What Do We Have to Look Forward To?

Writers: AL, Ames
Date Posted: 26th June 2013

Characters: Kaya, Wirnan
Description: Kaya and Wirnan interact for the first time since Turn's End
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 1, day 1 of Turn 7

Wirnan

Kaya had to admit she was surprised when Wirnan didn't return home the
night of the Turn's End celebration. Things had been tense between
them, but she hadn't expected him to remain out. She hadn't realised
he was going to go_back_ out until she had left her room to get a

drink of water to find him gone. She would have just gone back to her
room with her cup but she had noticed the box, now crumpled, in the
trash. She had forgotten about the gift.

The discovery had set off a whole new set of emotions, but eventually
a quiet resolution had shone through. She had put the locket on. She
had kept her other as well, now wearing two, but unlike the first, this

one was not tucked into her clothing, but fell upon her breast. He
must have been upset by the state of the box, and she hoped that,
perhaps, she could help mend what she had torn.

The problem was, she couldn't do anything if she couldn't find her
husband. She resolved to go look for him if he didn't return that
night either, though she hoped she wouldn't have to.

He hoped she'd be asleep when he returned. He wanted to stay away
longer, but he knew if he did he would truly raise suspicions. Hefting
the satchel of clothes he'd taken from their quarters before, he
opened the door quietly and entered. He had no idea what to say to her
when the time came. He was frustrated, angry, and felt as though the
last Turn had been a total waste. He wanted a divorce, but knew
Zathris wouldn't grant him one. Kaya didn't care about it. He'd tried,
over and over again. Sighing, he turned and surveyed their quarters.

Kaya slipped from the bedroom where she had been folding towels.
Small towels that she used for cleaning were in her hand and she was
on her way to put them in the box where she kept them when she saw
Wirnan. "Oh..." She

blinked, taken aback as she hadn't expected him. "You're back."

He stood there, silent for a moment, just staring at her. "I, um,
thought you might be asleep." It was a terrible way to start
conversation again, but it was all that came from his mouth. The
satchel he carried was still in his arms. Wirnan moved forward and
dropped the bag on the floor. He was tired. Tired of living a life
that felt like a lie. Tired of all of it.

"I'm sure you're well," he said, hardly looking at her now. Yet, with
those words he looked up to her and his eyes caught on something she
was wearing. With widened eyes, he took a step closer, almost reaching
for the locket she wore. His mouth moved soundlessly for a moment. He
thought he'd gotten rid of it after she'd all but shunned his gift.
Yet, now she was wearing it? He raised his eyes, searching hers for a
moment. **Most likely she's removed my image from it anyway,** he
thought glumly.

A flickr of a smile played over her lips. "It's beautiful." The
words were half whispered and her fingers reached up to touch it. Her
gaze dropped, then lifted to meet his, eyes churning with a myriad of
emotions. "I'm sorry."

This was not what he'd expected at all. Wirnan stood there a moment,
wondering how things had changed so dramatically since Turn's End.

"I'm glad you like it," he answered, though his voice lacked any usual
enthusiasm. "I could use a change of clothes." He added. He felt
_awkward_ around her for the first time he could recall in a long
time. He knew he should talk to her, but he honestly didn't know what
to say. Turning he took the satchel he'd carried and went into the
bedroom to get fresh clothes and hopefully a bath as well. He needed
to wash away the events of the past few days to allow him to think
clearly once again.

"Okay." Really, could she blame him? No. Kaya's hold on the towels
tightened briefly and her eyes shifted. She'd made such a mess of
things. That's all she had done since she had met the man in the
first thing. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to fix it
- if it wasn't too late. She hoped it wasn't.

With fresh clothes, he made his way to the bathroom to wash away all
that had happened. As he dressed in fresh clothes once more, he
wondered what the future would hold between them now. He felt as
though any connection they'd tried to make had been severed. **What
connection?** He grumbled to himself. He'd begun to wonder if he'd
just _imagined_ there was any chance between them this entire Turn.

