I'm Here.

Writers: Leigh M-F., Miriah
Date Posted: 4th April 2014

Characters: Ninaine, A'kua
Description: Aluka offers some measure of comfort
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 6, day 8 of Turn 7

Ninaine

Hate was a familiar emotion. Aluka had lived with it virtually every
day the older he got. Hate had kept him going through the worst days
of Bex, spiting just about everyone there. He had felt much less of it
in Dragonsfall, which had been confusing and a relief. Now it was
back, thanks to the spectacle raised by a certain newly Impressed
greenrider's parents at the hatching, and Aluka didn't try to not feel
it.

The question was, why did he want to do something with it? And if he
went through with it, where and when was the best time to talk to
Ninaine?

It was late in the evening and most of the other weyrling class was
inside, encouraged by the weyrling staff to get to know each other.
Ninaine, however, had gone outside with Luneth, away from the chatter.
She sat on a flat stone with a soft sigh and let Luneth curl up next
to her, little green head on her lap. She stroked the freshly oiled
hide softly, enjoying the texture of the green hide and the scent of
the oil. There was a definite chill to the air, but Ninaine just
wrapped her shawl more tightly around her shoulders, her eyes lifting
to look at the cliffs of the weyr with a distant expression.

For a while, Ninaine and Luneth had peace. Then the sounds of boot
heels clacking on the ground floated out into the air, followed
shortly by their owner. Aluka stopped walking when he saw them, and
did not initially approach. In fact, he almost turned around and went
back inside because he really didn't know what to say. But in the end,
he slung his gitar onto his back and walked up to the greenpair.
"Hey," he said quietly.

She had heard the boot heels and had assumed that it was one of the
weyrling staff coming out to tell her to get inside. Her back had
immediately went straight, but when she heard Aluka's voice the tense
muscles eased. She turned her head to look at him, round face set in a
mask of polite civility and revealing nothing of her thoughts. "Aluka,
good evening. I'm surprised to see you out this late." Her hands
continued to stroke Luneth, the hatchling opening her whirling eyes
that focused intently on Aluka with wariness.

The redhead motioned to the gitar with his left hand. "Had an idea.
Wanted to try it out 'fore bed, or I'd obsess over it in my sleep," he
confessed, and gestured to Luneth with his right hand. "See ya got
yourself a real pretty one."

Luneth eyed him, moving to scoot further into Ninaine's lap in a
silent message of possessive intent. Ninaine didn't correct her, or
even appear to notice the hatchling's actions; to her it seemed
natural that the little green wanted to be as close as possible.
"Thank you. " It was a polite murmur. "What idea is bothering you so
much?"

"It's nothin' 'portant," Aluka demurred, brushing at his bangs.
"I...." He hesitated, then gamely went on. "I was more worried 'bout
ya. Heard 'bout what your parents did at the hatchin', see. Wanted to
see if there was somethin' I could do."

She went still and looked away. Luneth looked up at her and crooned in
comfort before eyeing Aluka with accusation in the whirling eyes. A
stroke from Ninaine's fingers calmed her. "I guess every one has heard
then." Her voice was quiet, but her lower lip trembled before she
mastered it. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"There has to be somethin'," Aluka said. "I could write a song 'bout
'em. Show 'em for the bleedin' _idiots_ they are for not knowin' what
a- a _treasure_ they had in ya, campaign to get it approved by the
Harper Hall, find a way to make sure someone sings it in their Hold."

She didn't look back at him. "You know that the Harpers would never
allow that. Even suggesting that is pointless, Aluka." She took a slow
breath and looked back at him and for only a moment, raw grief and
self-hate shone in her eyes. "My mother was right. You know it.
Everyone knows it."

"She's wrong! More than wrong!" Aluka said fiercely, feeling a surge
of rage at the hopelessness he was hearing. "She's so wrong there're
no words to cover it! Your conduct was impeccable. Not even a Lady
Holder could find fault with it. Ya held on to your values and treated
everyone with courtesy. Ya didn' get in any fights, even when someone
mighta deserved gettin' smacked, and there's no way you're a slattern.
No way at all! And your pretty girl chose ya over any other she coulda
chosen," he added, nodding to Luneth, "and ya know what? She made a
damn good choice. Look in your dragon's eyes and tell me I'm lyin'.
You're worth so much more than your parents want ya to believe." He
touched Ninaine's shoulder with a surprisingly gentle hand. "And if
the Harpers won' approve it, then I'll do it myself if only ya ask."

She blinked, her eyes watering at his vehement denial. "Maybe I
wasn't, but I will be, Aluka. That's what I will be." She looked down
at Luneth. "It's not her fault. I wouldn't trade her for anything. But
I know what greenriders are. I know what they do. What I'll have to
do." She brushed at her eyes. "I love Luneth. I'm glad she chose me.
But..." but before she could continue, he touched her and Luneth let
out a hiss and a snap, barely missing Aluka's fingers by a scant
breath.

