Uncertainty

Writers: AL, Paula
Date Posted: 27th August 2014

Characters: Lenala, J'ren
Description: J'ren confides in Lenala.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 8, day 1 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Rhosyn, K'sedel, G'nir

Lenala

J'ren sat upon one of the docks, his feet dangling in the water. His
gaze focused on the horizon and the land he could not see - land that
lay far to the North. What was it like up there? Colder, he had heard,
less sandy, but surely there were cultural differences. From what he
understood, the Northerners were a lot less strict when it came to
women. Women were treated like people, as they should be. There were
other things that tempted the bronzerider, however, and thoughts whirled
through his mind until a shadow fell across him. He tilted his head up
and smiled as his eyes lit upon a familiar form. "Hey Lenala."

"Hello, J'ren," Lenala replied with a smile. She had been walking along
the beach, all barefooted. Vilarth's golden shine could be seen diving
in and out of waves.

"How are you?" The glint of gold that danced in the ocean caught his
attention and he turned to watch the playful gold. The sight spurred a
smile to his lips.

**Vilarth's here if you want to come.**

}:Of course I do.:{

"I didn't expect to see you here." J'ren admitted as he shifted his gaze
back to the woman.

"She wanted to swim with the dolphins," Lenala replied with a slight
shrug of her shoulders. "And I am bound to follow. I am not mood for
swim, so," she shrugged again.

"Does she like the water?" A flash of bronze drew his attention away
from her again, just long enough for J'ren to watch his own lifemate
plunge into the rolling waters and join the gold. "Well, I guess I just
have to watch her to see that." He managed a smile, though it was
small, not as bright or jovial as to be expected from him. "Kenaranth
is okay in water, but he's not the sort to go in without a reason.
Vilarth seems to be the reason today."

"She does like it. I think Zack taught her that," Lenala replied. She
smiled impishly. "She does have that effect on bronzes. Wanna bet which
bronze will join her next?"

"I'm no good at bets. I get sucked into far too many of them." Her own
smile encouraged his to grow a little, but it faded quickly. J'ren
kicked lightly at the sand and glanced at her out of the corner of his
eye. "So uh. I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Now that sounds ominous. About what? What's bothering you, J'ren?"
Lenala started lightly but her question was quite serious. She
considered J'ren as friend.

"I've been thinking about transferring." There. It was out there,
said, and his ponderings in the open for her to consider. What would
she say? J'ren didn't know, but he wanted her opinion on the matter.

"Oh. Where to?" Lenala asked and sat down next to him.

"To the North." Rhosyn wouldn't be happy, but J'ren wouldn't have to
deal with her once the transfer was made. K'sedel wouldn't be happy
either, but he was also less likely to tear his throat out.

"And leave us? You can't do that to us," Lenala said softly. She took
his hand to hers. "All your friends are here."

"Yeah." There was that. But then, there were other things that tempted
him. "The Weyr opens up new opportunities though." A hint of darness
crossed over the normally pleasant features. "And maybe I would get
more respect from the Leadership."

"I respect you and I'm part of leadership," Lenala objected. Of course,
not many people respected Lenala either. "And how can you be sure it
will be any better in another Weyr?"

"I can't. But between this and Rhosyn - especially Rhosyn - it's got to
be better." J'ren shook his head and sighed. "The woman is mad. It's
like all of Pern revolves around her and everything anyone does is taken
so personally. You heard her at the wingleader meeting."

"Well, Rhosyn is..well, Rhosyn," Lenala said rather lamely. She
personally didn't have any problems with her but that was probably
because she just nodded and said Yes, Rhosyn.

"Don't let her drive you off," she said gently. "We need level headed
people like you around, to counter her..whims."

J'ren snorted and he shook his head. "That's not going to work. The
Weyrleader just bows to those whims which only makes it worse. He never
stands up to her." And thus was pretty ineffective. The two were
supposed to work together, but Rhosyn always took the bull by the horns
while the Weyrleader just stood back and watched. "Besides, it might be
nice to have a change. I've been here all my life. Maybe it's time to
see something else."

Lenala leaned towards him, wrapped her arms around his arm and gave him
her most big-eyed, innocent look. "Aw, but you would be abandoning me.
Who would I talk to then?" She straightened and something flashed to her face, the Lenala who was
hidden from public view, the Lenala Vilarth only saw. "I feel we have
become good friends over the past months. You make me open up. I can
talk to you the way I can't talk to no one else. I don't want to lose
that friendship, and that would happen if you transfer," her voice
serious and the intelligence in her eyes was so different than her usual
act.

J'ren offered a small smile and patted her hand. "I don't want to lose
friendship either." He sighed and turned his gaze back on the horizon.
"I haven't decided yet, I'm still thinking about it. It's not a
decision made lightly." He paused, then cast a sidelong glance at her.
"Why don't you feel like you can't talk to anyone else?"

"I don't know, I just can't. They don't seem to understand...or care,"
Lenala sighed.

"Well, I certainly care." Was she really without friends she could talk
to besides him? He could understand if she couldn't talk to Rhosyn - no
one could talk to that woman, but surely there were others. "What do
people not understand?"

"Me," Lenala said, lifting his knees against her chest, she rested her
chin on them. "I was groomed to be some Lord's or Holder's dutiful
little wife. Beautiful, well behaving but not too smart. Then I was
Searched and Impressed Vilarth. During my training, I was expected to do
as I was told to. Independent thought wasn't something that Vista Point's
Weyrwoman encouraged. That's why Rhosyn had so much troubles with her.
Sometimes I don't know who this Lenala-person is."

"Maybe it's time you find out, rather than letting the rest of the world
dictate what they think you should be." Sometimes it was simply easier
to follow things, let other people lead, or even just settle into a role
they projected you into. The problem was, that might not be the right
role - the right person.

"I think we both have a same problem, we are too good people. We do our
duty and they just pat us head, saying 'good boy or good girl' while
looking right past us," Lenala sighed.

"Maybe. You're probably better than I am. You're not thinking about
abandoning your Weyr." The smile J'ren offered as only half sincere.
"There's more room for you to shine, though. Maybe you should try and
shine so bright they can't look past."

"Oh, come one, they don't even want me. G'nir didn't even bother to
inquire if I might be interested in become Dragonsfall's Weyrwoman,"
Lenala replied.

"Looks like we were both overlooked then." She knew how he felt and he
knew how she felt. Two peas in a pod, one might say. "Well, I suppose
we shouldn't give up right?" So if he left, would he be giving up? Or
just taking a chance elsewhere?

"No giving up," Lenala agreed. "Sooner or later we have our chance to
prove ourselves." She had to believe that or she would go crazy.

Last updated on the September 21st 2014

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Uncertainty