Finally dressed and with his thoughts pulled more tightly around him,
he returned to the main living area. He looked at her, but found he
didn't know what to say to her.

Kaya had sat down. The towels she'd brought out were still in her
hands. She wasn't sure what to say or do. When she heard him return,
her gaze lifted and she watched him for a moment before she managed to
speak. "Are you hungry?"

He stopped when he saw her. He took a breath. They _should_ probably
talk, but he'd tried that before, and it seemed like they never got

anywhere.

"Sure," he answered her instead. "Is there food here or do I need to
send for some?"

"I can get some if you want. Do you have anything you particularly
want?" Thing had seemed so focused before he'd actually come back but
now they were awkward and she just didn't know what to do. "Just tell
me what you want."

"Whatever they have available is fine," he replied, sinking down into
the chair nearby. He had no idea what to say to her anymore. He'd
resolved not to live the rest of his Turns the same as the last.
**Perhaps this is what we have to look forward to now. Formalities and
greetings and nothing more.** It didn't make him happy to think that
way, but he didn't know what else to do. He was frustrated and tired
of trying. He'd imagined his life so different, but what was done was
done and couldn't be changed now.

She supposed she should go get something, but Kaya felt like she
couldn't tear herself away. So instead, she stepped out of the room
long enough to catch a drudge and request some food from the kitchen.
Then she slipped back inside and lowered herself upon the couch. She
gazed over at Wirnan, but couldn't look at him for long before that
gaze fell to the floor. Silence descended for a few moments before
she finally broke it. "You're a good man, Wirnan."

**Shard it,** he looked up at her quickly, **of all things to say
after what I've just done.** Wirnan took a deep breath to steady his
racing heart. She knew nothing of what had transpired for him since
the Turn's End celebration.

"What makes you say that?" He pressed. It was a very unusual comment
coming from her, and he had to know why she'd said it.

"Because you are." Her hand went up to lightly caress the locket.
"After all I've done..." She trailed off, then sat up and repeated.
"I'm sorry."

He'd spent the past two days hardening his heart against her, but her
words chipped away at the wall he'd formed. They didn't break it down,
for there was still far too much hurt between them for him to just
accept her words and move on. She'd deceived him more than once. She'd
even apologized for things before, but nothing had really changed. He
didn't expect things to change this time, but, yet there was a glimmer
of light in the coldness he'd been feeling for days.

"I am too, Kaya. I'm sorry for all that I've done," **Some of which
you don't even know,** "but I don'yt know where to go from here. I've

tried and you're not happy. I'm not happy. Things just don't seem to
be working out, but I don't know what else to do."

A knock on the door interrupted them. She could understand his words
and his hesitation. Shards, she had been an idiot. She still was an
idiot. He didn't have to love her, and to be honest, she didn't think
after everything that he ever could. But she...she needed to make
things right. For Ristin. For Wirnan. "How about eat?" She
suggested softly as she rose to her feet so she could answer the door.
"And just...start there."

"Alright," he replied, not really certain what else to do. Things were
very shaky for him right now. So much had happened in the past few
days he was struggling to process it all.

He rose and moved to the table. "Will you be joining me?" He asked,
offering a small opening for her. He didn't know what to discuss, but
they could at least be amicable.

"If...that's all right?" Kaya had taken the tray and carried it
inside, then set it upon the table. "If you'd rather I not, I
understand."

"Join me," was all he said. He didn't know how to bridge the feelings,
the hurt, and his own guilt over his temptations at the moment. She
had made a small effort and he would not turn her away the same way
he'd felt she'd done to him.

That was something. To be honest, it was more than she had expected
and Kaya set about making plates for the two of them. She didn't know
what would happen. All she knew was that she had a purpose now - and
he'd allowed her to eat with him. It was small, but it was something.

Last updated on the June 27th 2013

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What Do We Have to Look Forward To?