Spread Your Wings

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 3rd August 2014

Characters: Paetri, Ninaine
Description: Paetri gives Ninaine some important revelations.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 13 of Turn 7

Ninaine

She had, of course, heard about the younger weyrling's troubles.
Paetri couldn't help but compare her own early experiences in the Weyr
to Ninaine's difficulties. Of course, she had adapted quickly, but not
without a great deal of effort. Like Ninaine, J'darin had aided her in
her own difficulties, but according to rumor, he wasn't having as much
luck with Ninaine as he had with her. Perhaps it was because of the
similarities, or perhaps it was her own soft heart, that Paetri sought
the younger girl out.

It wasn't hard to find her. There always seemed to be a wide space
around her little green when they were outside. **Camilth, can you
distract little Luneth for me?**

Camilth wavered. She had no desire to get bitten as Rademerth had. }:
How am I supposed to do that? :{

Paetri felt the hesitation. **Show her your fishing trick. She might
like fish just as much as you do.**

Emboldened by the thought of catching her favorite meal, Camilth slid
into the water as Paetri slowly approached Ninaine. "Hi there.
Ninaine, isn't it?"

Ninaine looked up from trimming the leather straps in her lap. She
automatically glanced at Luneth who was staring at the interloper, but
was quickly distracted by the greeting of a fellow green. She rose.
"Yes. How may I help you?"

"Oh, it's nothing much. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. Sit
with me?" Paetri sat beside her on the ground, folding her legs
beneath her.

Ninaine frowned and slowly sat, smoothing down her baggy shirt with
her hands and setting aside the leather she'd been working on. "About
what?"

Paetri wiggled to get comfortable. "Well, I'll be honest. I've heard
about some of the problems you've been having." At Ninaine's
expression, she lifted a hand to forestall any comment. "Hold on. I'm
not condemning you." She offered a soft smile. "I can completely
relate to what you're going through." Her voice gentled. "It's hard
getting used to everything. I know. It's so different from what we
were taught, right?"

Ninaine's mouth closed and she sat back with a little frown. She
slowly nodded. "Yes."

"You're supposed to be a wife and a mother and do everything
properly." Paetri gave a wry smile. "And if you don't, you're a
horrible person. I was told the same things growing up. And then to
come here, where you're not expected to do all that...it's a shock."

"Yes." Ninaine agreed, looking down at the straps. "And they expect
you to change right away and be something you're not."

Paetri frowned a little. "No, not right away. It just seems like it
because it all comes flying right at you from all directions and its
overwhelming." She tilted her head to the side. "You're not expecting
so much change at once."

"I wasn't. I thought...I thought that I was only here for the gold egg
and then..." She shrugged her shoulders.

"And then Luneth found you."

Ninaine nodded. "Don't get me wrong, I love Luneth. I just thought it
would be different."

"How?"

"I don't know. I didn't think that I could be a greenrider. I'm
not...I'm not like that."

Paetri arched her brows. "Really? Like what?"

Ninaine flushed. "Well...you know..."

Paetri hid a smile. "Passionate? Emotional?"

"Sleeping around." Ninaine burst out.

Brows shot up and Paetri looked closer at her. "I don't do that."

Ninaine frowned. "But...your green has risen. You've had to...you know."

She nodded. "Yes. But it wasn't about me. It was about Camilth. It was
her choices, not mine. And I have someone very special to me that
helped me through that." Paetri paused. "But that's not really what's
bothering you, is it?"

Ninaine looked away. It _did_ bother her. "I'm not passionate and I'm
not emotional."

That made Paetri laugh softly and Ninaine whipped her head around to
stare at Paetri, expression full of offense. Paetri lifted her hand.
"I'm not laughing at you. But if you weren't, Ninaine, Luneth wouldn't
have chosen you. It's in you, you've just been told to bury it."

"It's the.."

"...proper thing to do. I know." Paetri finished for her. "And you're
passionate about doing the proper thing, aren't you?" At Ninaine's
frown, Paetri continued. "Do you often think about going home?"

Ninaine blinked at the sudden change of topic. "Well, yes. I miss it.
I miss what's normal."

Paetri met her gaze. "You do know that the only way that could ever
happen would be if Luneth was to die, right?"

Ninaine stared at her, her eyes swinging over to Luneth, who was busy
with the other green. Sputtering, she stared at Paetri. "That's a
horrible thought!"

"But the truth. Do you want her to die?"

Ninaine's mouth dropped open. "Of course not! I love her!"

Paetri looked at her. "You know, I've learned a lot about dragons from
working in the infirmary and not just from my own. They pick up on
things you don't even realize that they are. Did you ever think that
the reason Luneth is so clingy to you and so possessive, is because
she knows that you want to go home and to do that, it would be without
her? That in some way, you wished you'd never Impressed?"

Ninaine stared in horror at Paetri, slowly turning her head to look at
Luneth. Her jaw clicked shut as her eyes moistened. "I'd never even
thought about that." Her lip trembled. "Never once did I think about
that."

"Maybe you should." Paetri's voice was gentle. She took a long breath.
"Can you tell me anything you like about the Weyr that isn't like
home? Think about it."

"I..." Ninaine stared at Luneth, her hands tightening on the straps.

"What did you enjoy doing at the Hold?"

"Uhm..." still addled, Ninaine tried wrap her head around the sudden
change of subject.

"What would you have done if you'd never married. You prepared for
that, didn't you? I had to."

"Well... I thought that maybe if I never married that I'd be a
midwife." It was said haltingly, as if she hadn't thought of that in a
long time.

"Okay, what did you do to enjoy yourself?"

"Uh.." Ninaine swallowed, her brow furrowing. "I used to play a little
tin flute that my dad gave me. I'd play and he'd sing along."

"Did you like it." At Ninaine's nod, Paetri continued. "You can still
play here, you know. You can learn about being a midwife here, with
the Healers. You can learn other instruments that you couldn't at
home. Can I give you some advice?"

Ninaine looked at Paetri, eyes still wounded at the earlier
revelation. "Okay..."

Paetri laid a light hand on Ninaine's shoulder, her touch barely
noticeable. "Find something you enjoy. Play your flute. Find some joy
here because you'll be here a long time. Forget about the Hold." She
pointed up at the walls of the Weyr. "Look around, Ninaine. Instead of
being in a marriage where you might not even like your husband, you're
surrounded by beauty and you can be anything you want to be. Your life
can be more than the little box that was planned for you. Luneth is
starting to fly, right?" Ninaine nodded, struck silent by Paetri's
words. "Well then, if she's stretching her wings, don't you think you
should too?"

Last updated on the August 12th 2014

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Spread Your Wings