A Moment of Weakness

Writers: Chelle
Date Posted: 19th March 2013

Characters: Rhosyn
Description: Contemplating her predicament, she ends up talking to Orlaith about it.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 13, day 30 of Turn 6

Shuffling around in the sheets, she finally gave up and extricated herself from the bed.
Getting up was hard and painful but Rhosyn toughed it out and finally managed to rise.
Planting her feet on the floor, she was grateful for the cool stone. Looking around her
weyr, she closed her eyes, willing herself to get past the pain. She couldn't keep numbweeding
and drinking fellis all the time.

**It's not so bad. It could have been worse. Like a Threadscore** Gritting her teeth, she didn't
bother with the robe hanging on a peg nearby. It was easier not to put anything on her sticky,
healing skin. The fevers were gone, she was pretty sure. However, the risk for infection was still
there and the pain was never-ending. Walking to the table, she didn't sit but placed her hands on
the surface.

She couldn't help herself. Gasping, she let loose the breath she had been holding. Every time
she moved, it hurt as the skin was stretched. This was what she hadn't wanted anyone to see.
**I am so weak. It hurts so bad and all I want to do is sit in a cold bathing pool and cry. That's
not me, can't be me. I am a southern Weyrwoman for Faranth's sake.**

Knowing she didn't even have anything to do since Lenala was handling the Records for now,
she finally opened her hazel eyes again. They were moist.

}:You should let me call the healers:{ came Orlaith's thought as a whisper in her mind.
**What can they do? Give me more drugs? That's not okay.**
}:So you would rather walk around and suffer?:{
**It's okay. I can stand it. It hurts now but it will get better. I just have to put up with it. I'm
sorry if you hurt too**

It had been stupid, getting herself into such a situation. Not that she could go back and change
it. **Well I could but..no** Not that she would ever have done anything different.

}:I wish I could take some of your pain:{ Crooning with her own sorrow and misery, Orlaith stuck
her head inside from where she was lying on her couch, watching the entrance to the weyr and
listening for her rider.
**I wish you could**

Smiling for just a moment, she walked over to her queen and put her hand on that great big muzzle.
Orlaith's head was almost as large as Rhosyn's entire body. Some part of her took secret pleasure
in having this moment-being alone with just her dragon. No duties, no people to visit, no Weyr to worry
about. Even though it had all resulted from Orlaith's Flight, neither of them would ever think to blame the queen
for what had happened.

}:I will have eggs again in the new Turn:{ Orlaith announced with a smug tone and a snort.
**You will and the Weyr will embrace them. They will be fine dragons all. You flew well.**
}:You do not want them to know you can be hurt I think:{ That had forever been a trait of her
rider. Rhosyn was never vulnerable in public. She found a quiet, secret place and then vented
her hurts. }:But you are strong and they know this. There is no shame:{
**They cannot know that in something so simple as a Flight-I failed them. It is my responsibility
to keep myself healthy and safe. They need me. They need you.**

For most of Rhosyn's life since Impressing, she understood that her life only had worth because
Orlaith had chosen her. If anything happened to her, Pern lost a precious queen and doing stupid things
to jeopardize her queen's life was unacceptable. Angry at herself more than anything, she had to admit
she had put her dragon at risk. A dragon with eggs in her belly. **I'm not a very good Weyrwoman**

}:You are. Everyone makes mistakes. You didn't mean it. It's over now and you are getting better.
You have to remember to get better:{ the gold urged her, trying to be encouraging but her motherly
tone was coming out instead.

Bringing her hand back down, she saw herself in the reflection of the looking glass standing in the corner.
She had turned the lights off but the sunlight filtered in and there were a few well placed glows here and there.
Walking closer, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. When she was right in front of the glass, though,
she stopped and stared. It was the first time she had seen herself. Turning around to look over her shoulder,
she said nothing. Rhosyn stared. The Weyrwoman saw for the first time what she had done. And she could
do nothing but stare.

Last updated on the March 21st 2013

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A Moment of Weakness