for her. But
then, he reasoned, it was possible Ninaine had been loved up until Luneth
chose her; she had never been forced to take his viewpoint of other
holders, which had been **If they don't want me, then fine, I don't need
them.**

He bit into the apple more viciously than intended and burned his tongue on
the heated flesh and juice, making him yelp at the jolt of pain.

"No she isn't." Ninaine was quick to answer. About to say more, she blinked
as he jerked away from the apple and made a huffing tsk of a noise as she
rose. "You're supposed to check how hot that is before you try eating it,
Aluka." She frowned, slipped quickly outside and came back with a handful
of snow. "Stick this in your mouth. It'll help."

"Didn' seem that hot 'til I bit it," the redhead mumbled, letting Ninaine
drop the snow into his palm. He put half of it in his mouth, letting it
melt and soothe his abused tongue before swallowing and doing the same with
the other half. Eating one of the lemon tarts also helped, since the jelly
was cool and the pastry soft. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She settled back in her chair and wrapped her blanket
snugly around her shoulders. "Let it cool before you take another bite."

"Aye, li'l sis," the redhead said with some amusement at the obvious, and
started idly tossing the apple from hand to hand. Maybe he should have
brought up a deck of cards, tried to teach Ninaine how to play poker. "So
it turned out ya were right; I might need my fourth-Mark after all," he
said, changing the subject. "If I can find someone here who'll sell me a
fire-lizard egg cheap, I can use 'em to keep in touch with people durin'
times like this."

Grateful for the change in subject, she considered his need."I wouldn't
have time to take care of a baby firelizard. Luneth is more than enough for
me." There was a rumble of distinct agreement from outside the weyr. But
you could ask around. There's flits everywhere. Surely someone has a
clutch." She then smiled. "I told you you'd need it."

He wagged a teasing finger at her. "It's only 'cause it's ya I'm lettin' ya
say that," he said, but he smiled as he did. Then he had another bite of
apple, pretending his teeth were somehow severing everything holding
Ninaine back. He didn't get burned this time.

Last updated on the November 16th 2014

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Chilling Out