Toss To Turn

Writers: Chelle
Date Posted: 30th June 2014

Characters: Rhosyn
Description: She has a nightmare.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 7, day 20 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Gelira, N'vanik, Z'an, Y'gel, Briata

Sitting up in bed, she felt sweat covering her. It was always so stifling, but this sweat was worse than normal. Breathing so hard that it seemed her ribcage was about to come through her body, Rhosyn tried to calm down. The dream had been so vivid. She couldn't help it. Tears started to roll down her face and she put her hands up to catch them.

She had seen Z'an, smiling, walking off to hop on his dragon. And then he was fighting Thread-dipping between the other dragons in the Wing. So many moments and then all of a sudden, the Thread came for him. She had tried to warn him. She had screamed but he hadn't heard her. As it was ripping him into pieces, she saw his face change. His face was being eaten away. It was...no it was changing! That wasn't Z'an,
it was N'vanik! The thread...the thread..his face! Trying to calm down even as she felt Orlaith's sleeping mind move toward wakefulness, pulled her head in between her knees and stayed there for awhile.

"I have no right to him. He's gone already. So gone." The knot of terror slowly subsided but then something else came into her mind. There was another reason why Rhosyn was angry at Z'an. That brownrider had left Gelira all alone. She was going to have that baby all alone. She would have no help-like Rhosyn. She would feel that loneliness,
knowing no one loved her. And Y'gel had taken her to Dragonsfall so she
would be alone. No father, no Briata, no one. Rhosyn would have helped her at River Bluff. But she had left. She had left them all and betrayed the Weyrwoman's trust.

The Weyrwoman had never wanted that for Gelira but she'd made her choice. Hopefully, she could be strong enough for her green to get through it. Remembering those nights and days when she wanted to crawl out of her own body, she tried to call up Nisheyl's face. It had been for N'vanik but at least she had brought a person into the world safely. Perhaps the girl would grow up to do something good.

"Don't let it have been for nothing. All of it. I am so tired." She saw N'vanik's and Z'an's faces swimming together before her
vision. She winced at the thought of it all and rubbed her knees. Pulling back and laying her head on the pillow, she turned onto
her side. "She's going to be so alone..the fool girl..." Fearful for the girl, she fought sleep but didn't win before she was dragged back under.

Tossing and turning, her body was sore when she got up again some hours
later. Rustling noises told her that Orlaith was awake
and ready to be bathed. She didn't want to get up, but she did out of habit. Throwing on a thin dress, she went barefoot out into the
couch area and greeted her golden mate with a scratch and a rub. Then,
grabbing up the pail of supplies, she led the short procession
to the lake.

She was slow and not really awake yet. Rhosyn saw a young group of weyrbrats and promptly cajoled them into helping with her oversize
dragon. To them, it was an honor. To her, it was a reprieve. Working on her side quietly, vestiges of the dream came back to her. She saw
N'vanik's back being eaten by thread. Shaking for a moment, she went back to work and tried to push it out of her mind. **He doesn't love
you remember? So why should you worry about him?**

And then her mind showed her an image of Nisheyl, but she was older. And she was on the Hatching Sands. There was a dragon with her.
She was looking at Rhosyn, who was standing there with no one. There was no one else. Then N'vanik came up to her daughter, acting as if
she wasn't there. Nisheyl smiled at him and only half looked at her mother. The two of them hugged. Rhosyn stood back and watched it as if
she was unsure of what to do.

Blinking, the Weyrwoman finished up with Orlaith and took a cup of klah from a passing resident, thanking them profusely. With a few sips,
she started to wake up, separating the dreams from real. And then she
remembered. N'vanik was gone. Sighing, Rhosyn finished the klah
before heading back to her weyr to change and begin her day. Just one more day.

Last updated on the July 1st 2014

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Toss To Turn