It Must Be Accepted

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 21st July 2014

Characters: Ninaine
Description: Ninaine comes to a few realizations.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 10 of Turn 7

Ninaine

After the incident with N'call and Haloth, Ninaine attended the rest
of her classes with a numb mind. It was difficult to pay attention;
her mind was elsewhere, digesting what had happened and what had
occurred with J'darin since Luneth had hatched. Thinking over her
actions and the actions of Luneth brought a surge of humiliation and
shame.

As the last class was ended, Ninaine wandered to her cot and sat
slowly, facts sinking in with irrevocable solidity. Her duty was to
the Weyr now, not her former life. She had to abide by the rules set
forth here and she had failed in that. She could no longer expect that
she would have the same life as had been set forth for her at hold.
She would never marry. She would be expected to be a dutiful green
rider. She had to make sure that Luneth did the right thing. It was
much like being a parent.

That realization turned her thoughts to another twist. In a way, she
could equate the situation to be bound in marriage to the Weyr. She
had a child (of sorts) in Luneth and it was her responsibility to make
sure Luneth behaved properly and grew up to be what she was meant to
be. As a sort of husband, the Weyr as a whole had expectations that
she would have to meet. She had to dress the way the Weyr decreed. She
had to behave in a manner that the Weyr expected. And much like in a
marriage, if she didn't like it, she certainly wasn't allowed to fight
against it. No, she had to accept it, even if something turned her
stomach. Outwardly, she had to appear as though she fell completely in
line with Weyr beliefs. She had to obey.

**Luneth, we can never allow what happened today to occur again.
Ever.** She turned her numb expression to her green, who watched her
with uncertain eyes.

}: But… :{

**_No_.** The inner voice was firm, implacable. **We've shamed
ourselves completely and I can't allow it any more. We can never allow
ourselves to be seen as trouble again. We must obey.**

Luneth shifted on her couch. }: But I don't like to be left alone. I
don't like them touching you. You don't like it either. :{

Ninaine closed her eyes. ** No, but I have to allow it. You _must_
allow it. And you must learn that just because you can't see me,
doesn't mean that I am not there. You can still speak to me and hear
me. From now on, I can't always be with you. You _must_ allow it or
Haloth or Hasaarth will be angry with both of us.:{

Luneth didn't like that idea at all. She remembered the light swat on
her rump from her sire's tail and then the bass, angry voice of
Hasaarth. There was a distinct air of sulk about the dragonet.

**And you can't show how much it bothers you, like you are now.**
Ninaine continued. **You can tell me all you like. You can think it,
but you can no longer act on it. You must remain calm. Never let
anyone see that it bothers you.**

Luneth flicked through Ninaine's ideas and she sighed heavily before
laying her head on her talons. She didn't want to get another swat and
she didn't want to feel that sting of embarrassment again from her
lifemate. As much as she didn't want to be separated from her rider,
there were places that she couldn't go that Ninaine had to. Even in
her emotive mind, she knew that she was getting bigger and Ninaine was
not.

Ninaine looked down and blinked. She was still wearing the trousers
N'call had forced on her. So lost in her thoughts and distracted by
today's events, she hadn't even thought of them and hadn't noticed if
anyone else had looked. Her hands plucked at the material. She still
didn't like them. They felt too clingy. But the large shirt helped in
covering what she wanted covered. He had said nothing of the shirt.
She took a deep breath. Very well. If she was expected to wear them,
she had to, even if she hated them.

She'd once been praised for her composure and politeness. She'd been
proud of her ability to be able to remain composed through anything.
Impression had rattled that out of her, it appeared. Well, she was
going to get it back. From now on, she would appear to be what she was
supposed to be. She'd follow the rules to the letter. If there was
anything she could do, it was that: follow the rules.

She slid off of her cot and knelt to pull out the box of clothing she
still had. She opened it and looked down at the dresses she favored.
Her lips turned downward before she caught herself and forced an
expression of acceptance on her face. She laid her hand on the cloth,
looking down at the clothing before taking a breath and closing the
box to shove it under her cot.

She rose and pulled her baggy shirt down to cover her hips and thighs.
Her chin lifted and her posture straightened. **Stay here. I'm going
for a walk.**

Luneth started to rise but was quelled immediately by a cool stare.
She immediately laid back down and lowered her head }: I will stay. I
do not like it, but I will stay.:{ There was a pause. }: You will be
back soon? :{

**Yes.** Ninaine stiffened her spine and walked away from the cot,
feeling Luneth's eyes on her until she walked out of the barracks
doors.

Last updated on the July 22nd 2014

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It Must Be Accepted