Ninaine gasped and clutched Luneth. "Faranth, Aluka...I'm so sorry!
She just..she gets protective. I didn't think. I'm so sorry."

Aluka didn't reply at first; he had yanked his hand away and was
looking it over for any tooth marks. When it registered Ninaine was
apologizing, he waved it off, finally satisfied his skin was unbroken. "Who
says becomin' a
greenrider turns ya into a sex-crazed idiot? Wait, stupid holders who
can't be bothered to yank their heads outta their arses say it. Forget
I asked. But what if that isn' true? If'n ya don' wanna have sex
outside of flights, then don'. You're not a tramp, Ninaine, so ya don'
haveta act like one. It's that simple. Think 'bout it, okay?" He
nodded to Luneth again. "I apologize for actin' without your
permission. May I please touch your rider on her shoulder now?"

Perhaps he was right, but it didn't take away from the fact that she
would have to share her bed with strangers and with those she didn't
choose. And, she would not be married. To her it was a matter of a
forced coupling, forced from her dragon, true, but forced none the
less. She didn't want that. If she had Impressed a gold, it would have
been for a purpose, for eggs, but greens didn't produce eggs. It was
just for the bedding. She looked away, and just nodded.

Luneth eyed Aluka again and gave a shrill rattle in her chest, half
climbing over Ninaine's lap. }:No touch! He can not touch you. You're
Mine! All Mine! :{

Ninaine stared down at Luneth and then swallowed and licked her lip.
"I'm sorry, Aluka. She doesn't want anyone touching me." She glanced
up at him and her eyes softened a little. "Thank you, though. For
talking to me. For caring."

Aluka hid a wince as Luneth scrabbled on Ninaine's clothing. Hopefully
the claws weren't out, or there would be a multitude of small holes
that might not close, depending on the cloth. "Right, no touchin'. If'n ya
wanna thank me, just see if'n ya can promise me somethin'? Try to stop
believin' what
your stupid ma said. My ma...." His throat tightened. He could have
stopped, but instead he decided to show the still half-raw wound. It
wouldn't hurt so much now. His voice lowered, sadness creeping into
his tone. "Ma drank herself to death 'cause she thought she was
worthless. She chose to believe what was crammed down her throat every
day of her life 'steada leavin' with me. I can't watch somethin' like
that happen again. She didn' deserve that kinda self-destructive
thinkin', and neither do ya."

Ninaine's eyes softened immediately as he told his tale and her eyes
filled with moisture, but no more tears spread down her cheeks. "I'm
sorry, Aluka. I'm sorry that happened to her. " No wonder he hated
Holders like her so much. Well, not like her...just the men, she
supposed, though he had been so frustrated with her at first. Now, she
thought, she understood a little more why. She stroked Luneth and
looked down. "It's all I know, Aluka. I was supposed to do my family
proud, to help them. Now I have no family. They hate me. All I have is
Luneth. I wouldnt' do anything to hurt her. I can promise you that."
She looked back up. "If I hurt me, I hurt her."

"The entire Weyr can be your family if'n ya let 'em," Aluka said. "Shards,
I'll be your big brother if'n that's whatcha need. But I'm glad ya won' do
anythin' dumb. It's reassurin' to hear." And it was.

Ninaine shook her head slowly. "No, Aluka, they can't be. You can't
just...make up a family." She sighed and shook her head. "And you can't just
replace the one you were born to. It doesn't work that way." She bowed her
head a little, her hands never ceasing in their soothing strokes of Luneth's
hide. "I'll do my duty. _That's_ what I know."

"I'm bettin' you're only sayin' that 'cause ya don' wanna let 'em be your
family, and adoptive parents replace the blood-related," the redhead
countered. Not to mention he had renounced his grandfather by leaving, but
he left it at that. "So if'n ya don' want a brother, I'll just be your
friend."

She didn't like that he was right. She didn't want the weyrfolk as her
family; she wanted her own. "You're right. I don't. One family was enough. I
have Luneth now and I won't fail _her_. " She looked over at Aluka, her eyes
shadowed. "Thank you. I'd like that..."

It was suddenly a daunting idea, but Aluka reminded himself he wasn't a
coward. "All right then. Hi there. I'm Aluka, formerly of Bex Hold, now
permanently of Dragonsfall Weyr. I'm a stubborn, leery, sharp-tongued
sonuvabastard who doesn' give a whit what people think of him, but I've
never done a friend wrong. If'n ya need me, I'm here. It's nice to meetcha."

Despite his language, Ninaine couldn't help the slow, tentative smile that
came to her face. "It's nice to meet you, Aluka. I'm..." she looked down at
Luneth and then back at him. "I'm Ninaine, Luneth's rider."

Last updated on the May 6th 2014

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