I've Had Enough

Writers: AL, Ames
Date Posted: 7th June 2013

Characters: Wirnan, Kaya
Description: Wirnan and Kaya go to Turn's End Celebrations and things end badly
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 13, day 29 of Turn 6

Wirnan

He carried the wrapped package in his hands. He was nervous. He hadn't
been nervous in some time. Wirnan licked his dry lips as he approached
their door. Things had really improved between them, but this could
either change things for the better or for the worse. He looked down
at that package again.

Swallowing, he moved and opened the door to their rooms. He didn't see
her at first, but he heard her. He knew she was there, moving about
the rooms. He hoped she was getting ready.

He eyed the box again. **This was a mistake,** he thought and
considered stowing the box somewhere before she could find it.

"I'm ready." It was Turn's End and the biggest celebration the Hold
would have. Even the Gathers were small compared to the recurring
celebration that went on for two days and marked an end and a
beginning. Kaya slipped out of the rooms and let a hand smooth over
the bodice of her dress. Blue-green hugged her body while ruffled
straps slid off her shoulders. Pleated fabric danced over her waist,
then burst from her hips to cascade to the floor in ruched waves. It
was a simple, solid colour, but enhanced her husky complexion. She
smiled a little at the man who waited for her.

He looked up and his breath caught in his throat. He just stared at
her for a moment, blinking.

"You look beautiful," he murmured softly. He truly thought he'd never
seen anyone look so beautiful in all his life.

He looked down at the box. "I'm not sure if this goes with your dress
or not, and well...you don't have to wear it. Ever. If you don't
want." Wirnan was flustered and nervous. **What if she hates it?** He
worried. He was so anxious he actually forgot to hand the box_to_
her.

Kaya's smile faded into a look of confusion, her brow furrowed. She
looked from box, to man, to box, then back again. "Perhaps...we
should go to the party. Maybe I could open it later?" She didn't
want to open it, whatever it was. It seemed...too permanent. SHe
still had plans, didn't she?

"Oh, alright," Wirnan replied, a shadow crossing through his eyes at
what he perceived as lack of interest on her part. He had had the gift
made especially for her as a sign of truce between them. He never
could figure out how to take her reactions, or what he was supposed to
do. Now he wished he_hadn't_ bothered with it tonight. He knew it had

been a mistake. He moved and set the box down on a table. The smile
that had filled his face earlier replaced by a rather forced one. **No
need to let her know you're disappointed,** he told himself.

"Shall we go then?" He asked, extending his hand for hers.

Kaya's small smile reappeared briefly before she slowly took his hand. It
was a night for endings and beginnings. Her beginning would be a month
later, though, when the caravan came through. She was well enough to
travel. No more excuses. "Yes. Lets go."

"Alright," his words were flatter than they had been before. Her
rejection of his gift had hurt him far deeper than he would_ever_
tell her. It had been his way of trying to bridge things between them
another way, and once again she'd all but pushed him aside. Wirnan had
had enough of trying when all his efforts were met with nothing but
rejection.

With her arm in his, they looked, for all intents and purposes a
couple, but something inside his heart had broken anew. It was a
facade to him and nothing more. He didn't try and make conversation on
the way to the celebration. Instead brooding with his own thoughts.

In a matter of moments they arrived at the Hall where the groups were
already gathering. Many people greeted them as they entered. Wirnan,
knowing how to put on the best face, greeted them all kindly. But
anyone who knew him well would have seen that the smiles and jokes he
said never reached his eyes.

Kaya was polite and she tried her best, but she wasn't particularly in
the mood to be sociable. The gift had reminded her that while she was
glad things were getting better between her and Wirnan, it wasn't
permanent. He would be better off without her. She needed to start
her new life and move on. It also reminded her of what she had lost,
something that had been a part of them both but was gone forever.
Every time she thought about it, it struck her heart in a new way.
She wanted to just let go, forget it, but she couldn't. And really,
wasn't that one of the biggest reasons she needed to leave now? She
needed to forget. She didn't want to remember. It hurt far too much.

For the moment, though, she played the game. Turn's end and Turn's
beginning had a new meaning for her that turn, though there was no joy
in it. Sadness, yes. Some days it was despair. But maybe once Kaya
got away, she could begin to heal.

The evening wore on and nothing much changed between them. Wirnan
talked to her politely, but the hurt was back. For him this Turn's End
and Turn's Beginning seemed nothing more than a reminder of what the
rest of his Turn's could entail. A loveless, unhappy marriage. He'd
given it his best shot. He'd tried to make it work. Nothing had really
changed between them. If he felt things were getting better, something
would happen to make him change his mind. He was, to be honest,
frustrated and exhausted from the whole charade. He may have spent
more time talking to some of the other celebration patrons than his
own wife. His heart just wasn't into the celebration anymore.

And so it was. They played a game of sorts. Polite, curteous, but
never quite together. Not apart, but not as one either. When the
evening came to a close, they'd done little but perhaps a bit of
socialising and some eating. Dancing hadn't appealed to her and Kaya
had to admit she felt drained. There had been one time she would have
enjoyed the social activities. Now it just served as a reminder of
some things and she didn't want to deal with it. When Wirnan finally
suggested that they head back, she was more than happy to agree.

He was tired, sad, and frustrated by the time the evening was over.
When he knew it was finally okay for him to leave, he led Kaya back to
their rooms.

"I hope you had a nice time," he said, trying to make some small talk.
He, himself, hadn't had a great time at all. He was unhappy. He'd
hoped for something more, but seeing how the night had played out, he
knew that unless something changed, every new Turn would be just like
this one. Wirnan didn't think he could live like that Turn after Turn.

"It was nice." There was little enthusiasm in her voice and her smile
flickered. "I'm sorry. I'm tired. I should probably get ready for
bed." Truthfully, she just didn't want to stay up and have to talk.
There wasn't anything Kaya could say. And she was rather weary.

"It's fine. I know you're tired," he replied, though his tone was
flat. Once she was gone, Wirnan scooped up the box he'd brought at the
start of their evening and squeezed it, nearly crushing the box
itself. **Damn you,** he thought to himself, even as he felt his eyes
well with moisture. **I've done everything I can to show you that I
_will_ care for you, and you refuse me at every turn." He felt his own
lip curl in anger at his thoughts. "I've had enough," he muttered to
himself.

Then in a matter of moments, he'd dumped the now damaged box into the
trash, grabbed his money bag and jacket and left the room to find what
he couldn't find with his wife.

Last updated on the June 18th 2013

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I've Had Enough